Monica Royer: [00:00:00] Welcome to The Mentor Files. I’m your host, Monica Royer, founder and CEO of Monica Andy. Join me as I chat with leaders across the fields of entrepreneurship, parenthood, health, and lifestyle. This season we’re digging deeper than ever before to learn the story behind the story. Think of the show as one part Audible MBA and one part certification to be the confident CEO of your own life.

Here we go.

today I’m so excited to be sitting with two of my friends, um, and people that I’ve had a great opportunity to work with. They are two Chicago based business owners that are building a beauty empire is the way that I like to think about it.

Um, Susie and Michelle, and I would love for you ladies

Suzie Caroll: to introduce yourselves. I’m Susie Carroll. I am a nurse practitioner and co founder of the fits. with my best friend, Michelle. Oh, that’s sweet.

Michelle Shetty: I am Michelle Shetty. I am a registered nurse and I am also a co founder of

Monica Royer: The Fitz. Okay, so tell us a little bit [00:01:00] about The Fitz to start.

So

Suzie Caroll: the fits is a medical aesthetic and wellness practice in Chicago in the Old Town neighborhood of Chicago, just a few blocks from here. Um, it opened in 2020 right after the pandemic, right in

Michelle Shetty: the pandemic,

Suzie Caroll: but right after the stay at home order was lifted and we started it together. We were at a different med spa and we wanted to kind of elevate the experience.

and bring the aesthetic and med spa world to people of like all shapes, all sizes, all backgrounds, um, because we felt like there was a little bit of that missing in at least Chicago and kind of nationally. So.

Monica Royer: Yeah. Well, and one of the things, there’s so many different topics that we can get into, but that I’m most interested is that you had different careers first that have led into still what you’re doing now.

But I think one thing that’s fascinating is kind of like the story behind the story is you get a chance to meet people. And so for people [00:02:00] that are listening and for women that are like, even thinking about that career choice, maybe they did something different before they had kids, or maybe they’re just at a point in their life where they’re like, you know what, I love what I’m doing.

But I’m ready to do something new. Tell me a little bit about going from like hospital clinical setting, or I think you both were working previous to this and then transitioning to having your own business. I love that you

Michelle Shetty: brought that up because I was thinking about that with you because you’re such a mentor to me.

And, um, I almost like intimidating to think of the success that you’ve had And when we talk about the fits, I feel like we’re just like such small potatoes compared to what you’ve done But then knowing that you didn’t come from this world either It makes me understand like you did a lot of learning on your journey as well.

So I started, um, in nursing and pediatrics and I particularly worked with children with cardiac disease. So I worked in DC at the [00:03:00] children’s hospital and then I worked here at the cardiac care unit, um, at Lurie Children’s. And I really. I loved working with the team. I love kids. Um, and it was so meaningful to really meet parents and families where they were sometimes on the worst day of their lives and to be with them on that journey.

So there’s some medicine that you practice and you meet a patient. Maybe they come in with appendicitis. You take care of them for a night. They go home and you never talk to them again. But the kind of medicine that I like to practice is really building relationships. Seeing a patient, you know, and children born with cardiac disease are in the hospital a lot.

So they might go home for a little bit. They come back for another surgery. They get a heart transplant. So to be part of that journey, Be invited to birthday parties or heart transplant anniversaries or something like that really solidified Like this is the kind of medicine I like to be involved in I like to meet people where they are and then like [00:04:00] build relationship with them which is translated really well into aesthetics because that’s how I think about my patients today.

What’s crazy is

Suzie Caroll: that I also found that when I was in the hospital, what I love, the patients I love to take care of, um, were the hospice patients and it wasn’t because, uh, the, the. type of medicine, but it was because I, the end goal of a hospice patient or like the actual goal is to make them feel good, to make them feel comfortable.

Um, and so I know I didn’t want to practice in the hospital setting forever, but I really loved making people feel good. And a lot of not to be crass, but one of the patient, one of the doctors that I was talking to said, if you save someone from a heart attack, they’ll thank you once, but if you make someone poop again, like a GI forever, because you’re making them feel good.

Right. And that’s kind of how I feel with aesthetics is like, if you make someone feel [00:05:00] good, um, they’ll always remember you. And so, like, that’s kind of how I found my niche in aesthetics. Um. It’s just kind of like, what’s the end goal, and like, how are we on this journey together? So. And did you

Monica Royer: think when you were going into nursing to begin with, did you think that it’s a place that you would stay forever in the clinical setting, or did you both, or like in the hospital setting, or did you both think, separately, that like, hey, I’m starting here, but I might want to do something different?

