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Adam Baruh: Welcome to Beyond the Microphone, a podcast about podcasters and the stories of how their shows came together, grew and what they discovered along the way. I’m your host, Adam Burrill. So normally with these episodes, I will introduce a podcasting topic to discuss before we get into our guest interview today.

Um, today I’m going to change things up a little bit. I’m just going to go right into our guest interview. So let’s go ahead and introduce our guest here today. It’s Alyssa Rocco and Pamela Rueda Davenport, co hosts of My [00:02:00] Badass Recovery, a podcast for anyone who wants to stop self sabotaging behavior and can’t. Recovery coaches Pamela and Alyssa know what that’s like. Addiction brought them both to their knees, inviting them to transform their lives through recovery. Now their mission is to empower others to rewrite their own stories through sobriety and recovery. Unfiltered, bold. And brave. This show will empower everyone to step into integrity and find a beautiful bad ass recovery of their own.

My bad ass recovery boasts a listen score of 34 and is ranked as a top 5 percent podcast, which is pretty awesome. Well done, ladies. Welcome to beyond the microphone.

Pamela Rueda: Thank you, Adam. We’re so excited to be here with you.

Alyssa Rocco: Yeah.

Adam Baruh: I’ve been looking forward to this one. Um, I don’t often, I, I haven’t had too many interviews with co hosts and I know that’s just a much, you know, different dynamic than like what I’m doing here. Just doing my own thing. So why don’t I turn it over to one of you guys [00:03:00] to introduce yourselves and, you know, a little bit about your background, you know, kind of, you know, in, in the intro, I mentioned a little bit of how you guys went through your own personal challenges and, and, and found your way to this podcast and.

At some point to each other before the podcast. So whichever one of you wants to jump in first and give that background, I I’d love to hear it.

Pamela Rueda: Alyssa?

Alyssa Rocco: That’s funny that she put it. Um, sure. So, well, first of all, thank you so much for having us on. It’s such a privilege to have this conversation with you and with your audience and Pamela and I met probably five years ago at this point. Um, and I was coaching at an international coaching company. I’ve been a coach for 10 years.

And primarily love coaching, but I’ve done, you know, executive coaching as well. And so, I, um, my journey as a coach led me to [00:04:00] get sober. And so, because of that, I found this organization that is really amazing called She Recovers. And She Recovers is a non profit organization helping women to recover from anything.

From addiction, from abuse, from anything that they’re struggling with. . And so I had gotten connected. I mean, they were, they were like the cool kids in sobriety. Like, I was like, oh, I wanna be sober if I can hang out with these people. And it was so fortuitous because I just happened to do a coaching call with Pamela who got connected to, to my coaching company, and she had this relationship, which she recovers.

She, she recovers coke. And so that really just inspired this friendship and over the years, we really were like, how can we, how can we work together? And the timing just wasn’t right. But after I started my own coaching practice, I was inspired to reach out to her again. And we started talking and we started talking about our journeys in recovery.

And we were like, we should [00:05:00] really do this. We should really have a conversation. And that’s what inspired the podcast, and I flew out to Texas, we recorded 10 days, launched, I mean, Pamela will tell you more about that, but it was really a divine intervention, as far as I’m concerned.

Adam Baruh: I love it. I mean, you know, so many of these connections we make, I feel like we manifest them and so Pamela, like let’s hear your side of, of, of that same journey and, and kind of what led into that same moment where, where you got to meet Alyssa.

Pamela Rueda: Yeah, I love her introduction. And we laughed because one of the magical things that happened is that when we were in the same room, cause she’s, she’s a badass. She’s brave. She was like, look, I’m just going to freaking fly over there. We’re going to get together and we’re going to do this, which That alone was magic because this was 2021 and at the time everything was being already started You know, like zoom was the thing but this woman got on a plane, you know [00:06:00] Came and stayed in Dallas in this loft that I had which was my office and we really learned to dance Together and that’s the laughter because when we started dancing we realized we both wanted to lead We were both like alpha males And that was one of the most interesting parts of our journey that we have learned because of both of us, you know, like she’s Italian American.

I’m Latina from Mexico. And the, both of us are really passionate, not just about our own recovery, but how through all of our falls and getting ups, we’ve really just kind of, we really want to put out a message. That’s very empowering. And with that, of course, we bring a lot of energy. A lot of ideas, and we had to really kind of peel back and learn to give each other the space to be, um, co creators of this little baby.

