Christina Brinkley: [00:00:00] I find past life healings to be so amazing and What I often suggest to people is first when they’re coming up against something in their lives that doesn’t quite make sense. First, you want to work on the emotional layer around it, and then you can start seeing if there’s any patterns in your life. Maybe there’s something you learned in your childhood. Maybe there’s something that was passed down from your ancestors
Kristin Taylor: Hello, in today’s episode I am so excited to bring to you, to me, to us, Christina Brinkley. Christina Brinkley has been on a couple of times before and I just absolutely love her and her talents and her gifts are extraordinary and for me, just collectively what the doctor ordered. And speaking of what the doctor ordered, she volunteered and [00:01:00] I happily accepted, um, she graciously volunteered to do a soul clearing.
Kristin Taylor: She works with Subtle energy and she offered to do this to me for me and today that’s what we’re going to talk about So if this doesn’t quite make sense yet Hang tight. We’re gonna explain she’s going to explain what this is what this means But without further ado knowing more details to come welcome back Christina.
Christina Brinkley: Hi. Thank you for having me.
Kristin Taylor: It’s such a pleasure. It’s such a pleasure. So if You would can you explain a little bit what you offered to do for me and that’ll get the ball rolling
Christina Brinkley: Yeah, absolutely. So if you listened to the last podcast that we had recorded together, um, you had mentioned we were talking about past lives. I do, um, in my healing work, I do a variety of type of healings. I do [00:02:00] ancestral. I do inner child. Um, I work with the shadow. I work with all, all types of of our, um, awareness to help break up patterns and bring people into their highest path. And so one of the things that I was, um, wanting to talk about was just focusing on past lives and how integrating aspects of your past life into, um, when your soul splits, sometimes your soul can split or fragment off and get stuck in a past life. And then that piece of you is Looping in an experience and if you are sensitive enough, you might be feeling that experience and not understand why.
So if you had a traumatic experience in a past life and you’re feeling it in this life, but you, there’s no reason for you to feel it. [00:03:00] And you brought up how sometimes or one day you were driving across a bridge. And you suddenly felt terrified, afraid, I’m not
Kristin Taylor: biggest panic attack of my life in 2000 and it has stayed with me ever since and I’ve gone through EMDR, I’ve gone through counseling, I’ve even had psychics tell me, you know, that I’ve had past lives on a bridge and it’s extended on to driving on the highway feeling the sense of oh my gosh if I can’t get off and what if I have a panic attack and it’s just been a real source of suffering.
And what’s so interesting is, um, in interviewing people and reading about people and following people, these past life traumas really are the source that, unless it’s cleared, we could do all the psychotherapy in the world, but it’s not really touching that loop you’re talking about.
Christina Brinkley: Yes, I, I find past life healings to be so amazing and What I often [00:04:00]suggest to people is first when they’re coming up against something in their lives that doesn’t quite make sense. First, you want to work on the emotional layer around it, and then you can start seeing if there’s any patterns in your life.
Maybe there’s something you learned in your childhood. Maybe there’s something that was passed down from your ancestors. But to me, like, the kind of thing you look at when nothing else seems to be working is the past life. Like that’s It tends to be where something is often hidden and, um, and when it’s something so sudden that doesn’t make any sense, like just one day driving over a bridge and then not being able to do it again, um, or comfortably doing it
Kristin Taylor: That’s right, because I’ve done it again. It’s just
Christina Brinkley: yeah, just suffering
Kristin Taylor: Mm hmm.
Christina Brinkley: it.
I think that to me was like, as soon as I heard you say that, I was like, oh, I’m very curious if there’s some. You know, there’s more to your, that’s like a pat, that to me [00:05:00] reads as like a past life pattern. Um, now everything, nothing’s ever super clean cut. I’m sure there’s aspects of this past life pattern that has been sort of entangled with something maybe your parents said while you were a child driving over a bridge.
Or, you know, there’s like things that we collect. So it’s not like, it’s not ever going to be like this is a thing, this is the one thing. There’s too many, there’s too many intricate parts, there’s too many revolving pieces for it to ever be that clean. But, if it’s a significant enough piece, if you go back to that moment in your past life and you start to integrate it, you can heal that part of yourself that is, that’s tapping into that panic, to that, that fear.
And then you can work from that point to kind of… Unweave the trauma that you’ve been holding on to from that point, and especially, let’s say, [00:06:00] let’s say the trauma began in 2000. That’s still 23 years of holding on to this panic, um, that you’ve probably accumulated your own stuff
Kristin Taylor: That’s exactly right. That’s exactly right. I so resonate with that. It feels like to me in my experience, in my intuition, it’s all of these different variables. Right? So I look at what was going on in my life in 2000 and just, I was, I don’t want to get into the details, but there was a lot that fell out of control and a lot of unprocessed grief and fear that I was holding.
And then situationally with my nervous system being so dysregulated, that was one variable as well as the variable of my own moments and episodes of trauma from my childhood and the way that I moved through the world. You’re talking about your son being sensitive. I’m super sensitive. And then if I’m starting to tackle those things, but there also is this variable of the past life that is an integral part of it that is also activated, but I’m not addressing [00:07:00] it.
This just feels like such an important course to investigate and to clear. So, so folks, what happened was she offered, because of this, to do this. Do you call it a soul journey, soul clearing, a past life? Like, tell me what the nomenclature is.
Christina Brinkley: So what I offer, I call it a soul journey. Um, I go in and I have no idea what’s going to happen when we go in. So what I do is I call in your spirit, um, to meet me in a very sacred space. It’s like, it’s like being in meditation and we, um, and this is all in my mind’s eyes. So I close my eyes and I call in your spirit and I can see us and it plays out in my head like a movie.
