Samantha J 00:04
When I was able to have that level of self honesty, that clarity, then I was able to engage with the level of vulnerability of I don’t think I can do this probably I am crazy, I don’t know how this is going to work out. What that enabled me to do is then be courageous to make different steps towards the life that my heart was guiding me to.
Adam Baruh 00:35
Welcome to The Change, where we share stories and inspiration from business leaders and people making positive work life changes. I’m your host, Adam Baruh. In business, we’ve often felt that there’s a clear divide between who we show up to be in a professional setting, and who we are personally, I’ve heard countless stories of people who felt that when they are at work, they put out one persona, but at home, they’re someone else. The reason for this is obvious. In order to advance in business and be promoted. We’ve felt that in the workplace, our primary focus should be about the work and not our personal needs. This is the traditional business model built on capitalism. And this model works great for businesses, but not great for people. Yet here we are in 2022, recovering from a pandemic, learning how to better work together rather than focusing on what divides us with global political issues happening right before our eyes. Perhaps the greatest changes we are witnessing are the changes happening within business. The great resignation is a mirror that is reflecting back to us the ways in which we’ve been failing as business leaders. We have often fallen in the traps of not letting our instincts drive our behavior. But when we can learn to let our authentic selves show up, when we could learn to recognize the sabotaging drama queen and king within us, when we honor what makes us unique, we then can solve the numerous issues our society is currently facing. I’m so excited to welcome our guest today, Samantha J. Who is honoring her authenticity, and letting her inner business Empress drive the change in the world we all need with her work to help entrepreneurs stand up and speak up. Samantha, welcome to the change. Thank you for being here. And Happy International Women’s Day.
Samantha J 02:24
Thank you so much, Adam. And well what an intro. I mean, that really, really was something special. And yet all the listeners Happy International Women’s Day to all the men out there celebrating your feminine today as well.
Adam Baruh 02:38
So first off, I want to say how much I’ve been looking forward to this interview. A couple of weeks back, my wife and I traveled to Costa Rica, and I brought your book Stand Up, Speak Up along with me to prepare for this interview. And as my wife and I went to Costa Rica without our young kids, I was looking forward to a lot of relaxation in the sunshine with some great reading material. And, you know, this trip gave me that physical and mental readiness to fully receive the content that you wrote about and I literally found myself underlining on this pair every paragraph in your book. So so thank you for that. And anyway, I’d like to start by reading a quote from your intro in stand up speak up. We need a Nelson Mandela style leadership revolution right now. I have the eyes, ears and mouth to share a message that’s rumbling through every cell of my being inviting me to find the courage and confidence to stop hiding and model what the world most needs right now embracing and expressing our true selves to unleash our ability to make an impact on the world. Such a powerful and needed call to action. So if you wouldn’t mind, can you tell us more about how this this message is rumbling through every cell of your being?
Samantha J 03:59
You know, I remember when in Australia, it’s about two years ago now we had these huge bushfires. And there was something about what these bushfires symbolizes to me that I saw it as a quarter leadership. And one of the things that I’ve done a lot of training in energy work as a medicine woman. And I really deeply believe that nature is always marrying to us. You know, something that is within us. And so I asked myself at that point, what is this? What is this bushfire really mirroring to me, and I saw how leaders in the world were responding at that point in time. And I guess it reminded me of these visions that I had in back in 2016. And I had these visions at that point. I’m highly psychic. So in 2016, I saw that between 2020 to 2025. There was going to be these different natural disasters that were happening on the planet on the planet, and that there will be more. Okay, disruption of systems. And it’s not something that I openly speak about. Because I think that when people think about visions and things they can go, wow, you know, she’s really woowoo. But anyway, I had those visions, and I took them a little less seriously, I didn’t want to attach to them. But when I started to see these bushfires happening, then I saw the, the whole world shut down. I was like, Oh, God, don’t tell me if this was true. And I started to go, maybe this is what I saw. And I started to ask myself, you know, what are these different events? What is this pandemic mirroring to something inside of me, and I, I remembered the the indigenous medicine teachings that I had learned when I was in Peru and, and these other different areas, and they spoke about this time, this point in history where humanity would have three different timelines, it was completely prophesized in all of the indigenous teachings, that there would be three timelines for humanity, and that we would have a choice, humanity of which one we chose. And it was really teaching us that we’ve become so separated from nature, you know, we see ourselves as superior to nature. And that, you know, and the technology and these other things that we’re doing, you know, is, is kind of, we’re trying to advance ourselves at a pace that is beyond nature’s pace. And so, when all of this stuff happened, my life made more sense, because for anybody that’s heard my journey, my life’s journey has been about 11 years as an entrepreneur, being really corporate being very capitalist, and then spending the second half learning about indigenous wisdom. And so I saw it is this call to action, that the wisdom that I have inside, it was now time for me to like, Stop hiding and get over my fear of exposure? And to actually go, Wait a second, what does this mean to me, this is mirroring that, you know, I need to be part of the change, I need to stand up, I need to speak up, I need to stop valuing my voice and stop thinking that one person can’t make a difference in this world. Like, I can make a some ripple of effects. And that is true for each and every single one of us.
