BTM S1E8: Lisa Tickel
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Adam Baruh: [00:01:00] Welcome to Beyond the Microphone, a podcast about podcasters and the stories of how their shows came together grew, and what they discovered along the way. I’m your host, Adam Baru. So as we get into our interview today, I thought it would be really good to talk about vulnerability because. You know, a lot of you guys podcasters who are listening,
You got into this work in podcasting because you had a story to tell, and oftentimes that story like mine that I’m about to share, it’s not, it’s not a good story. It’s not a fun story. It’s, it’s a story. And I think that, you know, the powerful, you know, part of it is the vulnerability. I mean, when. You know, podcasting is such a really powerful and unique communication method, medium, whatever it may be.
Um, it’s so powerful because, you know, I find that the stories that people tell, the way that [00:02:00] they’re opening up and being authentic and being vulnerable, it’s pretty unique. Like you, you often don’t find it in other forms of broadcasting. Um, but something about podcasting, You know, it, it’s considered to be a safe space to, to be vulnerable, to tell, to tell a painful story.
And you know, the point is, is that by doing so, you know, we’re trying to help others, you know, through the power of our own experiences and our own stories. Um, good, bad, ugly, whatever the stories may be. You know, people listening will find connection. They will. You know, find relatability often when the stories themselves are really painful.
You can feel alone and you, and you know, for years suffer in this kind of silent suffering because you feel alone and you feel like it’s too, there’s too much shame wrapped into the sharing and the telling of the story. Um, [00:03:00] but really the healing power in it by being vulnerable and, and opening up, I mean, This is why I love being in the podcasting spaces.
Um, I mean, I got into it with my first podcast, the Change, you know, based on a really painful story that I had, that I had overcome and found my way through and via. And so I thought, you know, and this is not the first time I’ve told the story, and I’m gonna really just kind of briefly sum it up so we can get into our interview today, but, You know, I, I, I thought it might be pretty relevant to tell my story again, I’ve told it on other podcasts, but, um, you know, I, I think our guest here today is gonna relate to it, and probably many people in the audience have similar stories or experiences that kind of launched into their, you know, becoming a podcast host.
So this was a Friday night, back in early 2021, after about a year and a half of [00:04:00] suffering from. Extremely terrible anxiety attacks, which I first ever encountered for the very first time, starting in late 2019. So here I am, late 2019. I was 46 years old at the time. Just all of a sudden, you know, and I attribute a lot of it to the fact that, um, you know, I was 46 and it was like, I think my nervous system had just. Not been able to contain the narrative and it was manifesting as anxiety attacks. I, you know, I’m running a, an IT consulting company with 20 employees. My fourth kid was recently born and I’m really not sleeping and I’m over, you know, overworked and hence anxiety attacks. So that was late 2019. So now back to, you know, kind of early.
Getting into mid 2021. Here I am, it’s, it’s a Friday [00:05:00] night. I had just earlier in the day, had my second session with, um, an executive coach that I had recently hired by the name of Kristen Taylor, who’s my dear friend now. And it’s midnight and the house is quiet and everybody’s asleep. And I just turned off the blacklist.
No, this is not a story about Raymond Reddington. So I turn off the TV and it’s really quiet in my house and I. A memory from earlier in the day from my conversation with Kristen had kind of cropped back up. In my mind. It was a conversation about shame versus versus guilt. And I, when Kristen asked me earlier in the day I was talking, I had brought up, you know, how I had gotten divorced, this was several years earlier, but I had had a divorce and I have two older kids and I, I just.
I was telling Kristen how I was still feeling all these negative, you know, guilty emotions around the divorce and the impact I could see that that had on my older kids. And Kristen just asked a very simple question that [00:06:00] literally changed my life. Adam, do you think you feel shame or do you think you feel guilt? I don’t know, Kristen, what’s the difference? You know? And she explained it. So now it’s midnight later that day. And. I’m kind of remembering that earlier conversation, and I just kind of in my mind just voiced a question like, is there something I do feel shameful for in my life? And it was literally, as soon as I voiced that thought, my higher self spirit, whatever it may be, said he’s ready to process this.