Because I think that’s what’s interesting about when other people are thinking about their journeys, is understanding, like, When the bug to maybe become an entrepreneur bit. I mean,

Suzie Caroll: I’ve always been an idea person. Um, and that’s in our partnership. That’s kind of how we roll is like, I’m the idea person.

So I’ve always just gone with, you know, little like threads here and there. Um, I never thought when I was going into nursing or I don’t know if you did either is [00:06:00] like, I’m going to be a business owner and a nurse. That’s kind of not a conventional way

Monica Royer: of

Suzie Caroll: thinking, but as we’re working together, um, as we met and we just started.

Talking, we kind of like empowered each other and got these ideas that kind of like grew together.

Monica Royer: And, um, the first

Suzie Caroll: step that we ever actually really. Do you want to tell the story?

Michelle Shetty: Sure. I know what you’re going to say. So we’d been like playing with this idea of if we ever did this, what would we do differently?

Oh, this could be better. We wouldn’t do it this way. So we said, okay, if, if we’re serious about stepping in here, we need to sit down and see if we’re even on the same page. So she came over to my house. My, my daughter was probably what, like seven months old or something. Chaos. Yeah, um, she was crawling across the table and we both took about 10 minutes and we just wrote What we [00:07:00] wanted to build and suzy said if what we both write down independently aligns Then we’ll know that we’re on the right track.

Yeah And it was I like have chills. Actually. I know I know No, and um It really solidified like okay. We have the same values and the same goals for a business What did we both wrote down? We both wrote down. We wanted to create a place where people felt better leaving, even if they had nothing done. So we wanted to have warmth.

We wanted to build people up. So in our industry, people are coming in with. Talking about things they’ve maybe never shared with anyone before or their deepest insecurities And sometimes it’s something they’ve told all their friends fine But we wanted them to comment even if we’re suggesting to make changes that they would still feel loved and supported and Empowered on their journey just to have a great experience.

Yeah, but [00:08:00] I think I I said this before, like, I feel like I was kind of raised to be a teacher or be a nurse and then be a mom or in some combination of those. And Susie always says, oh no, I knew I would own a business. And so maybe you didn’t know it was going to be like related to nursing. I just knew that I was, I

Suzie Caroll: always have these ideas and so I’m always going, like I’m always thinking of what’s

Michelle Shetty: next, what’s next.

Yeah. And I think I really got to a point in the hospital where I thought, This is unsustainable. Working nights, working weekends, working holidays. I know I want to have a family. I’m getting burnt out. Interestingly, when I was younger, I could handle the sad stuff more easily. I think as I got older and could actually feel like closer and relate to families a little bit more that it, it became even more difficult for me to see something awful happening to a child.

So I was [00:09:00] wanting something else. And I love detail work. I, that’s why I love the ICU. I love having to be on my game. I like high pressure, but I was looking for something different, but I still didn’t know own your own business. I just knew I, I wanted something outside the hospital that wasn’t just like taking vital

Monica Royer: signs of the clinic.

That’s so interesting because I think for people that are listening, thinking about starting their own business, I think one of the lessons I’ve learned in entrepreneurship, and it’s not that you can’t start something really successful at like the age of 21, but I think there’s something about life experience and coming at entrepreneurship from an angle that’s different, that brings you some, that brings something different to what you’re doing.

And so it’s so interesting coming from the nursing background and having that hospital experience that brought you that like. Joy of caring for patients and making them feel good and things that like, had you gone straight to doing what you’re doing today, you might’ve just like skipped over and not understood.

And so I think sometimes we talk to college kids that are coming out [00:10:00] and like everybody wants to have their life mapped out. And I always say life will map. It’s going to map itself, but just don’t be afraid to take the first step. Don’t overthink like the first thing you’re going to do too much because wherever you start, it’s going to lead you to all of these other places.

And then the other thing that I really took away, I love. Um, and now I’ve been fortunate to have like executive coaching and like a little bit of a reflection on myself and Susie for you to be like, I’m divergent. I have so many different ideas, right? Sometimes the drugs are

Suzie Caroll: crazy, but

Monica Royer: you didn’t even realize you were becoming such a perfect parent is what I learned.

Is that you want to have one person that’s divergent, but another person that can kind of converge on like, all right, I heard all the stuff that you’re saying, how do we map it out? And it’s like flexibility versus structure and all of these things too. So. What’s it like being co founders and friends?