And so. For those listening, this is what I offered. Um, so I record, because it’s happening like a movie, I have to re I record everything I see. And, um, and then when I’m done, I send the [00:08:00]recording. Um, to the person I’m working on, so that they can listen back. Now, um, it’s, it can sometimes be a little confusing until you experience it, and then you’re like, Oh, this makes perfect sense, and this, you know, everyone seems to really love this process, um, once they receive it.
But, what I do is I invite your spirit in, and we, I clear your field, so we’re kind of on neutral ground, and then I ask for whatever is that we’re trying to journey about. And for you, we wanted to go back and see if there were anything, and I focus on Specifically guiding us towards past lives, because we had talked about it.
Now, there’s a world where we could go back again and again and check other aspects of it. Maybe your inner child, maybe any ancestral stuff. But we focused on past life, so I… guided us, I guide, or I suggested to our [00:09:00] guides that we move towards anything in the past life that would be connected to this panic that you’re feeling going over a bridge.
And that’s when, um, I start seeing the images. So, I was pulled into, um, two past lives.
Kristin Taylor: Mm hmm.
Christina Brinkley: Um, and, um, and the way that they happen is I, I start seeing, like, like a movie.
Kristin Taylor: Real. Yeah. Like a movie reel.
Christina Brinkley: out in my head, and I’m describing it to you as it’s happening.
Kristin Taylor: Right. So, so yes, as you’re listening, um, I knew that she was going to do it at some point yesterday, but I didn’t know when. It wasn’t like she was doing it and I felt it. Um, she was talking to my guides and to my subconscious, and she sends me the message over. She was Over WhatsApp and she’s explaining what she has seen.
So I, what I really appreciated was like, okay, when you listen, don’t drive. Maybe do the dishes, [00:10:00] clean your house, do something so that you know, you’re not necessarily falling asleep, which is okay too. But, um, but for me, I was just lying in bed and I was tired, which is actually a, a good thing. And I’m listening to you recount these two past lives.
One is of a woman, and then the second one was of a man. And so, the woman, I’ll just do the high level and then maybe I have some questions.
Christina Brinkley: Yeah.
Kristin Taylor: What I heard you say was, I’m not necessarily seeing you on a bridge. I’m seeing you from a vantage point where you were not looking out my eyes, but you can see that I’m standing next to someone and a dam has broken.
And my children and my husband, almost like I think you said, it’s almost like a tsunami. We’re just swallowed up by this wall of water, this tsunami, and I’m watching the people I love the most die in front of me. And I collapsed to my [00:11:00] knees and the woman or the woman, the person next to me isn’t getting what is happening or what I’m seeing.
And I’m so enveloped in just agony, anguish, and the person is like, no, no, no, it’s fine. It’s fine. Sort of denying it.
Christina Brinkley: Yeah. She did not realize She thought You just knew your family was there, but she She saw what was happening, but she didn’t understand why you would think your family was there. And So I don’t, I don’t know the whole background to what led up to that point, but there was a reasoning why it wouldn’t quite make sense for your family to be on there, but you knew.
Like there was like a maternal instinct of like, like you hear about where like some, something will happen and someone will be like, oh my gosh, like my, you know, Like, there’s something happens on a plane and, and that, and someone’s like, Uh, I, I, I, [00:12:00] someone’s, I know someone on the plane, but they didn’t know for sure,
Kristin Taylor: yeah, I do, I
Christina Brinkley: when you, when you’ve had that feeling, but you don’t know, and that’s what you were feeling, like you just knew. And you were so connected, and it was just an instant feeling of like, And, and, and the, and the, and really deep, deep grief of like, I’m never going to see you again. Like it was just, you could just, that was just the, I didn’t get to say goodbye.
It was just, it was, you know, deeply sad. I oftentimes, Unfortunately, when, when we do these past lives, you know, most of the past lives that we’re, I’m going back to are not like, I’m sure everyone has lived really amazing, beautiful, fabulous past lives, but that’s not the ones I’m going to. I’m going to the ones with heartache and trauma and, and maybe shame and,
Kristin Taylor: mm hmm,
Christina Brinkley: stickiness and that kind of stuff because that’s the thing that we need to pull you back from.
We need to, we need to unhook your [00:13:00] soul because it was so deeply traumatizing that experience for you in that life that you fragmented off and a piece of you stayed there like unwilling to accept what was happening and stayed on watching that scene over and over and over again. so, when you describe the way you felt in 2000, around the time that the symptoms showed up for you, you know, it sounds to me like you, there was a perfect alignment to open up a portal into your past life, because you were already tapping into some grief, you were already
Kristin Taylor: mm hmm.
Christina Brinkley: some big emotions that felt maybe overwhelming at times, and so you were able to um, when we, when our, when It’s almost like your, our boundaries can collapse at times, and that’s when other time, they call it like other [00:14:00] timelines, so that a past life is another timeline.
That’s when our other timelines start seeping into this timeline. And so it can get a little, um, uh, messy. It starts to, you know, know what’s… What’s happening in this life and what’s happening in other lifetimes. And so that’s why we have to really work on strengthening our boundaries. But when this happens, the best thing to do is call that piece of you back home.
And that’s what we did. So in this, once we witnessed and allowed her space to grieve, Um, we offered that version of you a healing. And we even offered her the opportunity to say goodbye.