And so immediately I flashed back to when I was six years old. And my parents had gotten recently divorced or split up. I don’t think they were divorced yet, but you know, my mom would hire this teenage babysitter boy to come over and watch me so she can go out and, you know, after two or three times of babysitting [00:07:00] me, he decided, oh, it would be fun to just lock this kid in my mom’s walk-in closet and I’ll invite all of my friends over and have a big party.
And so that’s what he did. I mean, he barricaded the door in my mom’s walk-in closet, barricaded me in there. It’s pitch black, dark. I’m six years old, terrified, terrorized. Okay. And, um, you know, I would be in there for, for hours and ultimately would get let out. And there, you know, he is got a bunch of friends over.
They’re all doing pretty hardcore drugs. I remember rubber hoses and needles, um, which I didn’t know at the time, but, You know, they were probably doing heroin, stuff like that, and they thought, you know, a couple of times after letting me out that it would be funny to, to molest me. So, um, while I never blocked out that memory, um, I never blocked it out.
I just never, I went about and really, honestly and weirdly never thought that it, [00:08:00] that it had any impact on my life. I don’t know why I had that belief system, but I. The belief system that was developed at that time was built around shame because as a six year old, I, and probably to just try to, you know, my, you know, early childhood psyche was, you know, trying to find a way to give me some level of power or, or authority versus helplessness in that, in that moment, like, I think a belief system was developed that I was, I caused it, it was my fault.
And that was the narrative that played out in the belief system my entire life. So going back to that Friday evening, once I literally had this revelation that changed my life, I mean, I realized right away that no, I was a victim, and that’s when my healing journey began, and my podcasting life grew out of that.
I mean, A couple months later, I decided to host a podcast. I never thought I was going to do that, [00:09:00] ever. Um, but again, going back to vulnerability, I definitely recognized that here I had, as a business leader, an opportunity to vulnerably and authentically tell my story openly and publicly in hopes that it, it would heal others and also kind of normalize the conversation around mental health.
And so, With that, um, let’s go ahead and introduce our guest here today. Her name is Lisa Tickle, and she is a childhood abuse survivor and host of the upcoming podcast, healing and Growing Hand in Hand. Hey, Lisa, welcome to be on the microphone.
Lisa Tickel: Well, thank you so much for inviting me. I’m excited.
Adam Baruh: Good. And you know, I don’t know a whole lot about your story, but I mean, just the fact that you, you know, you had a painful childhood that, um, you know, however much you want to get into it is completely up to you. But what I would like to understand is how [00:10:00] the knowledge of that, or the narrative and the belief system.
How that all culminated into ultimately finding your way into podcasting and, and wanting to, to host a podcast. And by doing so through vulnerability and your own authenticity, you know, find a way to help others who are suffering.
Lisa Tickel: Right. Well, I, I actually started my healing journey when I was 19 and I’m gonna be 60 this month. So it’s been a while. Um, thank you. Um, and so, you know, with that, um, there was.
Adam Baruh: was.
Lisa Tickel: There wasn’t much then to help people. Right. So it, it’s been a long journey and so much of, I think a bulk of my healing’s really been the last five or six years, especially over the last year.
And over the last year, I’ve been able to put the whole story together. And what came out of that, which I was told this for years, I even told this to myself was, [00:11:00] it wasn’t my fault. The childhood abuse wasn’t my fault. I knew it. In my head, but I didn’t know it in my heart, and I finally got that in my heart.
And so in all of this as well, I didn’t have a voice. I lost my voice very young. So I, I’ll tell a little bit about my story just so you have an overview of it. Um, I, I will be telling my entire story on my first episode, so you’ll hear more about it. I don’t get too much into the actual abuse itself. What I get into more is how it affected me and then how I heal.