Cause I have a co founder who is my friend. I mean, we’ve been working together for like almost a decade, but he was a 20 year old bachelor. I was like a mom, like we were, we’re, we’re very different people. And [00:11:00] so we didn’t start off as friends. You know, we’ve just become friends over time because we don’t have a choice, but to be friends at this point, but being friends and having a business together, it seems like it works so beautifully for both of you.

Like, why do you think it does? Cause I think in certain cases you see people that are like friends, they have a business, they’re like. Oh my gosh, like, we can’t do this anymore. Yeah. I

Suzie Caroll: think, um, we were friends first, and we always that. Um,

Monica Royer: but in so many ways, we’re also

Suzie Caroll: married. So, um, not only like legally, but we, with our business, but, um, we, we, we talk about it a lot.

We say, Oh, we need to feed the friendship. We need to just talk about. Non business things. Um, and I think that, I mean, it’s not easy. We’ve had our disagreements. Um, we were, we’re three and a half years in, um, to opening the business, but you [00:12:00] know, four years into like becoming business partners and we’re still learning about ways that we can better support each other, better work through things.

Um, but the conversation between the two of us is becoming.

Monica Royer: It’s so open,

Suzie Caroll: and it can get uncomfortable, but like, if I can’t be uncomfortable with my partner, um, then, you know, like, there’s no growth. So, um, We’re always growing. We’re always talking. She is, uh, like way even from the introduction and talking about your, your nursing experience, she’s a little bit more emotional and like you feel things you’re more on the connection person.

And I’m more like the analytical, like crazy. Um, and.

Monica Royer: You’re a walking

Michelle Shetty: contradiction is what you are. Yeah.

Suzie Caroll: But at least we know these things about ourselves and each other.

Monica Royer: What’s so interesting about that, and just thinking [00:13:00] about this from like a higher level perspective, like kind of looking down on it, you are so perfectly yoked to work together in a sense that And if people are thinking about like, should I go into business with my friend?

I think you, Michelle, you said one interesting thing, which is you had the same values. And so I think starting there and like, even my business partner, Brian, it’s like, we have the same values and we come from the same place. And I think that’s essential, but you have different personalities. And I think that’s really important too, because if you have, if you both want to do the exact same thing, want to hover in the exact same area, if you’re full of all of these ideas, not that you both don’t have ideas.

But I think having a balance between what one person enjoys doing and what another person enjoys doing is like one of the keys. Because if you both want to do the exact same thing all the time, I think it makes it really hard to do it. Cause then you’re constantly getting in each other’s way rather than being able to work together in order to like move the ball forward.

And I feel like after 10 years in the business, so to speak, like I’ve seen a lot of people on different sides where like there. they [00:14:00] go up and down. Well, there’s

Suzie Caroll: also no like exploration too. If you’re just kind of going in the same lane, you’re never gonna like venture outside. So at least we’re kind of growing the same direction kind of like, but um, just taking different paths as far as like exploring different avenues.

And then we come together and we say, okay, this is how we want to do it. And then we both have different ideas of how it can be done. And then we find some way. Which is like, a

Michelle Shetty: cool, different way to do things. Well, Monica said you guys seem to work together so beautifully. And I almost chuckled because I thought that sounds like you work together easily But actually beautiful is the perfect word for it, right?

because the most beautiful things in your life are the things that you worked for and struggled for and there’s a balance of Of like dark and light and beauty, right? so

Monica Royer: I’ve done this too much. I knew it wasn’t easy.

Michelle Shetty: I know that, but

Suzie Caroll: like, you know, at first [00:15:00] you think, Oh, are you perfectly paired or Susie Michelle just laughing all the time?

But we laugh a

Michelle Shetty: lot, but we’ve had to learn to have the harder conversations faster so that things don’t build. And, you know, a few weeks ago I had to have a difficult conversation with Susie and. I said, I knew that talking to you was the only way I was going to feel better. But I still was hesitant to have a conversation.

Do you know what I mean? Like, because whatever we need to talk through was going to be difficult, but I still knew at the end of the day, like no matter what, that when we have the difficult talks, we are so much stronger for them. Um, and I think when, when you talk about your value system, something that I’ve kind of been exploring a lot lately is, um.

Trusting your gut, right? And so your nervous system is like constantly scanning your environment constantly. [00:16:00] Like, and maybe 10 percent of what our nervous system is doing is conscious, right? Like I look at Monica and I think, Oh, I can tell she’s engaged with me and she has kind eyes and I feel a connection with her, but your body’s doing so much else subconsciously and sending you signals about it.