And so that’s been part of the magical thing with her. Sure. [00:07:00] Yeah,

Adam Baruh: beyond the microphone, again, there’s a lot of podcasts that kind of talk about little tips and tricks and stuff like that. Whereas beyond the microphone, what I, what I hope it is, is, you know, really getting into those stories.

I feel like so many podcasters get into this work because there’s some event or some journey that they’re on. Um, that’s transformational. Yeah. And it sounds like, you know, both of you guys kind of went through some level of, of a transformation. I mean, you talk about like, you know, wanting to stop the self sabotaging behavior and, you know, and you, you can get into it here as much as you want, but let’s, can we go there?

Can we talk a little bit about, you know, So, that, the transformation for each of you guys that really like gave, gave you this call to action to, to want to put the podcast together to hopefully by doing so help others and inspire others.[00:08:00]

Pamela Rueda: Well, if I may start, I think that one of the things that we noticed, Alyssa and I, is that there were, at the time, several podcasts out there that talked about recovery. Specifically, I’m in a journey of alcoholism, or alcohol use disorder, whatever you want to use, and Alyssa also has the same background.

In her case, she also had an eating disorder, and we share the disorder of codependency. Um, and so a lot of podcasts out there were talking about one of two things. Either, um, it was like, focus on the problem and a lot of the drunk a long kind of stories, which, yeah, there’s hope in those, of course, and, you know, thank God there are so many of those because they show the other side, but there wasn’t a lot of content out there about, You know, how to truly transform your life beyond just putting the bottle down or putting down the addiction of, you know, [00:09:00] toxic relationship or, you know, so we decided to do this podcast focused really on kind of the shame free version of how to get through this.

How do you sobriety really to transform your life? So, which is different than sobriety to just put the bottle down. You know, and I think that that was one of the threads that Alyssa and I found we had in common, that passion, that edge, that empowerment. And that’s why we’re so excited because all of a sudden, the podcast really became about dropping shame, about addressing head on the stigma, right?

We really talked about those stigmas that were alive and well in our society, in a society that normalizes drinking so very much. And so that’s where we really found our language and our passion. Oh, [00:10:00] wow.

Alyssa Rocco: you know, winded down our day. And I would not have gotten sober if, you know, the, the way I got sober, um, yeah, the way I lost the booze was I lost my job.

And I lost my job because I was lying about booze. And it wasn’t the quantity. It was how I was drinking. I was obsessed. I was planning my drinks on Friday, starting Monday, like, but I wasn’t drinking and like the, the reason I got sober and, and I don’t think I would have found a fellowship if of our 12 step program.

If, um, you know, it weren’t for the, the journey I had. And so for me, really addressing like what alcoholism is, what addiction is, what recovery is. Like, what these sort of big words actually broken down mean for people.

Adam Baruh: You know, shame, [00:11:00] there’s so much that comes along with shame. It’s really interesting. And in fact, that word itself is literally what launched me into this whole podcasting Space that I’m in and I’ll just share really briefly since you guys are sharing your stories. Um, I had an event when I was six years old, I was molested by a babysitter and at that age, for some reason, I put the blame on it to myself, right?

I wasn’t, I had no idea about any of that stuff. So like, clearly looking back now, I, I know that I wasn’t, you know, um, I didn’t like invite that experience in, but what happened was, you know, between six and now I’m 50. And so I started this journey a couple years ago, maybe like 47, 48. So that whole time between six years old and 47, this profound shame.

I didn’t even really know how to voice it. And in [00:12:00] fact, the weird thing is I never thought. Well, I had thought my entire life that that experience really didn’t have any artifact in who I was today. Um, and it was a conversation. I had hired a business executive coach who was also trained as a therapist.

And. In our second session, I was talking with her about just my divorce from my ex wife and how I still felt guilty because I saw how that still was impacting my older children and, and my coach asked the most important question anyone’s ever asked me, Adam, do you feel, do you think you feel guilt over that?

What happened with your kids or, or is there shame wrapped up in the baton? Honestly, I didn’t even know, like, the difference between guilt and shame. I’m like, I don’t know, like, Kristen, can you explain to me? And so, to paraphrase, I mean, she, she had said, you know, guilt is something that you feel bad about.