Kristin Taylor: See, this,
Christina Brinkley: she really
Kristin Taylor: that’s what she really wanted. I want to stay here because, um, in your episodes, you’ve made such a point of saying and emphasizing so much we need to metabolize our feelings. And this feels so, so linked to this, like she is stuck repeating, perseverating, [00:15:00] replaying this without allowing the grief to move through her.
And then I’m wondering, is it, this is a weird question. Hmm. I mean, this is all just so sort of mind bending, so I hope this makes sense, but I don’t know how to explain this. So what I continually hear is that this idea of past lives, current lives, future lives, on the other side, there is no timeline.
They’re almost like concurrently happening, like they’re right. And so is there a part of her, because she and I share the same soul, that is aware that Her, quote unquote, future life, her soul that is occupying different lifetimes, or even me, Kristen, this lifetime, is bearing witness to her and that she feels heard, or is there something you can say about my relationship to her or this process that you’re doing with her?
Christina Brinkley: You know, I just got [00:16:00] chills. Because I’ve actually never thought of it that way. But, that is exactly what we do. We always have you, I always have you there. Cause it’s not, So I’m there, bearing witness. I always have you, Kristen, there, with whoever the other, your other soul lifetime is. And, and we’re there. Like, and sometimes I’ll have people comforting their other, their person.
Like, and, yeah, so that’s, that is what it is. There, is an aspect of it that has to play out of just needing to be seen and heard often.
Kristin Taylor: Mm hmm. Mm.
Christina Brinkley: and, and loved in that moment. In order to shift out of that frozen space.
Kristin Taylor: that frozen
Christina Brinkley: Those moments.
Kristin Taylor: the looping, the looping, it’s like it keeps rewinding to the same thing and she’s stuck and she’s stuck and she’s stuck. It’s so interesting what comes up for me too as I’m listening to this is shortly after I had my son, um, You know, he [00:17:00] was five pounds, he was three weeks early, he first week of his life was in the NICU.
Oh, and so he just, they just look so vulnerable and your whole world is to care for this child. And it really triggered a lot of anxiety for me. And often, um, when I would need to sleep, my husband would take… him on a drive, because then Jack would sleep. But him taking him on a drive brought up anxiety for me.
I’m like, don’t leave. And he’s like, we’re gonna be fine. And I’m like, but what if I lose you and my son? Like it brought up all of this. And I’m just now going back to that thinking, well, yes, there. It’s like, that’s a sticky place that that portal perhaps was open, because the anxiety was not, I didn’t see other mothers freaking out when their husbands put their son in the, in the carrier in the car seat and would leave.
I was like, Pacing the house, I’m like, I’m not sleeping, know?
Christina Brinkley: Yeah. I mean, yes, that makes, there’s these pivotal moments where we are often gifted the opportunity to heal aspects of ourselves [00:18:00] and sometimes In the opportunity to heal, that feels so painful that we miss the opportunity to heal. Do you know what I mean? Like it’s, it’s like we’re so focused on how this is painful that we don’t, cause what was happening is there’s probably little moments where you could have, um, where you’re given the opportunity to kind of grieve that feeling of loss and separation.
Um, in these, in these moments and, and so, and no, by no fault of your own, but maybe sometimes you chose not to do that and it, and, and, and so you had to, and so you were kind of accumulating the pain,
Kristin Taylor: the perfect word. Yeah, it’s accumulation of the pain and it feels so overwhelming. I feel like I just kept swallowing it and holding it. And so what I’d love to do is go back to this woman because I want to learn about her. [00:19:00] Here you are watching this movie, and before we started recording you said, um, sometimes you’re inside them, so to speak, looking out their eyes at their world.
But for her, you saw her. Can you tell me both a little bit about her, what you picked up, as well as, um, the process where you’re helping her? So to complete this cycle of grief,
Christina Brinkley: Right.
Kristin Taylor: what can you
Christina Brinkley: So, um, you know, my guides show me different things and I don’t always know why they show me different things. So, um, sometimes I figure it out later, but, um. But there, I get shown very specific things. So, um, with her, I was shown what she looked like. Um, I don’t always see features and stuff, but I, I remember her skin being olive, her hair was like really dark, um, shiny, and long, and she was [00:20:00] tall.
Um, and I don’t know how tall you are, but
Kristin Taylor: Five one and a half.
Christina Brinkley: Five one. Okay, yeah. She was, she was taller. She was like maybe five eleven, or
Kristin Taylor: Tall.
Christina Brinkley: She was tall. Um, and, um, she had like a really graceful presence to her. Um, and, and, and that’s what they were showing. I mean, they were showing me these aspects of her. And again, like, I don’t know why, I don’t know why I needed to know what her hair looked like, but I was seeing these qualities of her.
Um, which, when we talk about the next life, I wasn’t seeing these qualities. I was seeing more of a story. Um, But I, so, when I was shown her collapsing, and I don’t even know if it was a friend or if it was like a neighbor that just happened to be there to help support her, um, or not support her, the neighbor was not necessarily in the wrong, um, [00:21:00] But, like, she was wrong.
But she, but she was like, She was kind of like, what is, like, she was kind of like, oh my gosh, you’re making a scene, like, what, I’m, the dam broke, this is very upsetting, but like, you need to calm down. Like, we’re going, everything’s gonna be fine. She was like, trying to calm her down, and there was, like, she was a little, like, she was being irrational, or just like, crazy, or whatever, and, um, clearly, that’s not the case.
And, um, And so what, what I saw that, normally what I do is I clear the person’s field. So I offer a clearing just like I would offer a clearing for you. So I ground them, um, I pull any energies out of the field that they’re no longer needed. Um, and I just kind of give them space to, um, kind of come back and collect themselves from whatever the trauma.