Right. And so I’m starting to try to identify more closely. When I’m talking to someone or when there’s a decision to be made and something is telling me like it doesn’t feel right or I don’t feel safe here. Maybe I don’t feel safe that I can trust you. Maybe I don’t feel safe that I’m walking in my car and someone’s around the corner.

But I’m trying to listen to that gut more and I’m trying to like keep close to the people that make me feel safe and warm. And I was talking to my staff about this actually yesterday and somebody said, yeah. My, you know, my friend told me that you should pick your partner that makes you, like, feel like a fireplace.

Like, they’re cozy, they’re warm, [00:17:00] they’re safe, right? Not like fireworks necessarily, but you want that safety net, that warmth feeling. I don’t know. Something I’m playing with. But

Suzie Caroll: also, that comes from experience. Um, and we were talking the other day about maybe bringing someone on and joining our team. Mm hmm.

And You know, I said, Oh, what about this person? And Michelle said, yeah, I don’t know. And it was so much because we’ve had this conversation. It was so much easier for us to just say, okay, if that’s your first reaction or if that’s your gut, like let’s just end the conversation. Let’s not try to make this puzzle piece fit because it’s just going to bite us in the butt

Monica Royer: down the line.

I think that’s so true. And trusting your gut, I think is such a universal thing to consider. Cause I feel like. Sometimes as women, we’re less trained to be able to, to do that. And I think as you get more assured in your decision making, as you get more assured in your business, definitely like leaning into your point to like, wait, I have that [00:18:00] feeling again.

And especially as it relates to people, because for sure in the early days, I feel like for us, even, you know, we’d have somebody that we loved and then like the company would evolve and we’re like, how do we evolve the job with them? Like, what’s the thing that they could do next. And then you get to a point where you’re just like.

Maybe the job can evolve with the person, but maybe the new job needs somebody new to do it too. And so it’s like, it’s hard to, to, especially as you’ve got two people, like Brian and I, a lot of times we’ll have like a differing opinion about stuff or there are things that we always agree about or whatever it is.

But I think learning to kind of honor how the other person is feeling or even anticipate it is really helpful. Like, I feel like Brian and I are both extremely optimistic, but for him, it’s like, He almost doesn’t remember the bad experiences because we’ll get back and like, I’ll be like, no, don’t you remember?

That’s her! A hundred times in a row, like, that has not worked for us. And he’s just like, no, what are you talking about? And so it’s like me starting to recognize that or, you know, with me, there’s things that like, he then evaluates too and is [00:19:00] like, hold up, Monica, you know, we’ve made that bad decision like 10 times already and like, here’s why we should do something differently.

But. It’s getting to know yourself better, but then getting to know the other person, because you’re like, uh oh, here we go again. Yeah. Like the board yelled at us for that like 20 times already, but we’re gonna go to the board meeting and do the same thing. Same thing’s gonna happen. Yeah. You know, but it takes a long time to learn some of those lessons.

It does,

Suzie Caroll: and it, and they’re hard to learn, especially when it comes to people. You know, um, but we’ve, we’ve learned, we’ve pushed through and again, we’re in like kind of the baby phases of like,

Monica Royer: compared to where you’re at. So

Suzie Caroll: we’re, we’ve had the hard lessons, we’re growing and we’re understanding each other

Monica Royer: and.

How hard is having a business from your perspective? Like is it harder than you thought it would be? Is it easier than you thought it would be? Is it the same? Like what was your anticipation of what owning your own business would be like versus the reality of it? Yeah. Yeah. I,

Michelle Shetty: every business owner you’ve ever talked to or read about tells you [00:20:00] how much hard

Monica Royer: work it is.

I don’t think we were scared of hard work, right?

Michelle Shetty: What I didn’t expect was how hard it is. Not the work, but having to evolve yourself, having to grow. The pain the hurt feelings the disappointment in yourself the disappointment in other people For me, it is much more like the emotional work that you have to do You know, you never want to have a difficult conversation with an employee you never want to feel like you let an employee down or Or something patient patient or whatever it may be You know, and when, and when you’re the backstop, it’s on you.

And so that has been harder than I expected it to be, I think. Um, so that, yeah, the hard work doesn’t scare me. I wasn’t surprised by it, but the difficulty of it. I was surprised by, I think [00:21:00] if I knew how hard it was going to be, I’m not sure I would have chosen it, but am I so glad that we did like, absolutely.