Adam Baruh 07:18
Absolutely. So I’d like to take the audience to the beginning of your story. And before I go there, I do want to remark on how much I appreciate your openness and your honesty as you did you share and write about your emotional and mental struggles in your teenage years and in your early 20s. So you know, one of the topics I touch on regularly in this podcast is how important it is to normalize the mental health conversation. So thank you so much for sharing your story. And as I read your account, it’s easy to easy to perceive how these experiences profoundly informed the work that you do today. You describe how at 15 years old, you created your first startup a jewelry import business, but by 18 years old, you’re in a mental health hospital and a suicidal paralyzed state of bipolar disorder. You went on to write my body ended up in a state of disease, I was burnt out. And I ended up with endometriosis. I had Lyme disease. So what what can you share us about this painful part of your early journey and how it shaped who you are today? Yes.
Samantha J 08:24
So all my life since I was a little girl, I always knew that I was different. But the thing that I really struggled with, in knowing that I was different is how to fit into society. And along that journey, which is something that I think that we all, at some point struggle with, and is the number one thing that is really going to affect us in our ability to be able to stand up, speak up, stand out, you know, be a Nelson Mandela style of leader are where we are going to not be liked. And we’re going to be rejected and judged and misunderstood along that journey. And so, at that point in my life, I cared more about what others thought of me than how I thought about me, I was willing to sacrifice and abandon my true self. For that level of fitting in and belonging with my tribe and the community around me to the point of my complete, just disease. And so that disease was a symptom of living by society’s rules, trying to be accepted and approved and a loved due to my desperation, to find that sense of belonging and not having any guidance around how I could feel safe and secure in my, in my true self. That’s the easiest way to describe underneath what that was all about.
Adam Baruh 09:50
And thank you for that openness. Um, there was a pivotal moment. I think it was when you were 21 years old, where you won the Young Entrepreneur Award and initially cepting That you gave a speech that you called the age of the Mental Health entrepreneur. So tell us more about the speech. And if you would describe for us what you meant by this idea of the Mental Health entrepreneur.
Samantha J 10:12
Yeah, so I, you know, I’ve, the mental health entrepreneur is about the people that have experienced the most adversity trauma, I saw a huge correlation between the qualities of them as a person, somebody who’s able to practice adaptability, somebody who’s able to be highly resilient, somebody who often thinks quickly, in being able to maybe sometimes not for the right reasons. I’ve met very smart thinkers and innovators who have had sex addictions, drug addictions, alcohol addictions. And so I began to say that only if we could channel those qualities in a more productive way, that they are the ones who actually make the best entrepreneurs, because the best entrepreneurs, I know, Warren Buffett speaks to these qualities to practice adaptive intelligence. Anybody who’s been an entrepreneur knows you need to be highly, highly resilient. And so if we could only channel them qualities into entrepreneurship, I’ve come to find that they are the best entrepreneurs. And that’s why so many different entrepreneurs who have been through these different things, find very, they have all that energy, you know, my past is experiencing different things with sex addiction. As soon as I got to bring all that energy and channel it into my business, something that thinking grow rich the book speaks to, then I’m I’m focused, I’m on purpose, I’ve got something with all this energy inside of me, and, and I believe that’s what’s possible.
Adam Baruh 11:43
Something I can completely relate to in the past has been difficulty accepting and acknowledging praise and accomplishments. And I read that, you know, after you won the Young Entrepreneur Award you described, I remember going back home, after the awards night and crying, looking at that award, that physical object, knowing that everyone would have forgotten that tomorrow, that still there was inside of me, this voice that didn’t love me, that didn’t approve of me that genuinely didn’t think that I was enough. And I was really moved by the emotion you described and the negative self talk for sure. I mean, that that completely resonated with me, it’s something I’ve struggled with my whole life. And you’ve described this voice as our sabotaging drama queen or king. So can you tell us more about how the sabotaging drama queen and can like what it is and how that voice actually serves us.
Samantha J 12:41
The sabotaging drama queen and king is the part of us that’s that nothing will ever be good enough. It’s the part of us that is in touch with our potential. And the gift that it holds is that we need it as a voice. Because it’s always pulling us into being more and doing more. The only thing is, is that if we’re not connected also into the business and person emperor, then we’re not connected into the part of us that is enough, is whole and appreciates and celebrates the who and what we are here today is is lovable, worthy incompletely enough. So often, many of us unless we’ve been in spiritual work, then we’re more identified with that sabotaging drama queen and king and our life is an expression of escaping that voice. We haven’t learned how to make peace with it. So what I encourage people to be able to do is to recognize that there’s two voices inside us of us, there’s many, there’s two kind of main ones here. And we never want to run away from them. We actually want to recognize the both of them have gifts and wisdom. And what we need to learn how to do is to honor and accept and acknowledge those and to learn how to bring them constantly into balance, because we need both of them. If we want to be content and have inner peace with where we are here today. We want one foot in that which is our business Empress. We want to be content and pay at peace with who and what we are the full package of our strengths and our weaknesses, the stuff we love about us and what we hate about us. We need to be content in that piece with our life here today was hearing what the sabotaging drama queen and king says and where it’s guiding us and being open and kind of joyful and curious about where it’s going to always keep leading us as it has a foot in our hearts desires of where we want to be. And it’s that balance that stabilizes us and ultimately in psychology language that’s the inner child and the adult within us,
Adam Baruh 15:01
It’s so important. And I mean, just recently, um, you know, there, there was a situation at my company that, that I manage, where I kind of went away from my, what my heart was telling me and I, I had kind of like a fear based response to something and I kind of acted out of it. And I mean, I now looking back, I kind of recognize that is kind of the sabotaging drama King within me that that was reacting that way, when all along, I knew what my heart’s intent was, and I was able to, you know, after I kind of sat and reflected, I did recognize that, you know, what I did here was I didn’t listen to my heart, I listened to my fear, and I let that kind of take over. And fortunately, I had the self awareness to kind of call that out in myself and go and apologize for what happened. And, you know, I think it’s like you said, it’s very important to, to follow your heart.