[00:13:00] Shame is you feeling bad for who you are, right? It’s like a belief system thing. And it’s, you know, that’s why when you guys were talking about it, um, You know, I find just the idea of shame is, is so, like, it’s not really discussed enough and you kind of talked about your own journeys with it, with your programs and how, you know, And I, I’ve not been there, so excuse me if I sound like I don’t know what I’m talking about, which I probably don’t.

But anyway, um, you know, maybe, maybe many of these, um, programs are more just like helping you to get off the booze and then kind of like, you know, your journey completes. But then there’s so much more that happens. Like you guys, you know, in, in, in your own coaching programs, it sounds like you talk a lot about what happens afterwards.

Pamela Rueda: Yeah, we do. Um, I love, I’m so very grateful that you share that so vulnerably Adam and literally you just [00:14:00] proved one of the most beautiful missions that Alyssa and I had, which is when you speak truth about your own life and you shed light in your own story with honesty and vulnerability about the things that really make us human and make us struggle and make us recover.

The people around you give themselves permission to do the same and to heal because look, we did not have the privilege. I didn’t have the privilege of knowing you more than 20 minutes ago. And now you’ve shared something so very intimate and so very beautiful and so very human with me that in a conversation that we could have had in any other context, maybe I could have known you for years before you shared this.

And so, you know. It brings so much relevance to these subjects. Shame, compassion for yourself, ownership of what you can change in your life, how you can show up differently for yourself and others, all of these things, even [00:15:00] though they sound like they’re very related to the drinking, the truth is they belong to every human experience, no matter whether you have an issue with alcohol or not.

You clearly had a similar scenario with your struggle with that part of your life. And I’m so very grateful that, you know, we get to talk about it.

Alyssa Rocco: And one of the things that struck me as you were talking is we have an episode on shame. And the episode on shame is Pamela’s favorite episode.

Pamela Rueda: Yeah.

Alyssa Rocco: about in shame is both of our, the, the both parts of our story that we thought we had to hide. And how we lived in this inner world, just really like filled with shame and blame and all of this stuff because we didn’t feel like we could talk about it with

Adam Baruh: Yeah.

Alyssa Rocco: And um, that’s a big part of why we launched the podcast.

Adam Baruh: Tell me a little bit about, you know, [00:16:00] so since you guys, you know, put yourselves on a path to healing and now it’s, you know, through your podcast and your coaching, it’s very much, you know, a mission that you have, um, you know, for me, like once I kind of. I had a revelation like so when I had that conversation with my coach, it was like a Friday.

We met on Fridays and again, it was my second session with her. I went home. I went about the rest of my day. I, you know, my younger kids, I did the whole family thing after I got home, dinner, put the kids to bed and everybody was asleep in my house and I was, I was watching a show and I just wrapped up the show.

It was like midnight, turned off the TV and that conversation had reentered my mind like, Hmm, guilt, shame. Like, is there something I, that I do feel shameful for? And it was like, as soon as I voiced that thought, [00:17:00] All of the history of my life between that event and, and now this moment in time all made sense because I did have alcoholism.

I did have some drug use, not anything major, but definitely smoking pot like 24 seven. Um, but then seeing, oh my God, like, I don’t know, maybe you guys describe like, did you kind of, you know, as, and I think Alyssa, you talked about it a little bit, but. Like, you know, when you’re, when you’re in it, when you’re in the alcoholism or whatever, and you’re kind of dealing with it, maybe you were blinded to like, like the why, like the reason why, like, did you guys experience something similar where like you weren’t really visible to the history, the impact, the, how deeply ingrained the shame or these belief systems were within yourselves.

Um, until some kind of revelatory moment in time.

Pamela Rueda: Yeah.

Alyssa Rocco: [00:18:00] Pamela, I, I want Pamela to go first because she has a really powerful story and then it makes sense for me to go after her in this one.

Pamela Rueda: Thank you, Bev. Um, so Adam, I was kidnapped when I was 20 years old in Mexico. And, um, and yes, it is as as strange as it sounds. Like, literally, there were people that went into my house, took me from my parents and held me for ransom, you know? And I didn’t know if I was going to get home alive or chopped in pieces in a trash bag.

I did get home alive. Um, that was very much a representation of what was going on in the 1995 area, area of my country. And I moved to the U. S. And when I moved, I started a deep process of codependency. Meaning, I was not taking care of myself in order to take care of the others around me. And I was so ashamed.