Because usually when they’re looping in the trauma, they’re just so focused on something. So I kind of get them. To sit [00:22:00] until they’re almost brought into awareness that that time has passed. And, um, but with her I couldn’t do that until I kept hearing I couldn’t say goodbye. And I’ve never experienced this before, but in this time I saw the spirits of her children coming to say goodbye to her.
It was, so, um, so she, she needed to say goodbye to them. So… We sat, she sat and just held this, like, you know, what looked like spirits to me. Um, I remember there being a boy. I think there were two girls. Um, there were three children and the husband. Um, and, yeah, and there’s, um, and I’m sure these… Spirits probably still show up in your life. You know, we [00:23:00] often have, especially when in these sticky moments, I often see the people, um, showing up in that. And they’ll, they probably showed up in your life in another way. Right? So, um, once I gave her, like, allowed her space to say goodbye, she could finally, like, take a breath. And it was able, then she was able to grieve.
And so we just kind of sat there and held space for her. We just sat there and witnessed her, um, grieving. And allowed her to grieve without intervening or, you know, slowing the process. Just letting it out and letting, like, and she had a lot of grief she was holding onto. So we’re just letting it all move.
And then once that felt, like, lighter, I could see her kind of coming around, like, Okay, now what’s next? Like, and that tells me that she’s ready to kind of integrate. Like, she’s like, Oh, okay. I’m not stuck in this moment. I can accept it and move on. And so, I like to always clear karma, especially when there’s other people involved.
And there were. [00:24:00] The, the souls that were lost that day. Even the neighbor that was kind of, um, Misunderstanding her or not, or not understanding, or not able to understand her in that moment. There’s just a lot of things kind of playing out and con, and then I clear any soul contracts she may have been holding on to.
Because when I integrate her back into you, I don’t want her to bring all that baggage, right? Um, She will bring with her pieces of your essence, of your soul’s essence that has been missing from you. Um, what happens is when we integrate the souls, we’re bringing in a piece of us that would felt like, um, a gap in our field.
And so you’re becoming more whole the more you bring in these things. Fragments back in. I know for me when I do soul integrations, I feel more solid as a person. I just feel like sturdier and it feels I mean, it feels [00:25:00] really
Kristin Taylor: yeah, yeah,
Christina Brinkley: so, so that’s what we did. And what, and what I found that was interesting is when we were bringing her in, because your frame is so small and she’s, she was so tall, it was, it was so funny because I, I was like, oh, like, I’ve never seen this before, which is maybe why they were showing me what she looked like.
But, um, when we were bringing her in, she had to kind of, like,
Kristin Taylor: Compress herself down.
Christina Brinkley: get into your body. And what was interesting by that is that it was like she took up so much space that it forced you to release even more stuff. So you were, at that point, I saw you almost like purging aspects of That were not yours, but you were holding space for in your, in your space and there was no room for anyone else But what was actually you [00:26:00] and since she’s a part of you you had to make room for her So you were releasing more and it was really
Kristin Taylor: oh gosh, that is beautiful, that’s beautiful. So is there anything I should be doing to continue to integrate and to move towards my healing as an awareness of this, on my side of this, my, I
Christina Brinkley: I think what she was showing us was anywhere where And this is a trick, this is a tricky subject around loss, sudden loss, and I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced it, um, or if you have a fear of experiencing it, but, um, there’s no way around it, it is a painful experience, um, and I think what she was showing us is that, um, not facing it I mean, not, not, not, not being [00:27:00]willing to accept it, It only causes more harm.
And, and so we have to sit in it.
Kristin Taylor: hmm,
Christina Brinkley: It is often not as painful if we’re willing to sit and face it than we imagine it to be. And it is definitely more painful if we resist it. So, really kind of allowing yourself to see areas. Even when those memories of, like, Your son being in the NICU come up, it’s not too late to go back to that moment and sit with that part of you and accept that he had to be in the NICU and that you might have had to be separated
Kristin Taylor: mm hmm,
Christina Brinkley: was deeply
Kristin Taylor: yes,
Christina Brinkley: and even something as going back to the part where your husband took him for a drive.
And that feeling, that panic of pacing the house, being with that part of [00:28:00] you and allowing yourself to grieve
Kristin Taylor: makes sense.
Christina Brinkley: the separation.
Kristin Taylor: makes sense because that anxiety until they got home and I saw my husband take the car seat from the back seat and bring it in and I could touch my son and touch him like you know, it was, um, I knew it was disproportional to the situation. But yeah, okay, okay, this is, this is great.
Um, there was another person that you met.
Christina Brinkley: Yes. So, I, what, I was like wrapping, as I was wrapping up her story and integrating her into you, I see a man driving at night, um, over a bridge and in one of those old,
Kristin Taylor: T.
Christina Brinkley: Model T. Okay, thank you. It was a Model T car, and, um, the, the actual, it was At the time of his death, [00:29:00] um, and so the actual death was a little choppy, which makes sense because he probably, I’m seeing it from multiple perspectives, I’m watching it happen, I’m seeing, from his perspective, I’m watching it happen, so, so there was a lot of moving parts in there, so it wasn’t super smooth, but what I understand it was nighttime, the tire, there was a flat tire or something wrong with the tire, he got out of the car, and, he had like, I see like headlights turning onto the bridge.
And then I know that him and the car, so I don’t know if he had gotten back in the car, but the car goes over the bridge. Like it, he, the car, he gets
Kristin Taylor: He gets it.