And so my abuse started as far back as I can remember, and it was my parents and my brother, and it was physical, emotional, and verbal abuse. And so what happened is, is because it happened at such a young age, as far back as I can remember, I never had a safe place and I didn’t have, and anytime I was vulnerable, as you were mentioning, you brought up so many good points in your, in your story.[00:12:00]
Um, The vulnerability would be used against me. It would be used as a, you know, something to take advantage of really. And so, um, so with that of course comes the shame, like you mentioned and the shame. And I love that you mentioned the difference between shame and guilt. And in my opinion, and this is just my opinion, there’s no good thing in shame and anybody who’s had any kind of abuse carries that.
And I carried that for years and I carried for years. Living in survival mode. Living in survival mode until about the last five or six years. And so, like I said, my, my, my healing journey started at 19 and over the last year. What has come together is really the whole story of my parents. ’cause, you know, abuse is usually generational.
It’s usually carried on. And so learning more about their background and what happened with them. It helps me understand my journey and helps me [00:13:00] forgive them and work through that. That’s been huge. That’s been really huge. I learned, I knew a lot about my dad. I knew nothing about my mom and I learned over the last two years and it’s been really interesting.
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Lisa Tickel: I want to go back to something that you said that I’m curious about the, the story of how this kind of manifested. So you, you mentioned that you knew [00:15:00] in your head, but not in your heart. Um, That you were not to blame for what happened. Tell us more about that journey. Like what kind of led to your revelation that, like, where you, you’ve now are accepting this into your heart that you were not to blame for what happened?
You know, it was really interesting. It actually happened over the last six months really. And, um, it, it happened in therapy. So I am doing E M D R. Um, and in that, what the biggest thing for me, like I said earlier, I didn’t have a voice and so, What I was doing, I was going back to some of these moments where I felt completely powerless, right?
Completely powerless. And you know, you so often you hear about people, you know, you need to address the little girl and you or the little boy in you and, and help them. And that’s exactly what I did. I, I came [00:16:00] alongside little Lisa and spoke on her behalf. And it was the first person in her life that really stood up for her. And she was completely safe. And so the first time I experienced that in my therapy, it was really empowering. And it was probably the second or third time that we went into it, and I, you know, stood up for Little Lisa that I just felt in my heart. I, it, it, it, it like came together and I really understood, oh, this really isn’t my fault.
This really because Big Lisa had a conversation with the ab abusers. And it wasn’t, uh, you did. It wasn’t that it was having a conversation and really having a voice and not being angry. There were no tears. It was power behind my voice.
Adam Baruh: I, I love that. And E M D R for those of you, um, We kind of picked up on that acronym. [00:17:00] Um, it’s basically a form of trauma therapy that also I utilized, um, as I was kind of working through my stuff. And, you know, I, it’s a lot of like, you kind of follow, you know, your finger or there’s tapping techniques, there’s some different techniques, but it’s a way to kind of like retrain your nervous system, um, in dealing with stored trauma and, uh, You know, actually something, and I’m really happy that, that we’re kind of in this day and age where you are starting to see really well-known celebrities and people kind of like talking about their own stories.
And I think just, again, that’s going back to vulnerability and the power of, of podcasting in this form of a medium. It’s like, It’s a way to kind of collectively like share in each other’s experiences to find, you know, our own inclusion and, and to really, you know, stop feeling so alone. And so, prince Harry, um, you know, I forget the name of his series with his wife, but, uh, [00:18:00] he was talking about, you know, as a young child, shortly after his mother, you know, died.
I believe that was in, in France that, uh, where her car accident was Princess Diana. And so he couldn’t go, he couldn’t travel to Paris anymore without being triggered. And, um, I think as an adult he found his way to E M D R and uh, and so he, he had the benefit of, of learning E M D R techniques. And so he would be flying now into, into Paris subsequently and, and using E M D R to.
Uh, to basically have the trigger to stop the trigger. Um, and it was very effective. And just again, by him kind of sharing vulnerably, you know, his story and his experience, it helps us all, nor it normalizes it and it really helps us all kind of, uh, Have a shared knowledge that, you know, we all are suffering from something one way or another, whether it’s, you know, [00:19:00] something current, something stored from the past.
But, you know, that’s it. I mean, especially through the pandemic. I mean, we all kind of suffered through a global traumatic experience. And, um, you know, you said something else that, uh, I thought was, was very fascinating and I think is a very kind of, Comparison with where we’re at here in mid 2023, and that’s just the idea of vulnerability.