Samantha J 16:02
Yeah, the heart will always guide us into territory where there’s no evidence to say that it’s possible or it’s certain, or that you can do it. And so there has to be this level of inner trust, and also this level of inner reflection to be able to take that moment in time to reflect on when we get into fear, and to bring ourselves back as well.
Adam Baruh 16:24
So tell us more about the next couple of years after you after you won that Young Entrepreneur Award. I think I read that you when you were 21, you were the youngest vice president of the local business chamber. And it was at this time that you realized and I quote, you wanted to bring consciousness into business and advocate for business models, that coupled profits with purpose, you noted some really important realizations you made as part of this early journey, and I want to share a feel, I learned that adversity is our greatest teacher, I learned that we can’t escape our darkness or shadows, and that our tests and trials are the pressure cooking experiences that refine us into the embodiment of our true selves, and awaken us to our gifts. I learned that every experience was happening for me, and not to me. I learned that my business would not outgrow my mindset. Tell us more if you would about these realizations, and about what helped propel your story from a place of pain, and struggled to a place of strength.
Samantha J 17:27
What an amazing, amazing question. Yes, I guess the place to start is that I realized that in order to really discover my authentic self, and to be able to have a meaningful impact on the world, that there was a lot of darkness inside of myself, that I actually had to face in order to be able to do that. Literally, I’ve got a quote on my title, Romania, Tennessee Williams, a prayer to the world of heart kept in cages. And I’ve been really reflecting on this recently, because my life at the moment has a lot of ease. I feel incredibly joyful and happy. And things are really working for me. But I was reflecting on just how much darkness how much like suffering, how many tears have been shed how much pain I literally lived in day after day after day. And it felt like inside of myself, I was pushing my code. And it felt that way for years and years and years. And so when I really think about what it’s taken in order for me to get to where I am here today, like I don’t want to paint a pretty rosy picture. Because I mean, it’s been years and years of like waking up and feel like you’re my mind’s got with me, it’s felt like this so much I’m moving against internally. And the only thing that enabled me to keep showing up to that was that I was like this is happening for me. And there was a purpose bigger than myself that I deeply cared about with my heart. And I was like, I can’t give up on them people. So many times along this journey I could have given up on me, I really could have. But what it’s about is that I was like I can’t give up on them people I am driven by a mission in my lifetime to end mental illness and end the way that sexual abuse is currently infiltrating this world. And so because I’ve got this bigger mission of wanting to end mental illness and sexual abuse on the planet, I’m like, if I don’t get up if I don’t keep this promise to myself today, like that’s what I’m going to face on the mirror is like the people and even if I’m just affecting one person, that one person matters. And this is the mindset that’s enabled me to no matter even if I’m tired, or if I didn’t want to show up. I’m like, I will get up for that group of people out will make it work for that group of people. And so I kept asking myself, well, how why? How is this happening for me? Where’s the gift? Where’s the sweet nectar? Where’s the where is the sweetness in Listen. And then by being able to keep asking that question, I was able to say, Ah, this is how this is happening. For me that’s positive for my future. And I started to be able to go through that journey with less expectations on me. And I made it fun. Instead, you’ll see this in my posts, and, you know, my stories. And if you’re following me on social media, I’m always trying to make things fun. Because I promise you, if you’re not making it fun, if you’re not having fun every day, like you won’t get there. That’s also why as a leader, I show up in the way that I do, you know, because I actually couldn’t show up. If, you know, if you’re a leader out there, and you’re feeling incredibly drained. It’s because you’re trying to be somebody other than who you are. Now, you know, I get energized, every single day I make doing my business, I get energized. And that’s because it’s, it’s no effort. And the reason it’s so effortless, because I’m not going to be anybody else other than what am I want it to be freaking fun, I need to have play, I want this to be light hearted. And the truth is this because I’m not going anywhere, I mean, I’m going to be 90 or something, I’m going to be on my deathbed, and I’m going to have made my purpose to that I’m not going anywhere. So because I also have that view, I’m like, I can’t be burnout, I can’t pretend to be somebody else. And I truly am. I can’t make this not fun because like I want to be here to the end. I want to enjoy the journey.