Christina Brinkley: and he goes over the bridge and, and that, and he dies. So what is that story? Well, what I was feeling is, is I needed to look to what he was feeling going before he entered the bridge. I was like, what does he feel? And it wasn’t a [00:30:00] strong feeling. It was like almost like a really normal feeling. It was like a very normal feeling that can happen with. In families or marriages, this kind of Like, what am I going to go home to? That was like a feeling he had, like, and I was looking to see why.
And I saw, well, what was he doing the moments before? And I, I tracked back, and he was delivering a baby. And it was so, I realized you’re a doctor, and you were delivering a baby at someone’s home, and it was so beautiful and joyous, and you were proud of yourself, and you were happy in that moment. So, I was confused what was going on and so I looked ahead at your home life and I saw kind of a sad, lonely home.
It was your wife who, my understanding that was coming forward was that she could not get pregnant and she was having a [00:31:00] hard time and the fact that you were a doctor that deliver babies made it very challenging for
Kristin Taylor: Yeah.
Christina Brinkley: You would, um, be called to, to deliver a baby. She would, it was like, it would just bring up that pain and she started to like, get sour about it.
And so, um, and this felt like it had been going on for a while. And so it was almost like you kind of were coming down from delivering this baby. You were hit, this bridge was right before you get to your house. So, you start to go over this bridge and then you feel, ugh, I’m gonna go home and she’s gonna be sour about, you
Kristin Taylor: mood and resentful, and I’m going to have to
Christina Brinkley: I’m gonna, yeah, and it’s, um, and not even sad, I think it had moved past that, like, it was just bitter, bitter about the experience. [00:32:00] And, and so you kind of were just feeling like, uh, and then, and then this happened with your, and then you, Went over something, the tire blew and then, and so it kind of all happened so fast, but there was a moment where I also felt you go, oh, I didn’t get to say goodbye. So it was sim similar, but it was from the other perspective of you feeling like, like you left. With there wasn’t a completion to what like it just didn’t you didn’t get to complete and so it’s like you kept Going back to that space Where you were entering the bridge and just like kind of seizing up holding your breath not wanting to go over Over the bridge.
Kristin Taylor: So, going over the bridge to face this bitter wife, so that was a moment. And then the death was instantaneous. That was, like, not the big part of the story. So, the part of
Christina Brinkley: I think it [00:33:00] happened with the death made it so you couldn’t complete
Kristin Taylor: Yeah.
Christina Brinkley: You weren’t completing it, though. There was a lot of avoidance that was happening that would lead you to a space where your wife was experiencing this, and then you… If you were in this space, there was a lot of opportunities.
It wasn’t like you didn’t have the opportunity to, to work through it. But maybe that wasn’t tools in your toolbox at that time. I mean, this was a long time ago. Um, communication probably wasn’t as effective or clear. Um, you know, it’s not even that clear nowadays. So,
Kristin Taylor: Exactly.
Christina Brinkley: so, but I, It was such a different, it was, it was almost like watching from the opposite side of like, um, You know, we saw how your family, or how you, in the previous, um, past life, we saw how she felt that loss instantaneously.
[00:34:00] And, and, and how she didn’t get to say goodbye, and now we’re seeing it from the opposite side. But this felt more like, we didn’t get, he didn’t get to complete, he didn’t get to finish. So it was just kind of this, like, held space of not completing.
Kristin Taylor: well, I’m hearing not completing his life, but I’m also hearing that this, this tension, this rift between he and his wife never was resolved. And so not only did he not get to say goodbye to her, but his passing happened in the midst of unresolved conflict
Christina Brinkley: Yeah. And that, and that was the, I think that was, I think he just, there was a feeling of, like, there was something about him that felt very positive, like, this will all work out, and it was a little bit of, like, oh, this didn’t,
Kristin Taylor: Oh,
Christina Brinkley: it didn’t go, it didn’t happen.
Kristin Taylor: happen as I thought it would, like it didn’t happen.
Christina Brinkley: Right.
Kristin Taylor: I didn’t, if I just ignored it, it’ll all [00:35:00] just sort of,
Christina Brinkley: Yeah.
Kristin Taylor: be all okay, but it wasn’t okay.
Christina Brinkley: Right.
Kristin Taylor: Okay.
Christina Brinkley: This is also a lesson in, in just facing, I mean, this is just a lot more of just like facing what’s happening in the moment and allowing and allowing the feelings to kind of come through and metabolize. This was also just like a really normal, it felt, everything about it felt like a really normal experience.
Like it felt like, but even in the Even in the normalcy of it, it felt like there was some part of your soul that didn’t like the suddenness of it. And so there was like,
Kristin Taylor: It’s trauma.
Christina Brinkley: similar to the,
Kristin Taylor: It’s trauma.
Christina Brinkley: just like, yeah.
Kristin Taylor: Yeah, it’s trauma. And so these lessons that I’m learning, and the reason I’m wanting to share this with anyone, everyone who’s listening, is so that they understand the process. Um, so what, what, what I’m taking from my side is [00:36:00] I’m looking at, okay, the lessons of this woman. Right.
That we need to be able to process our grief fully. And for me, going back to even that moment of my husband taking my son on a drive to be able to revisit that and metabolize the fear and the anxiety. So it’s not just accumulating to use your words. And so for this gentleman, it’s also this idea of not avoiding if there’s conflict or there’s tension, not just sort of, it’ll get better, it’ll get better because it, it might not unless we face it head on.