Um, so, you know, it was hard for me being, I don’t know, I’ll just say in my own opinion, being a man, you know, kind of work, you know, being a Gen Xer and kind of coming up in this, in the IT industry and my career. And it just, it wasn’t normal to talk vulnerably about painful things. And, you know, as I became the c e O of my company, You know, I had a lot of imposter syndrome.
I, I definitely, you know, to show vulnerability as a business leader is to show weakness or so the narrative went and, you know, [00:20:00] I, I just, it wasn’t the right time. And, you know, one thing I’m grateful to the pandemic for is I do think it kind of, you know, very. Much in the popular culture, you know, with, with people talking about mental health now it’s become something that we can discuss.
So, you know, tell me a little bit from your perspective, you know, you have this kind of notion that, you know, with vulnerability that, um, that there’s weakness there. That, uh, it’s, it’s a negative thing to be vulnerable. Like, what’s that journey been like for you to get to the point here today where vulnerability perhaps is your superpower?
Lisa Tickel: Y you know, that’s, that’s a really good point and I got a lot of thoughts going through my head, but one of them is that, um, You know, I used to care so much about what everybody thought, because again, going back to the abuse, I was worried about how I looked because it could be used against me. And again, vulnerability was used against me.
And it’s exhausting. [00:21:00] It is absolutely exhausting to hold that up and to try to hold up the facade that, no, everything is just fine. I’m great, you know? And now, What I also know what I learned, one of the things, I’ll go back on real quick, is when I, I had done a workshop for childhood abuse healing. It was called Childhood Abuse Healing Workshop for Women.
And in there, um, the very first night we would have all the women share one story, the first story that comes to their mind. And, um, in that there was just so much that would come from that. Number one, it would create a connection among the women because you’d be surprised how many women ne never shared their story.
You know, or a little bit, um, so it can, it created a connection and it broke that lie of, Ooh, I’m all alone in this. All of a sudden it’s like, oh, you, you dealt with that too. So there was a connection, there was a bond and there was a vulnerability. Right? And so, That to me is what, where I [00:22:00] began to see healing in people and as well as in myself, is when I finally put down the charades.
I call ’em, and I just, you know what, first of all, people don’t have the right to make fun of me anymore either, right? So I, I’m self-empowered, and so I know in that vulnerable moment is where healing can begin or it can grow it. It doesn’t mean it’s not uncomfortable, it doesn’t mean that when I’m in that vulnerable moment, when I’m sharing something, Really, you know, scary for me.
It doesn’t mean that I’m not shaking and I’m, you know, trembling, but I’m gonna say it because I know there’s power in that. And there is also power when you expose shame, you get your power back when you speak out something that is causing shame in you, which is also vulnerable, right? Um, it disempowers that shame,
Adam Baruh: Yeah. And it’s really a belief system. And it’s a narrative. And that’s that. That’s really all that is because you know, for me, It, it did go from my [00:23:00] kryptonite to becoming my superpower. And probably for you too. And, and for others. I mean, I, I think that’s, you know, when you get to the point, especially here now and where we’re at in 2023, it’s just, I, I think that when we can come together and find how much we are actually alike, I mean it’s really, there’s so much division right now and, um, that’s been just.
Pervasive the last several years and you know, I think we forget how similar actually we all are. How, you know, with through empathy we can kind of put ourselves in somebody else’s shoes and, and think, you know what? Like, well here’s, here’s a really brief story, okay? So, My wife and I used to be wedding photographers.
Okay. And I remember this one wedding, which we were super excited about. I mean, this couple, we kind of fell in love with this couple and we were actually hanging out with this couple and, you know, becoming friends with them. And then, you know, we get to the wedding [00:24:00] and it was like a beautiful venue and it was a beautiful day.
And, but we had this wedding planner. Who, look, I get the wedding planner’s perspective. Like they’re also, they also have a responsibility to make sure the day goes well, and they have their own way of thinking and experience on, on how that’s supposed to be. Right. And, you know, I’ll just make this statement, you know, for, for people in the wedding industry, um, you know, give the wedding planners their space because, you know, they, they, it’s a stressful day for everybody.