And the other thing that I’ve been really grateful for recently is our struggles. Which is, maybe I wouldn’t have said a year ago, right? I would have said, I wish I jumped over all of that stuff. The, heart, like, heart racing, what are we gonna do? Is this gonna ruin us? Terrified of the next move, nights.

Because now that we’re in a place that I feel like we’ve worked so hard to cultivate our work environment, our team, our trust in each other and the people around us. I don’t think I would appreciate it the same way. Um, I wouldn’t be as grateful. I might not treat those staff members as well as I do because I know how rare it is and how much work it takes.[00:22:00]

So I think. Yeah, despite those first two years being really difficult. I’m happy. Yeah,

Suzie Caroll: I think Yes to all of that. I agree I think that we I want to like echo everything she says but add to We also weren’t I don’t think we were really prepared for the success of the Fitz Like, I, we knew we had this great idea and our values were there and we felt so passionately about it and we knew it was going to be great, but what’s been a lot of pressure is how great it’s been.

And I know that sounds ridiculous and it

Monica Royer: sounds, it’s like the bigger kid, bigger problem, like the better you do, the farther there is to fall.

Suzie Caroll: Exactly. And we have we have way more staff that we thought than we kind of thought we would have and we have [00:23:00] our patients are, you know, we’ve outgrown our space basically, right?

And patients are flying in and, you know, the stakes are so much higher. Um, and so that’s another added level of pressure. Oh, yeah. Um. And so that that’s been something that was kind of surprising and a great surprise, but I mean, you’re right. Big, bigger

Monica Royer: kid, bigger problems. It ups the stakes so much. I think it’s interesting how everybody that I’ve ever talked to about a business and it’s how you articulated it, Michelle.

It’s like, It’s so much, the grit is so much grittier than everything you’re going to have to get into. And I thought, I read something my brother was talking about recently, which is like a startup doesn’t fail sometimes until the founder gives up. And I think you go through so many different stages. And I remember thinking a few years ago, how could anyone give up?

Like, this is so fun. Like, I enjoy this so much. And then I went through another couple of years and I’m like, you know, I’ve never considered giving up, but I could see how it happens because the stakes in your personal life [00:24:00] can become so high. And The stakes on the stress and you have to constantly, I think about it in a way that like, it’s like every day.

I think this stress is like a gift of a sort. Like I’m choosing this. I don’t have to do this. Nobody’s making me do it. There’s people out there that don’t have a choice, but to do what they do. I have a choice. And so every day I have to be like, it’s my choice. If I’m on zoom till 7 PM, if I’ve got a million things rolling in, um, it gets me down at times where it stresses, but then you have to be like, you know what?

I, I don’t have to be here doing this. And I think that’s an important thing to walk through that proverbial door every day and be like, this is my choice because I feel like that’s helped me get through moments where I’m like, you know what, there’s so much good that comes from this. That I, that I take for granted, that if that just went away overnight, like there’s a price to pay for everything.

And so I think about something like that stress over that level is like a price. And there’s times like you go through it more, there’s moments you’ll get to where you’re just be like, is this [00:25:00] worth my family? Is this worth my fertility? Is this worth my, like the things that I might be giving up along the way.

And then I have to constantly reevaluate and say, you know what, like I’m okay with what I haven’t, what I haven’t got, because what I do have is like enough. For those next steps. But I thought that was so interesting about this idea that it doesn’t fail until you’re just like, I’m done. And I really honor the people that like, have to be like, I’m done.

Like I get it. You might not have the support network to keep doing it. And we’ve both said, and

Suzie Caroll: we’ve both had the conversation of, you know, what, when do we feel like we would be out? Like we’ve, we’ve had that conversation and we both agree. Like when our families are, you know. At risk, right? Um, and so we both kind of know that limit, um, for each other.

Yep. Um, but I mean, the fact that that’s a risk is not for the faint of heart,

Monica Royer: right? No, my brother and I and my husband all [00:26:00] did it at the same time, and my husband had a really horrific experience. And like, I think Yeah, there’s a lot that, like, if it didn’t break us, I think made us stronger. But I’m surprised in retrospect that it didn’t break us, because it was like the, the level of stress across all three things that we were doing, yeah, was so significant.

But I sometimes think, like, geez, my parents didn’t deserve it. They didn’t sign up for this. Like, every day, they’re not like, yes, let’s walk through this door again. You know, we’ve had them endure, like, a lot of stress over time, for sure. That’s

Michelle Shetty: interesting. That you say it that way, that your parents didn’t sign up for this, even though I know your parents are so proud of you and wanted to support that journey, but yeah, but the same, your children, you know, they didn’t, they didn’t sign up for that.