It was really interesting last night, um, I went to my son’s football game with my, with my brother and my mom and my, my husband. And it was this really intense moment in the game where I could go one way or the other. I think it was like 12 to 14, it was the fourth quarter and I’m not a football person.
So bear with me here. Um, but they pulled him in to punt. And so. It’s this intense moment of everyone is looking at my little sensitive, here I am, little sensitive baby who’s a football [00:37:00] player on the football field who hates all eyes on him. He just really is this anxious kid. And I said out loud, this is where I dissociate.
Christina Brinkley: Yeah.
Kristin Taylor: And now that I, you know, that was less than 24 hours ago and my brother is like, no, you can’t dissociate. This is when you have to be fully present to the experience.
Christina Brinkley: That’s
Kristin Taylor: And that’s like so perfect for this.
Christina Brinkley: Yeah.
Kristin Taylor: the vicarious experience of seeing him in anxiety and also loving him so much and feeling the pressure of like, okay, he’s about to like, grab that ball, catch that ball, drop kick it, and let’s see what happens as everyone’s charging him.
The metaphors are abundant here, and I want to dissociate. I want to dissociate, so to metabolize and really be there for the feeling, rather than my tendency with being sensitive throughout my life, especially as in childhood, is to dissociate and avoid. It’s too scary,
Christina Brinkley: Yeah.
Kristin Taylor: just, just tap out.
Christina Brinkley: But being [00:38:00] able to hold space. For your son in a big pivotal moment in a, in a, uh, in a game or whatever for him is the most powerful thing you can do. And not to diminish how hard that is. Um, it is extremely hard and it takes work. And so if, if you’re not able to do it, if you weren’t able to do it last night, then that’s fine.
But also knowing that that’s something you want to build towards. And that. Being aware of it is, is the first step of it. Um, what I will say is I can give you a couple, uh, tools for metabolizing emotions that, to be a little bit more
Kristin Taylor: Yes, please.
Christina Brinkley: is what I tell my clients. Um, I have a little bit of a formula that has come through.
Um, and the way… And it works also with little children, too.
Kristin Taylor: Mm hmm.
Christina Brinkley: is mine. It’s helpful because it works with my son. [00:39:00] Um, so, you know, they’re always, if you ever hear, like, like, parenting sites always say, um, when your child is upset, um, repeating back to them, instead of trying to fix it, right, repeating back to them, I don’t like this.
You didn’t like that. You didn’t like that. Um, you didn’t, you didn’t expect it and you didn’t like it. Like that is like such a pow those are two powerful things to say. You didn’t expect this and you didn’t like it. Cause that’s often where we go into freeze, resistance,
Kristin Taylor: hmm.
Christina Brinkley: you know, jump out of our bodies, all that
Kristin Taylor: yes.
Christina Brinkley: So learning to say that for yourself,
Kristin Taylor: hmm.
Christina Brinkley: Saying it, even if you have to say it in your head, you can. You’re allowed to say when your son is all eyes on him and you know this might be stressful for him, or intimidating or whatever, you’re allowed to say, I don’t like this. This doesn’t feel good in my body.
[00:40:00] This doesn’t feel good in my heart. I don’t like this. You’re allowed to say that because doing any, because skipping that step is where we get in.
Kristin Taylor: Yeah.
Christina Brinkley: you know, when we want to pretend everything’s fine or whatever, that’s when we get into trouble with ourselves. So just accepting it, like having a space where you allow, um, bring awareness to how you’re feeling and you can, so naming.
So that’s what, so my first part of my formula is bringing awareness to it. Just, just letting it be sitting with it, pausing, not trying to fix
Kristin Taylor: Right.
Christina Brinkley: So just letting it be messy or icky or
Kristin Taylor: Mm hmm.
Christina Brinkley: And then you move into accepting it. This is happening. He’s going out there. He’s doing this. And I’m sitting here and I’m safe and he’s safe.
And like naming it. Naming the qualities of [00:41:00] it. And just allowing the energy to keep flowing. Don’t try this, you know, can’t stop it. This, this can’t happen. It is happening, right?
Kristin Taylor: Or do what I did in that moment and I said it jokingly, like dissociate, but stay, stay with it.
Christina Brinkley: Yeah, stay with it. And then, and then bringing later, when you want to deal with the emotions around it, the really important part of once we experience something that we don’t like, and we need to like, start to metabolize it, is once we have allowed ourselves to accept it, we have to forgive it. We have to forgive.
The experience, maybe we forgive our reactions to it. Um, maybe we have to forgive others. Often times though, when it’s our emotions, it’s mostly we have to forgive ourselves. Because it’s usually us that has stopped it. So, maybe if you want to look back at the time you were pacing back and forth [00:42:00] with when, um, your son was…
Your husband to your son on the drive, you can forgive yourself for that reaction. Like, forgive yourself for being panicked and not taking care of your needs. Um,
Kristin Taylor: Yeah.
Christina Brinkley: and then from that point, when you’re forgiving, then you need to, once you feel like you’ve forgiven and you’ve accepted, then sitting in that space and filling yourself with love, like loving yourself so much, finding all the ways in which you have met.
Your needs haven’t been met and filling it with pockets of love and maybe you bring in like love from the earth or love from the cosmos or from God or however you want to envision it and bringing that love in to fill those spaces because what’s happened is is when we have resisted or when we’re processing this emotion we we’re usually [00:43:00] replacing Whatever emotion with love like love is being replaced with whatever emotion So we so we have fear instead of love or we have anger instead of love or whatever So we need to fill the love back in now that we’re willing to metabolize these emotions and let them go We have to fill back in with something.