But long story short, You know, this wedding planner was, was getting really like on a harassment level with my wife and I, who, look, we’ve, we had like many years of experience, we also knew what we needed to do to make the day go well. Um, but this wedding planner was like literally relentless on top of us.
I mean, to the point where we couldn’t even sit down and or use the bathroom or like, like eat. Um, because she was just like, anytime we were not [00:25:00] photographing, we were like, you know, avoiding our clients anyway. So like there was, it got confrontational, you know, we kept it private, but like we, we had to tell the wedding planner she needed to back off.
Right. So we can do our job. And anyway, at the end of the evening, you know, often when everything, everything’s wrapped up, you know, that’s the time my wife and I would usually kind of sit back, maybe have a glass of wine. And So the wedding planner, yeah, so the wedding planner came around and, and you know, she sat with us and first thing is she apologized to us.
Um, You know, she said, I’m so sorry. I just really been stressed out all day and I know I wasn’t really kind of acting myself and I know you guys were doing your job. You know, my, my son’s going through open heart surgery tomorrow, and I, I can’t deal with it. And it’s like, you know, that the power of empathy in that moment for her to vulnerably share what she was dealing with.
It really, like the first thing that I thought about was [00:26:00] like, You know how much I kind of need to check in with myself from time to time because I, you know, I was getting pissed off and, you know, mad at her. But, you know, she shared her story. She shared, she vulnerably opened up and shared with us what was going on, and, and, and then, you know, we had a great conversation after that.
Lisa Tickel: Yeah. You never know what someone else is going through,
Adam Baruh: You never know.
Lisa Tickel: a
Adam Baruh: never know.
Lisa Tickel: there’s a really powerful video on my website, healing and Growing Hand in Hand,, that talks about this very thing. It is a powerful video that I posted on my Facebook. I don’t know. 10 plus years ago, and it went around the world.
It was powerful and it speaks on that very thing.
Adam Baruh: so let’s go back to, yeah, kind of like this work now that you, you know, you mentioned you’ve been on a healing journey since 19, but it was really only this year that everything kind of started to. Align and make sense. Um, you know, let’s go back there to, to [00:27:00] now this transition. I don’t, I’m, well, first of all, what were you doing?
Like what do you do, kind of, you know, in your normal life outside of, of this now work that you’re gonna be embarking on, that is your healing journey for others like, You know what, tell us about that transition from whatever you’ve been doing to now making, you know, having this calling to podcasting and, and healing work.
Like, tell me a little bit about that journey.
Lisa Tickel: Well, I’ll tell you, and I think you’re gonna agree with this, that to me the most important thing in order to really begin your healing journey is self-awareness. Right? Yeah. And so that has been the biggest key for me, um, is, is just the self-awareness. Like for triggers for instance, you know, I’m aware of now when I’m triggered and I understand it and I can diffuse it, right?
And so, You know, so much of that is I try to keep present. I try to keep, you know, slow down. ’cause I tend to move really [00:28:00] fast and just be self-aware and take a deep breath. And I, I, you know, I, I have such a different view on life than I used to and so much more freedom in me and joy and peace and.
I do everything I can to protect it, which means I’m careful about the things I listen to. I’m careful about the things I talk about. I do my meditation. I listen to good music. I dance, you know, I do a lot of things that I didn’t do. I used to do a lot of self-medicating with food or with just shutting down, right, closing down, and now.
Because the journey I’ve also been on is discovering myself. ’cause I didn’t know who I was. And so I’ve been on that journey and so I’m I, I stretch myself. I make myself do stuff that I probably wouldn’t normally do and get uncomfortable. And it’s not that uncomfortable actually, when you finally push yourself to do something, you know, it’s [00:29:00] not that hard.
Adam Baruh: I, I couldn’t agree more. And that echoes very much my journey. And I, in fact, I listen to this podcast. I haven’t in a while, but I, I always, when I listen to it, I, I love it. It’s, um, I forget the name of it. Um, I think it’s called Awakening OD by Jessa Reed. And, you know, she’s a comedian, but she also is very vulnerable and open with her own story.