Adam Baruh 21:22
Well as you know, somebody who is, you know, listening and tuned into your message I want to thank you for for that openness, I want to, I want to thank you for recognizing that and being being that light. Um, I think, you know, your story’s inspiring and kind of, you know, in the context of that, and in the spirit of openness and transparency, I think why your story resonates with me so much is that my own story is filled with a lot of painful moments, I was living with a lot of negative self talk, a feeling of living without purpose, I started having more and more anxiety attacks leading kind of before the pandemic, and then actually for about a year into the pandemic until I sought help from a business coach, which really, truly helped me, you’ve written about choosing to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. Some people are called to be the candle. Others are called to be the mirror and some are called to be both. So will you describe what you mean by this concept? And how do you see yourself? ,
Samantha J 22:25
Thank you. And thank you for being so vulnerable to share your story I am really appreciate that. And I often find the people that are the most humble and in integrity or those who have been through adversity, it makes them more integral. So that’s beautiful to share. So we can do and then mera is I think that we’ve kind of been, we’ve kind of been Pedda, stalling, like bullied, or we’ve been kind of stalling, the Nelson Mandela. But we haven’t recognized that Nelson Mandela was successful, because he had followers, he had people that were willing to be the mirror, who are willing to share his message, who are willing to trust in him first and see him as this crazy one and grow. Maybe I’ll listen to what this crazy one has to say. And maybe I’ll keep putting in some effort and see if there’s something there. And so if we want to bring a change to the world, there’s going to be those people who are the leaders and the entrepreneurs are the people that go first. But they won’t have success unless there’s somebody who’s following them. If there’s a number, if there’s a person whose person 234 100 500,000, and the person who’s number two, who listens to the Nelson Mandela and the person that 1000 That or just as important as who Nelson Mandela is, and this is what this concept is all about, is that there’s some people who actually are not born to be entrepreneurs, like, I have family members of mine, who they don’t have the psychology of an entrepreneur, but they make a great team member or they make great staff. And the thing is, is that we couldn’t do what we’re doing in the business without them. So this is what this concept is about is that you are equally as important if you’re a candle. Or if you are the person who you can see somebody who’s has got a great message out there. And you want to be part of the movement. And you’re you’re actually just as needed, just as important just as special.
Adam Baruh 24:19
Okay, so after your early mental health struggles and your rise as a young entrepreneur, you spent five years traveling and seeking how to live a successful external as well as internal life. You made a statement that with my limited understanding of the nervous system sounds like a good example of what happens when someone comes out of like a freeze or a depression state. And so I’m gonna quote you here. The journey in words into our heart is a lonely journey. Because everywhere that you had attached your value externally no longer is filling you up with temporary happiness. I recall feeling a deep sense of loneliness, emptiness, sadness and insecurity arise within May you go on to describe in that journey, I discovered that my head was the real problem of nothing will ever be good enough. So can you further describe and I know you touched on it earlier. But this nothing will ever be good enough syndrome, and how it’s been present in your life.
Samantha J 25:19
Nothing could ever be good enough syndrome is when we’ve identified too much with, I want to say our human self. You know, we’ve identified too much with our body, caring what other people think, society’s rules, the stories we’ve been told of what makes a successful woman look like that magazine cover and sit down and be nice and pretty. And don’t talk too much. And don’t be too emotional. And if you want to be that successful man like or you’re worse in your status, and you want to get the woman of your dreams, like be earning this much money and don’t show too much like, it’s, it’s the we’ve we’ve identified too much with the human part of us that’s trying to prove something that he’s not in touch with the Spiritual Self, the part of us that knows that there’s, there’s nothing for us to prove. There’s nothing for us to fix even about ourselves, that the journey, the true journey, actually, here is about the journey of full genuine self acceptance, and then how we express that self accept itself out into the world, not for the purposes of even proving that, it’s just about being that in the world, and recognizing the gift of that experience, comes through what that beingness does, as a result of that. So nothing will ever be good enough syndrome is I believe, at the core of this spiritual disease of why we have natural disasters of why we have mental health at its highest rate of why we have domestic violence, it’s it’s at the core of society’s like complete suffering, is that, you know, this, this, it’s really this split between the masculine and feminine, the feminine part of us knows that we need rest, we need reflection, and that we need to be able to just have play and fun and be able to be the masculine part of us is constantly obsessed with wanting to conquer to take on new mountains, to innovate, to do something. And I think that what we’re seeing at the moment is we’ve got some people in the world like the the people that have them, there’s certain men in the world of business men that are like seeking to escape Mother Earth and go out and see what new frontiers have we got of science in the looking to kind of escape what is here of Mother Earth for us to actually take responsibility for. And, and they’re looking at going to space and moving out there. And then we’ve got this whole other spectrum of the polarity of other people who are completely disassociated with this reality, who don’t value money, they’re the spiritual people, and they don’t maybe value money as much they’re not valuing the material plane and so, the real harmony of the nothing will ever be good enough syndrome is where we have to recognize that we are an extension of Source Energy having this human experience. And as we are that extension of Source Energy having this human experience that we have to be able to essentially be able to recognize that spiritual self inside of ourself and then bring them spiritual principles of worthiness into this material plane into money into work into these different areas in this way.
Adam Baruh 28:56
Yeah. Alright, so getting back to the concept of the sabotaging drama queen and king for a moment, you wrote that this sabotaging drama queen and king is a small child within you that has an unmet need, that wants you to provide it with, we often think that we should heal, fix or change this part. However, that is not truly where the healing is. The sabotaging drama queen and king is actually the way through you getting the life and business you want. It’s not about fixing, changing or wishing away that part of yourself. It’s actually about learning how to relate to that part of you in a more compassionate, empowering and loving way. When I read this statement, I think it’s where one can draw a tremendous amount of internal strength and purpose. You know, we spend so much time feeling bad about the lesser qualities about ourselves or what we want to fix. It can be overwhelming, and produce more anxiety. I think that to focus on our negative traits, when instead We can identify that those are things that make us unique. You talk a lot about in this book about authenticity, and recognizing that our unique makeup empowers us how that uniqueness is the thing that we should embrace because it empowers us to find our purpose. So describe this a bit further for us, if you will, about how you’ve embraced your uniqueness.