So we’re gonna fill back in with love
Kristin Taylor: That’s so
Christina Brinkley: and then from love We move in And only after you’re in the space of love and your cup feels flowing and you’re feeling overflowing, then you can be grateful for the situation. And I will say that oftentimes I hear people say to do gratitude and be grateful, and I think that a lot of times that message is delivered in, Incorrectly, because you cannot be grateful from an empty
Kristin Taylor: That’s right.
Christina Brinkley: gratitude is a magnifier and a multiplier.
So if you’re faking [00:44:00] gratitude, if you’re empty or like, uh, should be grateful and you’re coming from that space, you’re going to magnify the anxiety, you’re going to magnify the fear. You don’t want that. So hold off on gratitude. It’s not going anywhere. Fill yourself with love, forgiveness, acceptance. Do all that work first.
Metabolize that energy, that emotion. Make sure it’s out of your
Kristin Taylor: Yeah.
Christina Brinkley: and then be great. Then you’re just, you’re, then you’re just grateful. You’re so, then you’re automatically grateful. You’re like, Whoa, I don’t feel this anymore. I don’t feel this pain or this anxiety or this fear. I’m so grateful. And then it’s.
That’s where that, when people talk about how gratitude changed their life and opened up doors, that’s because they’re talking, because they’ve experienced it from a place filled with
Kristin Taylor: Yes. God, that’s so powerful, Christina. That’s so, so powerful. It’s, it’s interesting. Um, I follow a woman, um, for years. She’s a Buddhist practitioner and psychologist. Her name is Tara [00:45:00] Brock, and she has a framework called RAIN, and it’s the mindfulness practice of self compassion. Emotionally regulated, and it’s very, very similar to what you’re saying.
The R is recognize, give it a name. And there’s a study out of UCLA, it’s called affect labeling. Simply by virtue of giving emotions, plural, because there are often many and nuanced, names, it really goes far towards emotional regulation.
Christina Brinkley: Yes.
Kristin Taylor: A is allow. Don’t resist. Allow. And show up with the allowing, with.
Neutrality and curiosity.
Christina Brinkley: Yeah.
Kristin Taylor: branches to that. One is, what is the story I’m telling myself? Let me just check into that story. And where do I feel it in my body?
Christina Brinkley: Yes.
Kristin Taylor: That’s the investigate, that’s I.
Christina Brinkley: Oh,
Kristin Taylor: Yeah, where do I feel it in my body? What’s the story? And then, the N is [00:46:00]nurture. How do I show up in self compassion?
Instead of saying, why is this happening? It’s saying, what do I need? And let that answer be infused with deep, deep love.
Christina Brinkley: Yes.
Kristin Taylor: But what I love about yours is like, you can’t just jump to gratitude, which I know I’ve done so many times because it’s what we’re told to do, but it’s an authentic and it’s actually sending out really bad energy, which then it’s just going to be multiplied.
As you said, that’s so brilliant.
Christina Brinkley: So when I, when I do use this formula and I, when I get to a pocket, so let’s say I’m going, I tap into, I’m like, okay, I’ve accepted it. I’m ready to do my forgiveness. And when I go to do forgiveness, if it feels inauthentic, it feels fake. If it feels like I’m trying, then I’m like, I haven’t fully accepted it.
So I always have to go back to the previous
Kristin Taylor: Oh my God, I needed to hear this.
Christina Brinkley: of the steps.
Kristin Taylor: [00:47:00] needed to hear this so badly and I am very certain other people do too. And it’s the, if I haven’t fully accepted this for me, it’s like this part of myself or this part of this other person. We can want to bypass so quickly to like forgiveness. That’s benevolent. It’s the right spiritual thing to do.
But if you’re holding on and there’s still resentment, and you haven’t accepted it and experienced that, it’s just like phoning it in.
Christina Brinkley: be, acceptance can be the hardest part. I mean, people think that forgiveness, but acceptance is like, let’s say you’re feeling jealousy. There’s so many people that would be like, oh, I don’t, they don’t want to associate themselves. I don’t, what am I jealous of?
Kristin Taylor: I’m not a jealous person. Yeah, because it’s this identity thing. I’m not jealous.
Christina Brinkley: Right. And but jealousy is such a beautiful emotion. We all have capacity for it. And if you don’t, then you’re denying yourself of an important tool because jealousy allows us to scan something [00:48:00] and be like, Oh, I want
Kristin Taylor: I want that.
Christina Brinkley: And I, and we are not capable of being jealous of something that we don’t have the possibility of having for ourselves.
So it’s a clue in what we are, have the capacity
Kristin Taylor: This is gold.
Christina Brinkley: So jealousy is, should be, so that is, I mean, every, so I am always grateful for when jealousy comes onto my radar, and I’m like, oh, okay, but first I have to like, work through the emotions around it, and And, of course, every emotion has its negative side.
If you’re only stuck in the negativity of it, it can ripple out and it can cause harm. But, when you’re actively metabolizing emotions, if you’re just allowing, if you’re accepting it, you’re not allo Oh, I forgot, there’s another part. So, a lot of people have a hard time with some of these More negative idea of around, um, emotions like maybe, um, [00:49:00] greed or being greedy or being jealous or whatever.
So they try to deny
Kristin Taylor: that’s not me. That’s the shadow work they’re not
Christina Brinkley: Right. Yeah. But once you accept it and you move along, at the very end, after you’re grateful for this, this jealousy coming on your radar, or feeling greedy about something, and it’s coming on your radar, then you can, then I like to add in accountability. How do I want to, what do I want, how do I vision myself doing it different next time?