Um, And, you know, so she talks about a lot of the healing stuff. And I remember when I started my healing work, it took a while. I would say it took a good two, one and a half to two years to really, to really kind of get to the place where I am now. Where, um, I have a, you know, I can harness that self-awareness and be in control of it too, because, you know, I guess what took a long time after I started my healing journey is not really knowing.
How to like communicate to like my wife or others. Like, I need my space right now and I need, I need to like, take care of my mental [00:30:00] health right now. I know how to have that conversation. But it was like, you know, for the, for that period where I was really trying to figure it all out, I did become very overprotective of myself.
Like, ’cause I’m like, well, I, you know, I know my journey that I’m on and nobody can touch it now. Because it’s, it’s, for me, it’s beautiful. It’s like, but anyway, um, getting back to the Jessa Reed thing, I remember one of the challenges that she put out there to her audience was like, Hey, in, in terms of like looking at like what fills your cup or recharges your battery, sit down with a journal.
I challenge everybody to do this. Sit down with a journal and a pen and write down five things that fill your cup. So let me ask you, Lisa, if you, if I put you on that challenge right now to sit down with your journal and write down five things that, that recharge Lisa and fill your cup, could you [00:31:00] very quickly name those things compared to maybe a year ago?
Would you have been able to do that?
Lisa Tickel: Mm-hmm. Oh yeah. No, a year ago. Because like you said, the self-awareness, you know, of understanding like, It, it was really interesting when you’re saying that like you didn’t know how to articulate to your family or to your wife, you know, you needed that time, and I totally can relate to that. ’cause your head starts spinning and you just, you, you get anxious, right?
And you, and you’re like, I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t know. And now it’s like, oh, oh no. Now I know what it is. Right? And so, yeah, I could definitely come up with off the top of my head, you know, spending time with my family that rejuvenates me, my grandchildren, oh, you know, spending time by myself.
Rejuvenates me, you know, dancing, I love dancing and it gets all that stuff outta you too, you know? So yeah, I could definitely come up with I where before, no, it certainly wouldn’t be the same answers.
Adam Baruh: Yeah. I remember like when I, so [00:32:00] when I actually did that challenge, it was, Kind of like we were in Cape Cod where my wife’s parents live, and, and this was a day, there was a bunch of people coming over and it was gonna be a fun day. And the weather was nice, and I had built up some resentment, um, because I, I still wasn’t, I still hadn’t gotten to the point where I was an effective communicator.
Um, and so things would build up and I build resentment. And I, um, I had been kind of like watching my kids a lot over this vacation. And, you know, I just wasn’t talking about. To my wife, like what my, also about what my needs were. And I remember this kind of blew up in, in kind of like an argument and I was just like, look, I’m gonna the beach.
I’ll see you guys later. You know? And, and so I got to the beach and I was listening to this Jessa Reed and anyway, I kind of sat down after she put that challenge out there. I couldn’t think of a single thing. It took me a long time
Lisa Tickel: Mm-hmm.
Adam Baruh: to think about what does refill my cup, because I was so, Like, because I had this [00:33:00] narrative of negative self-talk and shame, um, I became a people pleaser and my, you know, I’ve been a father since, you know, I was 26 years old, so my oldest is now almost 24.
And, um, You know, everything in my life has been dedicated to everybody else. And so where did that leave me? It left me with not knowing what made me happy. Right. So, fortunately, you know, through things like mindfulness, which it sounds like a lot of what you’re describing with the self-awareness, like, you know, can be wrapped up just with this concept of mindfulness and it’s really, you know, mindfulness, self-awareness, whatever you call it.
There’s so much powerful, like, you know, perspective when it comes to just looking within and kind of becoming very present in the moment where you can identify the triggers because they were happening in me for 46 years, you know, or [00:34:00] you know, I was a six year old, so 40 years up to the point where, you know, now I’m having these anxiety attacks and at the time not knowing at all why.
Lisa Tickel: Right.