Samantha J 30:27
Thank you. Yeah. So some of the key traits about myself that I think are unique is that I’m a big thinker. I don’t listen to other people. I’m very self-lead. And I’m a little bit stubborn inside. I’m a little, I’m clumsy. I’m sensitive, very emotional. And a lot of the time as a leader, I wanted to really hide the part of me that can, I’m an introvert, I’m shy, sensitive. I wanted to hide these different parts of me, because I didn’t believe that I could be successful, I had to be more extroverted than what I was, if I wanted to be exposing my message each and every day, when I started to ask myself, Well, why didn’t God give me these parts of me. And if I start to live my life on the premise that actually I was made by design, to be successful with the mission that I’m here for, then I would start to expose more of who I am. Because I know that then if I do, I’m going to be more successful with what I’m doing. What I began to realize is that the part of me that’s stubborn, and who doesn’t really listen to what’s possible by others, is the very part that enabled me to take my family’s company from six to eight figures and grow up by 16 100%. Because I listened to no one in the industry. I was like, I am just gonna be read by my heart. And it’s telling me this as possible. The part of me that is sensitive, that’s clumsy, that’s an introvert and shy. When I show that online, people are like what, you know, because they see me as like, driven and all these things. And that part of them goes, Oh, she’s like a good person, she’s relatable. And so you want to start to reframe, how is the parts about me, going to help me to connect with my audience? How are the parts about me going to help me to be successful with what it is that I’m doing, and then this is going to as you start to accept them within yourself, you’re going to be less afraid about the people outside of you judging them misunderstanding, because there’s no power you can give outside of yourself that you’re not already disempowering inside. So as I saw these parts of me as worthy, and lovable, and a thing about me, I started to expose them more outside. And that’s really when things started to change on social media in my business, because I didn’t see anybody else showing up in that way.
Adam Baruh 32:51
Yeah, I can completely relate to that. And I’ve spoken about, you know, my own sensitivity on this podcast, and how, you know, for the first five years of running my company, well, and really in my career in general, which is in the IT industry, software development, you know, I’ve always known that I’ve had a very highly sensitive side, and at times, maybe shy and introverted. And I thought that was my biggest weakness. I mean, literally, my whole life, I thought that was something I couldn’t reveal, especially in the workplace, I had to hide that. And I had to, you know, create this persona, where I was assertive, and, you know, got my point across and, you know, did not show my sensitive side, because, seemingly, it just didn’t really align with, you know, the purpose of business, up until the point where, you know, last year when I started working with my business coach, and I was, you know, starting to do a lot of reflection, and looking within I, I had this moment where I realized that that’s actually my superpower. That’s my greatest strength. Why? Why have I been thinking it was my weakness for so long. And out of that really became, or, you know, came a focus on, you know, what can I, what can I use my superpower for? While I’m a CEO of a company, I have a platform, there’s a lot of messaging around leading with empathy and leading with compassion right now. And that’s exactly, I think, what my purpose was designed for, and I just, you know, I’m, I’m almost 50 And it’s, it’s striking to me that I lived most of my life, denying what was my greatest strength, you know, living living this kind of person, that wasn’t me. I want to continue on this topic of authenticity. And I’d like to read another quote of yours. If we want to stand in our authenticity so that we have the courage to stand up, speak up, stop hiding the realness and let who we really are be seen so that we can create the solution to the problem in the world that we see as an entrepreneur. The only way there is by going through this pain meeting. It feeling it healing it by associating a new meaning to these stories, and doing something different to create space within our identity for a new experience. So I shared a little bit about my my story in regards to my sensitivity, but I also had a lot of imposter syndrome, you know, running my consulting business thinking I had to hide the sensitivity in my empathy, you know, thinking it was a weakness in business. Um, you know, really reflecting on, you know, making that change, where I started to recognize that’s my strength. So in tell us about what this process was like for you? How long did it take for you to change your mindset so that you recognized how you were uniquely designed to stand up and step up to solve very real, you know, needs and leadership?
Samantha J 35:46
Yes, I think that it’s been definitely a journey, I think that it’s a journey that rather than looking at it as a destination that we get to, we should, or we can, we can choose to look at it as something that we practice each and every day that we hope to improve by 1%. And that’s been the something that I’ve only recently adopted, the last 18 months to have this approach. And by having that approach has helped me to move from somebody who was quiet, add impulsive, or nothing into very much about, it’s about having a level of commitment of where you want to be or where you’re going. And just having the level of consistency each and every day to show up to your practice. And in my life, I practice three times a day, I do sacred geometry work to rewire my brain. And I just said, Well, what if, for the rest of my life, I’m able to commit to three minutes a day of this mindset work for the rest of my life. And I know well, like, I can’t imagine where I’m going to be. So this mindset work for me is about the consistency, it’s more about what is the amount of time that I know that I could consistently show up for. And if you can, if you can commit to that consistency, it’s in the consistency, you know, a great book out there to read as atomic habits, but it’s in the consistency of deliberate practice, when they look at world class performers. And people who have done amazing things in the world. People often think that all there’s something about them, they were born for it. And what this book actually talks about, talent is overrated. What this book talks about is it’s not about that at all. When they look at what makes world class performers. It’s about they practice one thing, they practice deliberate practice of a skill consistently. And so if you want to be really good at something, no matter what it is that you you want in life, natural talent is only going to take you so far, what takes you the rest is the ability to go, I’m going to deliberately practice this and consistently show up for it. And that’s been a game changer for me. And I just consistently each and every single day, seven days a week at the moment, I’m doing a 75 hard as well. But I, I just consistently show up minimum, free free minutes a day, morning lunch, dinner. And without a shadow of a doubt, that’s become an ingrained habit in me now, I’ve done that for the last 18 months. And that’s been the game changer for me.