How can I, so if I was feeling jealous, and I maybe was like, talked bad about the person because I, Because I was trying to make myself feel better or something, right? Then I would be like, okay, how about next time I catch myself before I say something negative and I just Switch it around in my head of like wow, that’s amazing for them that too and own it in myself and then so we start to shift into [00:50:00] accountability at the end of like what can we do differently next time because There also has to be growth in this Um, so you’re metabolizing emotions, you’re feeling, filling up with, you’re forgiving yourself, you’re filling up with love, you’re, um, being grateful for this kind of experience of le of this lesson and how it came through, and then you have the opportunity to change it.
How do you want to change your relationship to it
Kristin Taylor: God, this is, this is like deep seminar workshop. This is deep, deep work. It’s so good. It’s so important. And I think so many of us aren’t doing it and then we’re caught in repeating patterns. And if you’re looking at the law of attraction or however we want to define that, then we’re attracting what we, the shadow side of us that it hasn’t been processed and all the traumas go in the driver’s seat.
And then we look around saying, but I am, I’m doing my work and why is this, I’m choosing gratitude and I’m choosing forgiveness when we’re [00:51:00] actually just kind of phoning it in or saying it, but it’s not authentic. And I’m saying this because I have done this.
Christina Brinkley: I have too. I have too. My, one of my clients actually helped me call it, because I, I channeled this formula. This came into a, uh, she had asked me a question about her process, and then this answer came through very clearly, and I’ve been practicing it with clients since. But she said something like, I keep getting this, she kept having this feeling, reoccurring feeling like she was, Bad.
She was like a bad person. She was failing. And then, I was like, walk, she was like, and I can’t get rid of it. And I was like, walk me through your process of, she was like, I’m trying to sit with it and accept it. And I was like, well, walk me through your process. And she was like, okay. Well, I sit there and I tell myself I’m not bad.
And then I say, I’m grateful for the reminder. And then, and then she was like, and then I try to like let it go. And I was like, oh, okay.
Kristin Taylor: not how you do
Christina Brinkley: are missing, we’re missing so many [00:52:00] steps here. There’s like, like you’re identifying it sort of, but there, then you’re skipping right to a, um, gratitude and there’s no, none of the stuff in
Kristin Taylor: Yeah.
Christina Brinkley: And all the stuff in between is that, that’s the juicy stuff. And that’s really how we make room for change.
Kristin Taylor: Yeah, because it’s one thing to say metabolize your emotions, and that sounds like a great phrase, but how? How do you do it? Yeah.
Christina Brinkley: And then I had another client that, when I brought up greed, it, it was so, so, it felt so uncomfortable, like she, she did not want to be associated with it. And she, and she’s the one that helped me understand that I had to add accountability at the end. Until I added accountability, she wasn’t willing to accept that she could be greedy.
Because she, She didn’t want to be like, she didn’t want to just sit with the idea of being greedy. But she was willing to sit with the idea of being greedy, if she knew that they’re at the end of the tunnel of this processing, that she could be [00:53:00] like, now I’m gonna do something different. I can make conscious efforts to change.
And so it was, so it’s so sweet. I mean, there’s all, you know, it’s such a sweet approach, but it’s also okay. It’s okay to be greedy too, because you know what that means? That means you’re putting your attention on yourself. And a lot of times we’re told that things are bad when they’re not. And they’re, and we’re really just being, um, you know, put in a position where we need to, like, focus on ourselves.
Kristin Taylor: Yeah, the guilt and the shame that can come up when we are focusing on ourself and then we demonize or vilify these aspects of ourself. That’s why the shadow work is so important to, to be able to touch those places, otherwise they, they will start to take control as we subconsciously move through the
Christina Brinkley: my shadow, this is my shadow work formula.
Kristin Taylor: so good. It’s so, so good. Thank you. This is like gold. I just, just love it so much. We are basically at [00:54:00] time. I just want to say to those listening, um, it’s one thing to listen and go like, hey, that’s Kristen’s experience, but I do want to share from the inside. Um, even yesterday and today, a couple of challenging things have come up in my life.
I mean, nothing big, but just, you know, parenting and, you know, marriage and time and energy. And I feel greater equanimity. I don’t feel triggered. And I, I think there’s some processing that’s already starting to take place as that portal was opened. And as in particular, I’m hearing that woman, you know, bearing witness to her grieving.
And, um, I’m trying to think of your words, but that it’s more integrated without that place of trauma,
Christina Brinkley: Yes.
Kristin Taylor: that it’s starting to feel more resolved. So I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the generosity of your time and your talents and your gifts and your… [00:55:00] Your angels and spirit guides and mine as well, but that you, you really initiated something very powerful and healing and I will just forever be grateful.
Christina Brinkley: Oh, you’re welcome. It was so fun. It was so fun. And it was such a beautiful experience.
Kristin Taylor: thank you. And so as always, especially because now people have gotten a more than a glimpse into how um, important your work is and how much depth and wisdom you bring, how do people reach out to you? Where can they find you?
Christina Brinkley: you can find me on my website, Souljourneywithchristina, um, and Instagram, which I don’t use as often, but I’m starting, I’m starting back after my summer break, um, which is also Souljourneywithchristina,
Kristin Taylor: Great.
Christina Brinkley: Souljourneywithchristina.
Kristin Taylor: Good. Good. Well, we’re going to have you on again, so this is not goodbye forever, it’s goodbye for right now. [00:56:00] So much gratitude for you. Thank you, Christina.
Christina Brinkley: Thank you.