Adam Baruh: I mean, if I look back now, I’m like, duh. Like I had a traumatic experience as a six year old getting locked in a dark closet for hours at a time. Now I’m having claustrophobic anxiety attacks. Duh. I don’t know why I couldn’t. It took me to being 46 years old to figure out, you know, where those anxiety attacks were coming from.
And then, oh yeah. Now this other thing, a belief system around shame. Okay. So what, what are some of the mindfulness techniques, if you’ve used any? Um, I, you know, for me it was like, Tara Brock’s rain method was a really useful tool, but are there tools, um, or, or things that you could speak of that ha you know, you go back to, um, in those moments that kind of bring you back to self-awareness?
Lisa Tickel: Yeah. Uh, I, I, breathing is a big thing for me. Breathing and slowing down. And, and what came to [00:35:00] mind is, is when I’m triggered. And you, you touched on that, right? And so you didn’t, you didn’t know for 40 years why you were being triggered. And, and same here. And I didn’t understand triggers and um, I just, a few weeks ago, just a couple weeks ago, um, we were out of town and I got triggered and it was so interesting ’cause it was the first time really that I slowed way down, took a deep breath.
And analyzed what was happening as it was happening, and it, I, it made no sense. The things that were going through my mind, it made no sense. The things that were coming outta my mouth, and as it’s coming outta my mouth, I’m thinking. What are you saying? What are you thinking? Right? And then I realized, oh, I’m triggered.
I’m triggered, I’m triggered. And I turned to my husband. ’cause I’m saying all this stuff to him. Right? And he is one of my safe places for sure. Probably one of my first safe places. And so I’m saying this stuff, but it’s, you know, there’s shame as I’m saying this stuff, right? ’cause I’m thinking this doesn’t feel like me and I just. I stopped and I looked at him, I said, I am [00:36:00] clearly being triggered, clearly. ’cause this makes no sense. That’s going through my mind and it makes no sense what I’m saying to you. And he just smiled at me, you know? And I said, you know what, we’re not gonna do that thing that I keep saying we’re gonna do.
We’re gonna do something different that’s healthier. And so for me, the self-awareness and when I, I realized too, I have anxiety, right? Of course I do. I didn’t know it for years. Breathing helps me ’cause it helps me slow down ’cause I tend to move too fast and so the breathing, ’cause I have to focus on my breathing and I have to slow myself down so that I can sort it out and make the right choice or make a better choice than what I would when I’m upset or triggered or whatever it is.
Adam Baruh: You know, I’m hoping that kind of, and I, and I, I really have a lot of optimism for it because I just am in love with. Millennials and Gen Z and, and kind of a lot of what those generations are bringing to the forefront of like what’s important and you know, so they’re [00:37:00] all of, in my experience and my perception, I think those younger generations are really like, they get it.
I mean, I think they, you know, partly because like, as they were growing up, like getting back to slowing down thing, like. As a society, you know, we’ve been living too long with this fast pace. Gotta do, gotta achieve, gotta knock things off my task list. And, and you get to a point where that bubbles up to the point where your nervous system can’t take it anymore and it will culminate in anxiety attacks or triggers or, or whatever.
But what I, what I see happening with the younger generations is definitely the, the, the dialogue around mental health and people’s mental health needs. Um, you know, the. Identification that I’ve seen and it’s, you know, the great resignation I think was something that encapsulated this where, you know, people in their work lives said, you know, I’m fed up with this grind and I’m going to, you know, I’m gonna do the [00:38:00] work ’cause I need a paycheck and I’m gonna make sure that, you know, I’m doing work that’s fulfilling, but I’m also gonna live this life that, that fulfills me.
And so, you know, They, I think what I see is just an appreciation for, you know, road tripping or spending time with friends and anyway, so I, it, it gives me a lot of it exp and it gives me a lot of optimism for the future and, and my younger kids and, and, you know, hoping that they’re not gonna, they won’t even know.
Or perhaps they’ll read about how there used to be this like belief system around just work, work, work, do, do, do. But you know, that, you know, hopefully gets to a point where that’s all in the past now. So, you know, as we kind of start to get into a close here today, couple of questions. So since you’re not podcasting yet, I normally ask two questions to everybody, but I’ll kind of change up the first one.