Adam Baruh 38:19
Oh, that’s amazing to hear. And I, you know, often we just get so busy, or we think we, we project to ourselves that we’re too busy to really take that time for us personally. But it’s so fundamentally important. I’m really glad that you touched on that. Alright, so you’ve expanded on on this further and talking about, and you were touching on it earlier about this trade off between authenticity and acceptance, and about this ongoing inner dialogue about the need to be accepted versus the empowerment that comes with authenticity. So tell us what this means for you personally.
Samantha J 38:54
I believe the illusion that we’re sold is that we thought need to be liked, if we abandon who we are, that that feeling associated with getting the approval of the tribe will be worth it. And what I have come to experience inside of my own self is that it’s not worth it. It’s not worth it to be in a job where you know, you’re actually here to be and do more and to sacrifice your own level of happiness for the security, the false sense of security that that job brings you that it’s not worth it to be in a relationship and have these certain standards that you know you want for your life and to keep being in a relationship that brings a lot of suffering for yourself, and keep abandoning your needs and feel the nickels inside of you and you’re like, oh, like it’s never worth it. But what makes us sacrifice in that way, is because we don’t have The level of safety inside of ourself to practice courage, there’s three steps to getting everything that we want in life. First, we have to practice self honesty. So if you’re not being honest about yourself about the level of dissatisfaction you’re experiencing in an area, like that’s the first place to start, be honest with how you actually are feeling I feel shitty about this doesn’t feel good, I hope this, be honest. If you can be honest with yourself, then step two is the practice of courage, we need to recognize that we don’t get everything we want in life without feeling like an FR. Like, I don’t want to spare any progress. But like, we don’t get what we want without feeling horrible, bad, we can’t do it. All the things and in order to engage with that dialogue inside of ourselves requires vulnerability. We go, we don’t get to courage. Without vulnerability, we don’t get the relationship, the life the business we want without vulnerability. So we have to first be honest about what we’re unhappy about what we genuinely want. And it doesn’t have to make sense to anybody else. Other than your heart, you could be highly successful. I had the idol life. I was very, like wealthy investment properties, luxury cars, and I gave it all up, people thought I’d gone crazy. And but inside, I had a shell of external success. But inside I was empty. So I was willing to look like the crazy one, which is incredibly important. I had to forget about others opinions and increase that internal and voice of my own opinion, because it wasn’t making me happy. When I was able to have that level of self honesty, that clarity, then I was able to engage with the level of vulnerability of I don’t think I can do this probably I am crazy. I don’t know how this is going to work out. What that enabled me to do is then be courageous, to make different steps towards the life that my heart was guiding me to, that I had no evidence was possible. That made no sense at all, to my mind. What do you mean? So all your investment properties? What do you mean, travel the world, and yet, I’m on the other side now. And I have the third thing that comes from that journey, which is self trust and confidence. I only got it by being seen as the crazy one. By thinking God, I probably am going crazy, my heart’s telling me to go into something that I don’t even know if this is real, Am I going crazy. And I never had, there was never really anybody outside of me that said, go for it, do it. That makes sense. Like no one, it was so lonely. So so lonely. And that’s what it really takes to get everything you want. And I’m so happy today. That’s what I had to go through.
Adam Baruh 42:43
Yeah, I can assure you that your audience is also very happy that that you recognize that and you recognize that, that really you needed to show up in your authentic way. So thank you. So let’s move on a bit and talk about the work you’re doing today. I think it’s important to start this by talking about your concept of our inner business Empress and emperor. So if you can describe for us what the business Empress and Emperor is and how it manifests itself.
Samantha J 43:13
And this Empress and Emperor is an entrepreneur whose deep connection to God and Spirit helps them to solve meaningful problems in the world. I believe that there are leaders, entrepreneurs, people that were genuinely born at this time to be that, that candle or that mirror. And so I’m really using this reference, because this is what’s helped me to be an entrepreneur, and to be a happy and fulfilled entrepreneur, which was to really surrender my life to a presence greater than me, and to be led by my heart, to take me places that make no sense to my mind. And that’s what I want for other people to be able to stand for something greater than themselves. Because what I’ve learned along that journey is that’s how I’ve become everything I’ve ever hoped to be. But I’ve also been able to help other people and it’s what’s enabled me to not be a dickhead and not get so focused on myself that I go back to them old patterns.
Adam Baruh 44:14
So I love this concept on you’ve described by aligning to a purpose bigger than ourselves, and how by in doing so will attract our soulmate clients. So would you elaborate on this notion of our soulmate clients and how empathetic leadership will naturally draw those clients to us?
Samantha J 44:33
Yes, so many of the clients that I work with, they’re running people pleasing, and when we’re an imposter, we’re running people pleasing, low internal value. And so what comes as a consequence of that is often we just kind of, we get the clients who anybody will do we get the scraps these people often don’t pay us on time. They don’t pay us for the value of the results we deliver, and our life’s that reflection of that low value. A soulmate client is somebody who’s a complete opposite to that. They pay you the value of the results you deliver. They appreciate you and celebrate you and they feel really friendly. Like in their company, you’re like, oh my god, I could hang out with you. I love hanging out with you, as somebody who is incredibly brand loyal, you never have to think about compete competition than going somewhere else. They see you, they appreciate you. And they want to tell all their friends about you, they become that brand advocate. And they’re very cooperative. And the thing is, is that they’re ready right now to work with you, you get on a call, or they send you a DM and they’re like, I want to work with you right now I feel it, they just trust it, they move quickly. And the thing is, they want you, they want you over everybody else and somebody who’s got a higher level of self worth. They actually believe that there’s people like that that are out there and that want to work with them. And they start going to that person, because they know that enough to prove their worth by going for the opposite of that.