Of, um, this event, even though I had nothing to do with it. So it’s [00:19:00] really weird, right, how it processes. But at night, I felt ashamed that I was having, you know, these anguishing dreams. And I couldn’t really talk to my parents, because I didn’t want them to worry, which is codependency at its best. And of course, I didn’t even think of requesting or going to therapy, because that wasn’t a thing, you know.

And I drank. And I drank to numb. And I drank to escape and I didn’t do it consciously, but you know, flash forward, you know, it’s like, and then 35, you know, at 35, 15 years later, you lift up your head and you’re like, what the fuck? Where did my life go? What happened? How is it that I am driving my child drunk, you know, from a movie theater home?

And, and it’s, it goes in a blink and an eye, but the shame comes with then saying, I’m a bad person. Yeah. But when you start to tie all of the links together and you start to get a bigger understanding [00:20:00] of how shame and addiction, you know, they’re very, very entangled. And then you bring in the compassion to say, dude, that was my solution.

Like I can’t even hate my alcohol use because that was my best friend. That was, that allowed me to survive. And all of a sudden there’s a different sense of ownership, like, okay, it’s not my fault. But it’s mine to heal and I can feel compassion and then enter from a different, like, drop the shame and enter in a more empowerful and more loving way, truly.

Alyssa Rocco: Yeah.

Adam Baruh: Alyssa, did you have any, you wanted to add something to that, or?

Alyssa Rocco: Yeah, I mean, I, Pamela’s story is just so profound and powerful because it’s a moment and for me it wasn’t a moment. There was no, there was no main event that I could tie my drinking back to from my childhood. It was more about, How I’m built, the way that I think, and the role I took on in my family. [00:21:00] Um, I really took on a role where everything had to be okay.

I was the oldest. I was the one where I was like, just always had to be happy and carefree. Who told me that? Like, where that came from? I don’t know.

Pamela Rueda: That is your role. It is assigned

Alyssa Rocco: It really, it really was like, This, it was, it was this calling that I had and, and then the problem was I wasn’t allowed to, to me, I wasn’t allowed to feel angry, I wasn’t allowed to feel upset, I wasn’t allowed to feel different emotions, and so I would just keep suppressing them.

And then the more, the older I got, the more I would look for like ways to just control those feelings from coming out. I use bulimia, I use anorexia, I use alcohol, I use self harm. Awareness, I threw myself into the self help industry thinking that was going to fix me. And nothing ever did until I was brought to a surrender.

And then I really could access something greater [00:22:00] and access more of a spiritual solution.

Adam Baruh: Hmm. Well, thank you for sharing that. Um, those, the stories are absolutely profound. Um, I want to segue a little bit to the podcast and the way I’m going to do it is by sharing one more, one more, um, experience that I had, which was, so I think it was about a couple of days or a week or so after I had that revelation about guilt versus shame.

And I, and I, I kind of now started to realize, My, my worth and my value. I actually started journaling and I, I remember writing, Adam, you’re a bad ass like you literally for, for what you’ve been able to accomplish, given the shame and everything wrapped up into that you’re a bad ass. And now you guys have a podcast called my bad ass recovery.

I love the name of that. Are you guys, first of all, are you guys both bad asses? I mean, who’s the bigger bad ass here?

Pamela Rueda: both of us, I

Alyssa Rocco: I was going to say I am.

Pamela Rueda: from head to toe.

Adam Baruh: [00:23:00] I love it. I love it. Well, so when you guys, okay. So if I’m remembering correctly, I think it was Pamela that kind of had the first idea of doing a podcast together, right? So what did that look like when you started to like have conversations about, okay, so let’s do a podcast. Like where do we even begin?

Like how did, what was your journey like going from like that concept phase to eventually

Pamela Rueda: So it was really, I think Alyssa mentioned at the beginning that our journey was divine and I think it’s like literally the best word that she could have used. I’d come up with the name of my platform, my coaching platform where I have online courses and I do one on ones and all of it was already called my badass recovery.

But Alyssa being a badass herself really resonated with again the message, the everything. And so one day, I’m I believe and correct me if I’m wrong babe, but I believe that she woke up and she’s Incredible and [00:24:00] honestly, I admire her so much She has this beautiful discipline of a morning practice where every morning she wakes up at the cut of dawn and writes and in that meditation There was some sort of divine revelation that like led her to pick up the call and the phone and call me And say I you came to me this morning And it, I have to do something creative with you, like it’s in the cards or something along

Alyssa Rocco: That’s a very good explanation.