And then where Susie and I, and where you were too at a point in your life where considering children dealing with infertility, the appointments that come along with that, trying to schedule that in. It’s just, [00:27:00] it can be overwhelming because

Suzie Caroll: everything is a high priority.

Monica Royer: Yes. Well, and that’s why I think I’ve loved getting to know you ladies and coming to the fits because I think there’s something about giving back to yourself.

Like, and I wonder how you guys do it because you’re like kind of constantly doing like that, like that’s my reprieve. And I feel like in disclosure, it’s like I’ve done injectables. I’ve done facials, like the whole thing. But the thing I love so much about you ladies is like two things from like a clinical perspective.

One, you’ll never do more than you think should be done, which is why I trusted you to begin with, and two, you’re like, it’s all about coming from within and having the right stuff. It’s not just about the moment that you’re in a clinic, and you’re like, okay, I’m doing XYZ. It’s like really about like holistically taking care of like your skin and yourself, and nobody’s gonna achieve that in like a single appointment, and I feel like you guys have stressed that so much.

Thank you. And I think that’s what’s made all the difference, and I think those are the things that like, I more live for when I’m like, oh, like that’s my reward to do like whatever it is [00:28:00] But given that that’s what you do for a living, and by the way, you say, like, I have a great business. I mean, your AOV is way better than mine.

I can promise you that. I was like, rethinking my entire business after coming to there, where I’m like, Oh, like, this is what I should be doing. Like you invest in one person and like, you’re, it’s a little, it’s a little different than like the hospital cuddle box. Let’s put it that way. I love the cuddle box.

I don’t know, we love the cuddle box. All different, all different businesses. Different, different economics behind What do you do to, like, refuel yourselves? Because, like, does it feel refueled when you’re doing things? Like, at the, I’m just assuming there’s, like, that’s, like, still working. I get,

Suzie Caroll: I get my own surgeries to my eyelids to help me make, this is, what, six days out.

Um, refueling ourselves. I think what’s crazy as, as providers. Because, because we’re founders, but we’re also providers, um, is we rarely get time to actually treat ourselves. Um, and we are both kind of on this, [00:29:00] wellness journey because, uh, that is something that we’ve been growing at the Fitz is, is our, our wellness practice, the peptides, the hormones, the weight loss medications.

And I think both of us are kind of starting to, the last three years have wreaked havoc on our brains and our bodies, not only being pregnant and going through fertility treatments, but also the stress of building the business. But, you know, this latter half of 2023 and definitely going into 2024, I think we both are being able to like, exhale a little bit and be able to focus on like our internal mental and physical health.

Um, with the help of what’s crazy is like the services that we have too. So, um, you’re working out a ton. I’m eating better. So what do you do to recharge?

Monica Royer: I sleep. You do, you do that a lot.

Michelle Shetty: Yeah, well, and I think Not a lot.

Suzie Caroll: I’m a sleeper.

Monica Royer: It’s important [00:30:00] because I think I’ve learned over time, and it’s like you, you, what, and Irene, who’s my, my executive coach, has said that like, Stress is almost like a muscle that you’re able to build in a sense that like now I can take it all the way up To here from a stress level and then like a few hours later I can like be down here But I have to force myself to be able to do it because like phone still dings late at night like other things were happening And I’m like now I brought myself back down Yeah, like I can’t go back up, but I think it’s really important that you can’t live here all day every day And so like whatever it is whether it’s sleep whether it’s whatever like you have to find something that takes your adrenaline from here To hear and it’s kind of scary.

We could have like this most stressful week and I could hit like Friday night I’m just like yeah, I can’t worry about this for the next like 24 hours because like like I’ve learned after 10 years, like stress is still going to be there on Monday. And maybe if there’s something I can do about it over the weekend, like I’m going to keep doing it, but I just can’t give everything the equal amount of worry.

Cause what I realized [00:31:00] after having a business is like, there’s, there is always something there’s literally like you hit and you’re just like, Oh, I’m good. And then, and there you are with like, whatever the new thing is, but that’s actually

Suzie Caroll: something I’ve had to work on too. And that was one of the hard conversations that Michelle and I had was, I was.

Like go, go, go, go, go. I, when I would text her and I’d want an answer and I’d have this idea and I’d want to implement it right away. And, you know, that’s not a healthy way to live. I was never not in the moment in the, in thinking about the business, um, as far as like the growth aspect and I mean, that’s

Monica Royer: good.