Adam Baruh 46:07
I love that. You describe a mantra you use when Spirit calls I answer and when I call spirit spirit answers. So if you would describe this call of spirit for us and how it’s impacted you personally.
Samantha J 46:22
So the most recent call was when I saw them bushfires and I remember meditating on it. And I wrote this, you know, I’ve written two books, and I’ve got a third one to write. And I felt this knowingness. It’s a feeling it’s a knowingness of something I’ve needed to do. And for me, it comes through meditation. And what I’ve come to learn is that if I trust that knowingness, that that’s when my life is always most in flow. I also refer to it like breadcrumbs, something who calm like a little breadcrumb for me to do something. And as I put one stepping forward in faith, then the universe meets me there and follows. And so, yeah, when we’re thinking, Yeah, and so we must walk first, we must trust the inner knowing. And then as we trust, that inner knowing the world then reflects back the same level of trust and support and like I got your back, but we have to be willing to walk first. And then that’s when the universe meets us. And this is what the indigenous traditions say, is living in reciprocity with the world, it’s ultimately to say that, you know, as I give, I will receive as I eat the food from the earth, I will, you know, I will also give back to the earth, it’s to see that I’m in constant interconnection with all things and that I’m not here to be superior to any aspect of creation, I’m to recognize I’m in this constant dance with creation. And so, because of that, I deeply believe that I’m part of this web, and that I must live my life, to support the web of creation, to give back to the web of creation, to humanity, to animals to plants. And as I do that, I found if I give in this way, so will I receive,
Adam Baruh 48:13
Yes, you set a goal, where by 2030, you hope to build a movement of 1 million men and women following their business and person emperor. So if you could tell us more about this vision, and how each of us can help contribute to your goal.
Samantha J 48:28
Thank you. And, um, yeah, I, I have this goal. And it’s not to be egotistical at all, it’s that I, I believe that we should set a goal bigger than ourselves, that helps us to become somebody bigger than who we are here today. And that’s really where that came from. And, you know, the idea behind this goal is that I just want more people all across the world, to be able to live their big, bright, beautiful life and live their potential, because I believe that if they could be their authentic self, if we could all be in touch with that part of us, that’s nothing will ever be good enough. And that part of us that is enough, and we could learn to live our life in harmony with that, then that inner harmony would then be shown in our outer world. And that’s what I believe, will create the biggest change in the world is to learn how to live in harmony with our authentic self, and our flaws, and to recognize that that full package is enough. And I think that the byproduct of that on a societal level would be that we would stop over using the resources of this earth because we’d recognize where is enough where is our knife in our pursuit so if innovation and science and where is enough in our even for example, in obesity and hunger, you know that overconsumption of food. So I’m in the way that each and every single one of you can help. It would be, it would mean the world to me if you follow me on social media, and you know, if there’s anybody out there that you feel that could resonate with my book, stand up, speak up, or my latest book, build your empire from the inside out, give people these books and, and, you know, I wrote these books, because I just want this message to spread like wildfire. And if you are in a place of deep suffering and adversity, like I was that you trust that there’s something inside of you guiding you, your connection to God and spirit, that is the way out. There is something on the other side of this, but you must ask yourself, How is this happening for me, and know that you need to be patient on that journey, because it will take time. But as somebody who’s on the other side, have some really, really dark days and of suicide, I can tell you that. It’s so worth it. I live in an internal state of freedom and liberation today, that I know it’s always been so so worth it.
Adam Baruh 51:04
Yeah, that’s, that’s amazing. So earlier, I read a quote of yours that couples the idea of profit and purpose later in your book, you state. When we do not value, purpose and profit to coexist in harmony, we don’t have the fuel that’s needed to allow us to create the life and business we desire. You need to learn how to value both purpose and profits, and then stop being pulled into the story that to have money means you are not a very spiritual person. So if you could tell us how we can positively support this idea of profits and purpose.