Pamela Rueda: Right?

Adam Baruh: uh, did you feel that too? Like, did you have a sense of that as well, Pamela? Like, something was

Pamela Rueda: interesting is that I was seeking, I’ve always been one of those weirdos that loves doing things by herself because I’m also a control freak and I feel like if I’m not leading it, it’s not gonna get done. Which is something I really have to work on because there’s nothing more beautiful than partnerships.

And, you know. Um, and so I think that Alyssa is one of my biggest teachers in that when she came and said, Hey, I really feel like we need to do that. I’d [00:25:00] already decided that I was going to start a podcast, but to be frank with you, I was terrified. I was terrified of producing something that would not have any traction.

I was terrified of just being me. There’s a million things, right? And so when she came in and said, I think we need to do something and I said, I’m thinking of this and she said, let’s do it. All of a sudden it was like, it was magic. It really was divine because I knew I would create an adventure that I wasn’t alone.

I was with this girl who truly is a badass.

Alyssa Rocco: And then to answer your question of like how it came from that to execution, we knew we wanted to put out content. We knew what we wanted to address because we both were very strong in our messaging and strong in really like dealing with stigma and shame and helping people just be honest and expressed.

And like, this is the best frickin thing ever. And we both loved our sobriety. So it was that that part of it was clear. We found somebody who would really, um, but, but [00:26:00] Pamela being, you know, the amazing executive producer that she is, she’s like, I’m not putting bad content, I’m not putting like poor quality, and so we found an amazing editor, and we found somebody who’s really gonna support us in doing the, the technical aspects of it, and then we started down the journey of working with him, and we realized we needed to be together when we recorded, we needed to be in the physical, same physical space, so I flew out to Texas, and, We took this space, we whiteboarded all of our episodes, and literally for two days, just went to like, here’s what we want to do, and each board was an episode, and we were like, we want to focus on one topic, and really break it down for people.

And that flow, that playfulness, that ability for us to like, interact in the same physical space, was, was profound for, for the production.

Pamela Rueda: yeah, yeah. And life has gotten in the way a little bit, Adam. Um, I mean, Alyssa has a baby, but I also probably four [00:27:00] months or three months after we launched the first season. I got sick. I got hit with a virus called Ramsey Hunt syndrome, um, which paralyzed half of my face and I am almost back to normal.

I still have some level of paralysis, but I was really I had to kind of peel back from my life. It was created by stress and I too many, you know, things on my plate. And so for almost a whole year, I kind of had to be, you know, in healing mode. And so it’s so beautiful because it’s, And then, you know, whatever, I moved homes and I started to live again with my partner.

So a bunch of things happened life wise and yet, we’ve never stopped creating. No matter how hiccup y it’s gotten. No matter how much, you know, kind of, start, stop. We, we have a course that’s coming out. We are in the midst of recording the second season, which includes It’s incredible opportunity like conversations with now with, you know, a third [00:28:00] party like authors and mentors and creators.

And so that’s the beauty that once you find a good partnership with someone that you really jive with at soul level, I mean, you better take care of that relationship. And I believe that that is what we’re doing. And she takes care of me with so much love too, for which I’m so grateful.

Adam Baruh: Awesome, yeah, I wanted to ask, um, kind of like where you guys are at in just, you know, your experience with it. Um, sounds like you’re going into a new season, so Um, you know, what’s the, I guess, what’s the concept or the theme if there is one of the new season and also, um, this will be a two part question, but how do you guys find your guests?

I’m just curious how you guys actually go and find guests to bring on your show.

Alyssa Rocco: Yeah, so, the first season was just the two of us. And so as we were talking about what’s, what’s coming up next, what was coming up just in our lives was that we were both [00:29:00] getting inspired by authors and by just like being sober chicks in the world and going to meetings and books and events and conferences.

And so we decided that for the second season, we really wanted to pull in experts and people that we wanted to talk to. And just really have as, as another entity, um, to bring in tools and tricks and research and information. And so the way that we decided who was very much how we came up with the podcast, it was very intuitive and it was very much based on like, you know, I’d been reading a book, uh, Soul Bridey and the author, I just totally resonated with the book.

And I reached out to the author and invited her on the podcast and she was like, yes. And that was really how, you know, Pamela found another author. And I’ll let you hear her tell the story, but it was, for me, it was very much intuitive based. Totally.