Suzie Caroll: But also

Michelle Shetty: it’s

Suzie Caroll: Everything in moderation. Everything in moderation. But also when you have another person on the other end of your phone who’s probably trying to enjoy some like family time You know for the 15 minutes

Monica Royer: before bedtime. It’s not always true. And I’m like the everything extremes person too.

So like I’m not [00:32:00] like if I do something Yeah, like I can’t moderate like anything. It’s hard.

Michelle Shetty: We lived, I think, up here for two years. I can feel it in my chest when I talk about it. Like, I can feel the tension right here. And, what’s interesting is when I get a whiff of it now, I, my tolerance for it is None.

I want to shut it down. And there was a couple of weeks ago, there were two days in a row that it was like one thing after the next, after the next, every time I had a patient out of my room, somebody else was coming in to tell me something that needed to be handled. And so I was back up here and I was so uncomfortable because I’m used to being able to regulate it and just like downgrade it after it hits.

And I fell up there again and I was like, whew,

Monica Royer: that was really bad. Right. But it’s familiar

Suzie Caroll: in such a bad, like.

Michelle Shetty: Yeah,

Monica Royer: but way yeah, well, and if you layer on motherhood to that for a minute, you know, right? Yeah, it’s like even today for like a second. I was like, I don’t [00:33:00] feel a hundred percent point You’re gonna feel a hundred percent today.

Today is the day today is the day that we’re gonna get through and I’m sure she’s fine Or whatever, but it’s like you’ve got like a million things going on and then it’s a call from the nurse Yeah, or you’ve got a million things going on and they need you for something, right? And that’s a priority where you’re just like hey, that’s my limit right like now She needs me to do something, or he needs me to do something, or whatever it is, and you’re like, I need to move to doing this, and I think those are the things that moms over index in so hard when you’re business over, and there’s great dad business owners that are probably doing the same thing too, but it’s like, as a mom, like, the buck is stopping with us.

And so, it’s hard to regulate all of those things because like your child is like the one thing that you can’t necessarily plan, you could plan the day, but like then something new happens and you’re just like, oh crap. And you

Michelle Shetty: know, you know when you snap at them or you aren’t giving them their full attention, your full attention because your mind is elsewhere, your mind’s on work.

Like, it’s a terrible feeling. And you, I [00:34:00] feel like we have to work really hard at like, okay, now I’m with my kids. I want to be present with them and they

Monica Royer: bring me that joy. Definitely and wait till I get older because like Bella’s kind of like seen all of this stuff now and so we’ll be Driving somewhere and she’ll, you know, I’m very flexible.

So something about, I learned about my personality through coaching, which is good, but it’s also bad because sometimes I have to check into my flexibility to be like, wait, am I being too flexible here or like, and so I’m very good with the flow. She’s like my husband, extremely structured. There’s like a checklist of homework where she literally is checking stuff off the complete opposite of me.

And so I’ll be like, Oh yeah, like my brother will call, go, we’ll stop by or whatever. And she’ll be like, mom. Your flexibility is like getting the best of you. Now, she’s like, it’s getting in the way of my structure. I’m feeling uncomfortable because I don’t have enough time to anticipate stuff. This is like a 12 year old.

That’s telling me kind of this stuff. And I’m just like, Oh my gosh, now all of these great things I’m learning are just biting me right back in the face here. Cause like, she’s now lecturing me on my personality and like the things that I have, like, we all need a Bella. Yeah. But I was like, Oh my gosh, it’d be so [00:35:00] cool to get our kids personality tested, which is where Irene, the coach that some of the testing started.

Cause it’s like those. So much of that is like ingrained in who we are and You don’t change that much from a kid in terms of like those some of those traits right when it comes

Suzie Caroll: to parenting, too I’ve I heard that Someone I don’t want to like break your heart because Bella is over 10 years old, but someone said you only have 10 years when you are the most important person in

Michelle Shetty: your kids life.

I can tell you it’s at least 12 or 13. But

Monica Royer: I feel like COVID had played a role in that. That’s true. And maybe it’s different with different kids too. Yeah.

Suzie Caroll: So it depends. But like you only have like a very short window of time where it’s like, you’re the most important. Part of your kid’s life. Otherwise it becomes friends and best friends and partners and homework.

And, you know, and, um, that like hit me because my boys are two and a half and I’ve got a nine month old. And, [00:36:00] um, but then it’s like, what, what’s the right answer when it comes between work and kids? Of course, it’s always going to be family on the, on the. Big picture, but you know, we’re working for the kids And so when you when it’s like six o’clock and you have to choose do I have to do this?