Samantha J 51:38
Absolutely. There’s two groups of people that are existing on the planet, there’s that group of people who have got a lot of money, but they don’t genuinely have a deeper sense of purpose, meaning depth, and a standing for something greater than themselves. That’s like the capitalist movement, then we’ve got the other group of people which are more spiritually inclined, they’re not really valuing money, because they have contentment, peace within themselves. And yet, they have a good hearted, kind, generous, people. And, and what we need to do is, you know, that they don’t have the money in order to be able to grow their business, expose their message, and to actually bring more of what their gifts are out into the world. And so if we want to bring purpose and profit coexist together in harmony, we have to actually, as a spiritual inclined person start to say that money is not a dirty word, money is only going to amplify the person that we are. And it’s actually the fuel to creating the life we desire. I believe that those people that have the most money are those people that are more equipped with the resources in order to be able to make more of a difference in the world. And so what I encourage people to start to do is to start to value themselves more, because money is only just an expression. Imagine if money was only an expression of the internal value that you saw inside yourself. And that if you started to see that you had more value inside of yourself, you would see money as the fuel to being able to share that value that you have inside yourself to pay a bigger difference in the world. And when that when I got this insight, something really big shifted, because I’ve always felt inside of myself naturally, that I want to add this drive actually to be a wealthy person. But I also equally had this drive to want to make a big difference in the world. And for a long time, I was in these spiritual circles, and I was feeling really ashamed of myself of why do I care about wealth when no one else does. And I felt really scared to talk out about this message. Because naturally, what runs inside of me is I actually naturally care about money and purpose. But I saw that there was this split. And what I realized is that if the if I’ve got a very clear vision, and I’ve got clear values behind what I’m doing that that is what’s gonna help me to stay in integrity, with when I get more money and wealth and power, that I will stay true to ensuring that I will stay on mission that I will stay on purpose. So if you’re somebody out there, that’s really actually scared. This is a very subconscious block where people don’t want more money, because they’re afraid of who they’ll become with more money. Right? They’re actually afraid. And I’ve I have them same fears. And I had to ask myself, what’s going to keep me accountable. And it’s having that clarity of self. Having that clarity of self of what’s driving you, having them clarity of values, and in figuring out a way that you can habitual eyes how you stay true to those vision and then values each and every day. And, and when those people that have them big hearts driven in that way, value money more, then they’re going to have more resources to make more of a difference in this world.
Adam Baruh 54:53
Absolutely. And I think you are making a big difference in this world. So thank you for that. And you do just touched on your book that’s coming out, or is it out already on? Can you tell us more about it?
Samantha J 55:04
Yeah, Build Your Empire From the Inside Out, it just was released. And it’s all about the nine pillars to building an empire from the inside out. So the traditional way to build and grow businesses is all about focusing on the external sales marketing strategy, that I believe that we need to actually first start on the internal, our business is only going to be a current reflection of our mindset and the identity that we have inside. So if we want to be more successful with growing our business, first we have to look at, well, what’s the identity inside of yourself that needs to change. And I help a lot of people to be able to adopt the secure Empire maker and start to think and act and be like a secure Empire maker would. And that’s when you start to let go of the people pleasing you let go of the self sacrificing you let go of the self abandoning, and you bait you feel okay, with standing out being special, being unique merging purpose and profit, and trusting that you won’t lose yourself along that, that journey. So I go through all of that, as well as the other pillars to building an empire in that book, and getting some great feedback as well, which is good.
Adam Baruh 56:22
Awesome. I am excited to pick it up. So as we wrap up today, can you tell our audience about the Empire? B School and about the work you’re doing today?
Samantha J 56:31
Yeah, absolutely. So Empire B School is for those entrepreneurs who have a bigger purpose, and then that’s guiding them forward. And they want to learn how they can merge spirituality, strategy and self expression to build and grow their business. So you know, they we’ve been speaking a lot today about the need for spirituality purpose greater than themselves, having that connection to their human and spiritual self, or this sabotaging drama, queen and king. So I helped to rewire the inner staff, the beliefs, and then we do the business strategy. So that’s like you would get from a normal business coach. And then we go into the self expression. The self expression work is about helping you to feel really confident in that authentic self and learn to expose it more on your podcast or your books on your social media. And so, yeah, it’s a it’s my group, business coaching program. And it’s yeah, it’s a really cool experience to see it all going at the moment.
Adam Baruh 57:27
Awesome. Alright, so lastly, where can people find out more about you and your work as well as your podcast?
Samantha J 57:33
So you can head to my website, iamsmanthaj.com. I’ve got a podcast, The Business Empress Podcast with Samantha J. You can follow me on Instagram, i.am.samantha.j. I’ve also got an incredible Facebook group, you’re seeing all the links there in my Instagram. In that Facebook group. I’m delivering value each and every day in there. So yeah, that would be the best place to hang out.
Adam Baruh 57:59
Awesome. Well, Samantha, I want to thank you for being a guest here today for the work that you’re doing to help entrepreneurs and for your openness and honesty and in sharing your journey with us. You’re definitely as I said before, you’re making a big difference. And you’re welcome back here anytime. So thank you so much.
Samantha J 58:16
Thank you so much.
Adam Baruh 58:18
Samantha J is an award winning entrepreneur, Best Selling Author and soulful speaker, a business empress who merges spirituality and entrepreneurship to help women and men make a meaningful impact on the world. After leading her family’s business to eight figures by the age of 21, Samantha embarked on a journey of soulful discovery that helped her embody her divine femininity and masculinity and stepped into her personal power. While traveling to over 25 countries. Samantha refined her gift as a medicine woman alongside leading authorities in neuroscience, shamanism and sacred sexuality. She emerged with a unique methodology that combines ancient healing practices with pragmatic business strategies to build purposeful and profitable empires. Samantha works with entrepreneurs to help them harness their zone of genius and realize their ultimate potential in life, business and relationships. She has ignited a global movement with an ambitious goal to see 1 million men and women embody their Empress and Emperor by 2030. You can read more about Samantha J on our website, eiqmediallc.com/the change. Our theme song and sound engineering was provided by Shane Suffriti you can listen to more of Shane’s music at www.shanesuffriti.com. If you would like to tell us what you think about our podcast, please send me an email at thechange@eiqmediallc.com. Thank you all for listening. We’ll see you next time on The Change.
59:54
The Change is produced and distributed by EIQ Media LLC, LLC. Emotional IQ with podcasts and content focus on leadership, mental health, entrepreneurship and more.