Pamela Rueda: you trust the person that you’re with, like if she says to me, Hey, we need to get this person on the [00:30:00] podcast. I’ll say yes. Then I’ll figure out if I, you know, like I’ll read the book or I’ll research her, but. Once she, she says something and likewise, right, I, I feel the same level of love and generosity from her side when I say, Hey, I really want to get this guy on the podcast or something.

And I think at the core of it is Adam is we can, we can talk about sobriety in terms of drinking alcohol, but in a much broader picture from what we’ve said before, I think you’ve gotten a gist of it. We really, both of us had to get under the hood and understand really what it was, it our solution. What was it the solution for?

Um, and the both of us found that the solution of drinking was for a lot of our codependency. So we’ve also, um, connected with authors that talk about that. Like Alyssa and I are really interested in the link between drinking and codependency, which is basically when you abandon yourself, when you are [00:31:00] living, expecting something external, something or someone.

to fill, you know, that hole in you basically. And so that liaison is so very important to us. And we’re finding incredible voices in the space that are getting kind of really interesting for us. Um, interview wise.

Adam Baruh: I love that. All right. Well, tell me how, cause you guys are coaches as well. You have a coaching program. Is that together or individually? Okay. Both. Yeah. Okay.

Alyssa Rocco: launching a course together.

Pamela Rueda: That’s true.

Adam Baruh: And so how do you guys use the podcast, um, to support that or do you, or is it kind of completely separated? Right.

Pamela Rueda: thing about our season one, Adam, is that we created it purposefully to have a beautiful flow, almost as if it [00:32:00] were a course. So, like, I know that both of us constantly refer people to the podcast, which of course is free and people can listen in every podcast outlet out there, so it’s very conveniently placed.

And it truly gives you a real understanding of ten episodes, which truly take you from this is the basics of what’s addiction, this is their story, this is what the solution is, this is how The divine is integrated into our recovery. This is codependency. This is shame. This is taking empowerment and this is how you live in the world as a badass over human.

And so it’s kind of like this curve. And so now it’s really cool because the podcast itself has driven people to us saying, I heard you on the podcast. I love. The vibe that you give out for recovery because that’s the thing a lot of people’s like, oh, yeah I’m sober and the conversation is I’m sober meaning I can’t do the things that other people do Oh, you know I’m always kind of shamed and really when you see sobriety as [00:33:00] either lack or punishment Or you can’t do something then kind of you’re screwed if you see sobriety as transformation Juicy sexy possibility, you know like learning the best version of you then things shift and so That’s what comes across, we hope, in the podcast for people.

Alyssa Rocco: Yeah, and to, and to answer your question just clearly, we put content out there to attract people to us. And that’s how we’ve been using the podcast for our business. It’s

Adam Baruh: here today. They’re, they’re both on the topic or the theme of discoveries. And so the first one, and I’m trying to think, like, should I have, yeah, let’s do this. Let’s have both of you guys offer your insight on each of these two questions.

Okay. Cause I think that’ll be pretty compelling. All right. So on the theme of discoveries, the first question is what discoveries have you made about podcasting? Since you [00:34:00] started hosting your own show just about podcasting itself.

Alyssa Rocco: um, in and of itself, it doesn’t generate money. It’s not something where like you put it out there and like all of a sudden you’re like making money or advertising or anything and I think that on some level like I was, I was a little bit of a fantasy thinker and like, wow, like this is gonna just have us be on the map.

Adam Baruh: Right.

Alyssa Rocco: What it has done is it’s put content out there that we believe in that we refer people to that people will reach out to us to. So like I’m. Inspired by the content and then the energy of that and the momentum of that is what has helped in other areas of my life to generate income, to get more clients, to do the growth aspects of my business.

Adam Baruh: Yeah, I could totally resonate with that. I think a lot of [00:35:00] people get into it and they’re like, yeah, we’ll get advertising, you know, and we’ll make all this money. But it’s really not the reality for most people. But Pamela, what are your thoughts on discoveries just around podcasting

Pamela Rueda: I

Adam Baruh: you got started?

Pamela Rueda: honestly, I, I went into it, Adam, thinking it was gonna be a great adventure. I, I guess I just hadn’t realized the power that a podcast has when it comes to like just, Bringing this intimate conversation. It really allows people to, um, you know, to get to know you better. And so it’s really like an honor because, you know, we have above 10, 000 downloads now, which is not a lot because we haven’t put a lot of marketing behind it, but it’s also a lot because we haven’t done anything.