So, you know, I’ll, I guess I’ll ask this way. As you’ve been working to take this idea of a podcast [00:39:00] from concept to reality, and you’re kind of learning the inner workings of just being a podcaster and what that all encompasses, what are some of the discoveries that you’ve made about podcasting that you find to be striking or relevant, um, in your journey?
Lisa Tickel: For the number one is having a voice. I didn’t have a voice. I didn’t have a voice all my life, and it would get, my voice would literally get stuck. And so having a voice is huge for me. Um, and the ability to. Uh, as I put it, shorten other people’s pain if I can help them shorten their pain. Um, and it’s just been, it’s been exciting.
It’s been really exciting. Um, yeah, I don’t know if I really answered your question. Did I
Adam Baruh: No, that you did. You did.
Lisa Tickel: I did. Okay.
Adam Baruh: So, so there’s a part two to this question and it’s definitely, so [00:40:00] I think, you know, with part one, you already kind of went inward. Let’s go a little deeper now. In terms of your, thus far, just, you know, going from, you know, where you were before to this idea of wanting to become a podcast host, to use your story and your experience and your voice as you just mentioned, to try to help others.
What discoveries have you made personally about yourself that, that maybe you weren’t aware about before that, that now you know about?
Lisa Tickel: Ooh, that’s a good question. ’cause there’s been so many discoveries over the last year. Um, oh, that’s a good question. There’s been a few, um, that I’m stronger than I thought I was. I always knew that I was strong, but knowing how strong I am that I am sharing my [00:41:00] story, that I’m, I’m willing to be vulnerable because that’s new to me as far as I always thought I was an open book, but I, I’m realizing now and, and doing my research and doing my, my podcast that I wasn’t, I was very quiet.
I was very, I, I didn’t share my story. I had a, a best friend who’s been here visiting, and she’s known me since I was 15. So she’s been around, right? And I asked her, I said, Theresa did, did I ever share my story? And she said, no, you never shared your story. You never share. I go, she said she knew something was going on and she witnessed some of it, but she said, no, you never shared your story.
And so now being vulnerable is okay. It really is.
Adam Baruh: Yeah, those are. Beautiful words to close with and I couldn’t agree more. And you know, I think very much I’m thankful and grateful for you for being on here today and you know, [00:42:00] for people that are using the power of podcasting and, and for being vulnerable, um, To really help others. It’s, you know, just to see, to see how podcasting can be used as this platform to help others.
It’s, for me, it’s, it’s been a, it’s been an honor to be on this journey and it’s an honor to, to be a part of, you know, seeing others that are also doing the work to help others. So, thanks for being here today, Lisa. Thank
Lisa Tickel: Thank you, Adam, for letting me have a voice here as well. I really appreciate it.
Adam Baruh: Lisa Tickle is a childhood abuse survivor who’s been on her healing journey since she was 19.
She’s had the privilege of co-facilitating a workshop for women healing from their childhood abuse. She’s the host of the upcoming podcast, healing and Growing Hand in Hand where she will share her story to help give hope to others suffering from abuse and trauma. The podcast will include experts and provide valuable tips and tools for healing and growing.
If [00:43:00] you’re enjoying beyond the microphone, please subscribe on Apple Podcasts or wherever you’re listening, as well as to our YouTube channel. You can find links to all of these in our episode show notes. If you’re looking for help and guidance in your own podcasting journey, I’d love to help out. And give you a voice where you can find direction, and you know, basically create that format for getting your story out there.
So if you have passion and purpose that are behind your own podcasting journey, come find me on eiq media, and I’d love to help you take that passion and purpose in podcasting to the next level. Thank you all for listening, and we’ll see you next time on Beyond the Microphone.
EIQ Media: Beyond The microphone is produced and distributed by E I Q, media Group L L C. Elevate your Emotional IQ with podcasts and content focused on entrepreneurship, overcoming adversity, stories of emotional courage, women’s health, aging, and more.