Do I have to attend to work or do I want to spend time with the kids? Like there’s never a right answer and as like moms, I think we’re constantly struggling

Monica Royer: with that One bit of good advice. I got I’m always struggling with that too And I bring this to him all the time. It’s like if I can just get like 30 minutes And that could be like 30.

Just like some time that finally becomes just about her. It’s helpful, because I feel like, to your point, sometimes, I mean, I’ll be on until like 7 o’clock and other things are happening and like I just can’t get off. Um, and then the other thing that always makes me feel better is like now in my 40s, I can’t like make a decision without my mom again.[00:37:00]

So then I’m like, Oh, this

Michelle Shetty: is going to come back.

Monica Royer: Yeah. Like I’m like, at some point, you know, like, I don’t know. So I agree. Like they, they get tired of you, but then I’m like, but I can’t even like, if I’m on a plane, I’m like, Hey mom, we’re about to take off. Hey mom, we’re landing. Oh, we just got to the hotel.

I was like, I check in with my mom, like 165 times a day too. So,

Suzie Caroll: but, and. What’s great about Bella’s age, too, is that she’s, uh, and, and even Ellie’s age, is, she’s, they’re at ages where you can say, you know, I’m, I’m not gonna sit down and play with you because I’m working so you

Monica Royer: can,

Suzie Caroll: for you. Yeah. And there’s a level of understanding there that, like, really is great.

Um.

Michelle Shetty: But you were saying, like, just 30 minutes. It’s interesting because even 10 minutes, right? If I just put my phone aside and I sit on the floor and I play with her for 10 minutes, just her and I. That, we feel so much more connected [00:38:00] than if I sort of sat on the couch with my computer and like kind of tried to engage with her and kind of tried to do work at the same time.

I don’t feel as engaged with her and she doesn’t feel that way either. So if you could just isolate it, even in small chunks. And the other part is having a partner that gets it right. And whether it’s your business partner or my husband, who’s also one of our business partners. Um. Susie gave me a necklace this year for Christmas that had two different sized circles that were, you are, yeah, two different sized circles that are like connected and the idea is we’re 50 50 partners but one, we’re never actually gonna be 50 50.

Our availability to each other, to the business, to our families, it’s never gonna be equal. One of us will always Likely be caring more than the other. Mm-Hmm. Or it might feel like it or it might feel like it. Yeah. But the point is like, we’re bound together. And, um, that was really a thoughtful gift because we have to say that at times to each other.

Mm-Hmm. , you [00:39:00] know, this fall when I was going through. The transfer and the miscarriage like Susie really carried a lot for me there because I was going through so much Emotionally and there have been equally other times when I feel like I’m carrying more. Yeah, we’re doing more but that’s why we’re successful Yeah, totally

Monica Royer: because we recognize it and I

Suzie Caroll: think any yeah any marriage it’s like that You know, someone said you’re always feeling like you’re doing more a hundred percent But the other person always

Monica Royer: feels that way too.

Definitely. So it’s like there’s Which is so interesting. Yeah. Oh my gosh, I think we just found our new monthly segment. Because this has been 45 minutes. And I can tell by my phone lighting up that it’s time. I’m just guessing. But we have to do this again. Yeah, I want to talk more. I feel like this is like the beginning of the conversation.

Me too. 100%. I would love to come back. Yeah, thank you ladies so much. I mean this is like magical and I feel like we’re just scratching the surface. Yeah, like

Michelle Shetty: I feel like I’m getting so much advice from you and I’m hearing things about Susie that I didn’t

Monica Royer: even know. At some point we could bring Brian into this and then it’ll [00:40:00] be a real party.

Michelle Shetty: Well when you, you know at um, the Monica and Annie event you had Susie told something to Irene that she’d

Suzie Caroll: never shared with me before, and she just met Irene that day. I’m obsessed

Michelle Shetty: with Irene.

Monica Royer: Oh my gosh, and Adam, who’s on the other side of the thing, he does Irene’s podcast too. So, oh, Irene is like a mic drop at every, like everything.

What does that mean? I mean, she’s young, she’s in like her early 50s, but somehow she’s like a thousand times more mature. She’s like in a different, a whole different league. She’s so wise. That’s

Michelle Shetty: how Bella’s gonna be.

Monica Royer: Alrighty. The executive coach. Yeah. Well, thank you both so much. Thanks for having us.

Thanks for having us. It was fun. And seriously, thank you, Adam. We have to do this again. This is like, I mean, I could, I’ve like

Michelle Shetty: literally hours.