And, and that’s the beauty of it, right? That people Call us and say, wow, you really inspired me and these are people that we wouldn’t have touched otherwise that we wouldn’t have [00:36:00] had the privilege of, you know, sharing our story, our story of, you know, of grief, of, of, of terror, of hope, of, you know, and so I think that that podcasting is just so revolutionary and so powerful because it allows for someone to just intimately get to know you and it’s a

Adam Baruh: so accessible and it is really unique in my opinion because it does, like it’s, I don’t know what it is about podcasting, but it does create this safety or this, this space for these types of vulnerable conversations to be had. And I don’t know. I find that to be unique.

Pamela Rueda: Yeah. Yeah.

Alyssa Rocco: I

Adam Baruh: All right, so final question again on the theme of discoveries.

Um, and let’s start with you this time, Pamela. what discoveries have you made personally about yourself through podcasting that you weren’t aware of

Pamela Rueda: Aha. This is a great question. Um, honestly, Adam, I think at the beginning, so the, [00:37:00] the beginning experience for me was being interviewed, not having the podcast. I had like this little bout where I was booked on a lot of interviews because of the, my badass recovery, because I was putting out courses because of social media.

And what I found about myself personally is that I was. excited. And so I was treating each interview a little bit more like from a producer standpoint, like I was really trying to tell a story and I was trying to answer with the right words and I was losing a little bit of my identity. And so I started to notice, you know, I had like vulnerability hangover after a lot of my interviews.

But then I also realized I wasn’t really listening to what people were asking me I was just kind of trying to deliver the best version of instead of just kind of calmly bringing my honesty and And I may have a bad day these days and say man. I’m just a shitty day. So bear with me And, you know, I [00:38:00] feel a lot more honest and a lot more, like, in alignment with myself than when I’m trying to, you know, dance the dance that you expect me to.

And so that has been a little bit of the discovery that as I get more comfortable in putting my voice out there, um, and again, that also, it’s a, it’s a gift because with Alyssa, we, she’s given me the gift of, of being able to be myself, you know, interruptions at all because I interrupt her a lot and we’ve learned to dance and, and it’s just, I have my voice now.

I like that.

Adam Baruh: hmm. I love that. Well, Alyssa, what, what would you have to say about, you know, some self discoveries that podcasting helped you realize?

Alyssa Rocco: I first of all, I love it. I, I was not the one who had the thought of the podcast Pamela did. And when she said it, I was like, okay, like I was willing to go for her like play, but I didn’t expect to really enjoy it the way that I do. And I think that the reason I enjoyed it so much is because of [00:39:00] something you touched on Adam, which was that I love.

One of my favorite things in the whole world is to have honest conversations that go below the surface of the superficial chit chat that we usually have in day to day life and because it’s intimate. I’m with my girlfriend Pamela and we get to like just look each other in the eye and have this really deep intimate conversation that ends up going out into the world.

So it’s like the really cool where. Intellectually, I think I’m just more honest because it feels like I’m talking to her, but really I’m talking to everybody and it allowed me to get more comfortable with like, oh my, and I remember when the podcast went out, it was like my, my, my family who I’m very close to my family, but they were going to learn things about me that I had not shared with them.

Like it was, I was nervous for my brother to listen, you know, so that, that was very interesting to me.

Adam Baruh: Yeah, [00:40:00] I, I can completely relate to that too. It’s like, um, you know, I went for what at 43 years or whatever. Um, where I, I didn’t even tell my ex wife what happened. I didn’t tell my current wife. No, but I just couldn’t, I never told anybody. And now here I am kind of like very openly talking about, you podcasting.

So yeah, I think it’s just a really, you know, cool. I don’t know if industry is the right word, but just a cool community, I guess, is a better word to be a part of because yeah, like me being able to meet you guys, both of you guys here today and, and have this discussion. I mean, without podcasting, you know, how would we have been able to meet?

And I’m so happy that I’ve been able to meet you guys today. So thanks so much for coming on to be on the microphone.

Pamela Rueda: Again, divine. It’s that word, man. Divine. Just random beautiful gifts from the universe. And by the way, I’d love to know if you have ever read Brene Brown on the subject of shame.

Adam Baruh: Um, a little [00:41:00] bit, um, definitely scratched the surface, um, with Brene Brown, but, um, you know, one of the things that really helped me in my recovery was Tara Brock’s RAIN method. If you know Tara Brock, she’s got this, um, RAIN as an acronym for Recognize, Allow, Investigate and Nurture. And you touched on it, Pamela, before about, um, the self compassion.

That was the thing. In my own life, I never made space for, I never gave attention to because I didn’t think I was worthy enough because of the shame, but, um, and I’m still in the journey of recovery, I think probably I always will be, um, but I try to at least, in a very organized and dedicated way, like, make space for that, that self nurturing love, because what am I without that, really, you know?

Pamela Rueda: Love it.

Alyssa Rocco: beautiful,

Adam Baruh: How could people, Oh, sorry, Alyssa, go ahead.

Alyssa Rocco: no, no, finish your thought and then I can

Adam Baruh: Oh, I was, I just wanted [00:42:00] to make space, um, for you guys to tell us how people can find out more about your coaching programs, your podcast, what, you know, anything you want to know, um, for people to be able to follow what you guys are doing.

Pamela Rueda: So Alyssa, um, has her own site. She’ll tell you about it for her personal coaching for my badass recovery. The podcast can be found really in any outlet. You can find us on Apple and Spotify and Pandora and all the. All the places like the like my badass recovery podcast and then my personal site is also my badass recovery Podcast no my badass recovery.

com. Sorry. That’s where I have my mentorship and my online courses that people can find and Alyssa

Alyssa Rocco: So my personal website for coaching is at RoccoCollective. com and then Pamela and I have a course that’s going to be launching in the fall called I Am Sober Now What? And it is an online course and you can find that at [00:43:00] MyBadAssRecovery. com.

Adam Baruh: Awesome. We’ll have these links in our episode show notes, so definitely follow up with Pamela and Alyssa. Definitely get into their podcasts. I know I will because I’m just hugely interested in this topic. Thank you so much for your own vulnerability and authenticity to bring your stories into the work that you do and sharing them here today.

So thank you both.

Pamela Rueda: Thank you, Adam, it

Alyssa Rocco: you. It’s been such a joy. Oh my God. I am really grateful that we were here.

Adam Baruh: Definitely.

Pamela Rueda: Likewise. So thrilled. Thank you.

Adam Baruh: You got it. Pamela used alcohol to self medicate the trauma from a kidnapping and other life events. She quit through the 12 steps and her life got better. However, there was something missing. She was not drinking, yes, but she still felt disconnected, small, ashamed, and lost to herself. After five years sober, she drank and was off to a long two year relapse.

She lost her marriage, her job, and her self respect. Getting sober again, she knew [00:44:00] just sobriety wouldn’t cut it, so she embarked on a journey to Find what had been missing the result, total transformation. Pamela founded My Badass Recovery in 2017, a recovery platform that presents her new approach to sobriety.

Through online courses and coaching, she teaches people how to drop the shame, develop a powerful sobriety, and truly love the new, sober version of themselves. And as for Alyssa, after spending nearly a decade in the biotech industry, participating in the launch of two successful life changing medicines for cystic fibrosis and hepatitis C, Alyssa felt like something was missing in her life.

After one session with a life coach, she realized she wasn’t happy and didn’t know how to be happy. This realization inspired a journey. Alyssa became a coach, changed careers, and embarked on a beautiful transformation of healing her addictions to alcohol. Codependency and food through the process of recovery over the last 10 [00:45:00] years.

She’s brought a deep understanding of the Handel method, 12 step recovery tools, and an MA in organizational psychology to transform hundreds of lives. She’s taught programs at MIT and Columbia university and managed the launch of a self coaching online program. Beyond the microphone is sponsored by pod task.

Whether you’re just starting out in podcasting or you’ve been at this a while and are looking to save time so you can focus on creating amazing content for your listeners, go check out pod task, a podcast management and marketing platform designed by podcasters for podcasters with pod tasks, automated workflow, and AI based marketing tools.

You’ll save time and sanity and be better equipped to grow your shows. If you’re enjoying Beyond the Microphone, please subscribe on Apple Podcasts or wherever you’re listening, as well as to our YouTube channel. You can find all of these links in our episode show notes. Thank you all for listening, and we’ll see you next time on Beyond the Microphone.

EIQ Media: Beyond the Microphone is produced and distributed by [00:46:00] EIQ Media Group, LLC. Elevate your emotional IQ with podcasts and content focused on entrepreneurship, overcoming adversity, stories of emotional courage, women’s health, aging, and more.