Karese Laguerre 0:03
I think it’s hard living in the society where we can’t share openly and I’m hoping that we’re coming across a little bit of a change because there is a movement for promotion of mental health or promotion of, you know, self care, self love being able to appreciate that you too are a person of value and you need to be cared for just as much as every other member of your family that you may be sacrificing yourself for.
Adam Baruh 0:45
Welcome to The Change where we share stories and inspiration from business leaders and people making positive work life changes. I’m your host, Adam Baruh. The challenges that parents have faced the past couple of years has been tremendous. During the early months of the pandemic, many parents were forced literally overnight into essentially becoming teachers as their kids education went remote. On top of that, many parents still had jobs that require their attention. With the loss of sleep, dealing with laundry and cooking and making sure the bills get paid. It’s no joke that parenthood is the hardest job one will ever have. The workplace has historically not been a great environment for people to share with their co workers about personal challenges. This can leave parents feeling isolated, burned out and suffering a level of anxiety they’ve had to keep private. Here to talk about parenthood, how to get better sleep, eliminate burnout and execute goals is Karese Laguerre, a myofunctional therapist based in West Palm Beach, Florida, Karese, welcome to The Change.Thanks for Thanks for joining us today. So I’d like to start with your background because I think you know, how you grew up kind of plays a part in in the work that you do today. So let’s start there. Let’s start with you, telling us about where you grew up what your childhood was like, and that sort of thing.
Karese Laguerre 2:12
Thank you for having me. I’m excited to be here. Well, I grew up in New Jersey, I’m very much a Jersey girl. Yay. Well, I reside in Florida. I am not a Floridian. So my upbringing in New Jersey was very interesting. I was raised by immigrant parents from the Caribbean. And, you know, it was a very strict household and a lot of structure and a very big emphasis on education and learning. So I was always pushed from when I was young to always try to learn more, no more. So as I progressed and eventually became a registered dental hygenist, I found myself seeking out more information as I started to learn of the ways that medicine and dentistry kind of overlap, right. So I was working for a pediatric dentist, who was very much entwined in airway dentistry. And she was able to put together a lot of pieces for me, for my children, because I’m a mom of four. And my children had a lot of things that I feel like, we don’t talk about as parents, right? So we’re going through the world and people ask, how’s everything? Or how are the children, you give your highlight reel, you’re like, it’s great. You know, this one’s in soccer, that one’s in ballet, we’ve got such and such going on. But you don’t really talk about all the stuff that’s underlying there. And so that’s some of the stuff that I was keeping to myself that my son was struggling with ADHD and behavioral and impulse control issues. My daughter had every sleep issue under the sun on my little two had a lot of upper respiratory infections, constant ear and throat infections. And it just seemed like we were never really at a great state of health. Yeah, and once this pediatric dentists kind of put things together for me, though, a lot of that was all intertwined in the way that they were either using their mouths or breathing. I dove deep and I dove hard and I’m constantly learning again and again, because I want to make an impact like I’ve been able to make in my own home, but I would love to make that for others as well. Yeah. All right, let’s um, I want to I want to keep you back in in your I guess, late teen years on you know, I came across, you have a book called accomplished how to sleep better eliminate burnout and execute goals. And I’d like to read an excerpt from that book, if I may. At 18 years old, I was naive and pregnant. My mother took that nine month gestational period to remind me daily of my naivete, and the gravity of the situation. This grounded me firmly in my independence. Once my son was born, I was the sole caretaker. We co slept and it took almost three weeks before I relented and asked for help so I could shower, not the fresh or happiest moments of my life, but certainly the pivotal point.
Adam Baruh
So, can you tell us what that was? Like, you know, being a teenager and being pregnant and what that what that dynamic was like, in your family and for you?
Karese Laguerre
Well, first of all, I don’t think I knew at the time how naive I was definitely, as an adult reflecting back on it, and that son now is 18 himself. And so, you know, it’s like, yeah, there’s a lot of naivete there. But that time period, for me was really just a buckle down, I have to focus like this is a consequence that I have to be fully accountable for, right? And how am I going to juggle all these things? Because I was still trying to maintain school at that point in time and figuring that I can, yes, go to college, and I can do all these things. Right. So how do you juggle these things? How do you get to a point where you feel like you’re getting everything done? Why is it that it took me so long to be able to just take a shower? Yeah, that in itself is it’s a thing that I desperately wanted to overcome, I had to figure out how is it that there are mothers all over this world, and some of them are single, or, you know, even if it’s Father’s and some of them are single? And they’re doing this on their own? How do you get everything done during the day? Because this is a giant struggle that all parents have to go through, even if you’re with someone, and you’re co parenting or, you know, you’re in a two parent household? It’s, it’s a struggle.
Adam Baruh 6:40
Yeah, absolutely. I have four kids. And I’m, you know, I’m definitely you know, as the father figure, I’m not here to mansplaining. But I have definitely the, you know, what I witnessed with my wife with are now six and a half year old. So this was my wife’s first child. And you know, it, I just remember how tough it was, in the beginning. It didn’t help that I was working at a job that required me to take the train at six in the morning, two hours away, and then you know, get back at 730 at night. But I remember when I would get back, my wife would tell me how she hadn’t been able to take a shower, simple things, like just even going to the bathroom. And I, you know, I’m just, you know, so grateful and thankful for, for moms out there. And I don’t think it’s something that’s not really talked about that much. I mean, between moms possibly, but, you know, I think moms kind of go under the radar kind of suffering with, you know, just the challenge to just get their own basic, basic needs met, like simple things like eating and going to the bathroom, it’s something we don’t really think about. But you know, when you have a little baby who is, you know, needing you every second of the day, it’s, it’s so hard to think that you just those basic needs are really a difficult thing to get to have met.
Karese Laguerre 8:11
Absolutely. And I like to use the word you know, suffering, because I really don’t feel like for many of us, we consider it a suffering. It’s more of like a sacrifice, where you have this little being that you just love so desperately, and you just want to make sure that that beings needs are met well above your own, right. And so it becomes something that can be a challenge to find that balance, but balance will come. It definitely comes for everybody, especially once you’re in that second child or third or fourth. Yeah, you develop it.
Adam Baruh 8:45
So were you it sounds like you were a single mother at this time. But you mentioned while at least in the excerpt that you were your son, sole caretaker. So, you know, what, what was that dynamic like?
Karese Laguerre 8:57
I was definitely a single mother at that time. And it was very difficult. I thought it would be you know, I have this dream in my head, right, as I’m pregnant at 18. And I really thought that, you know, I would have just this beautiful child that’s going to eat and sleep and poop. Like I didn’t factor in crying, I didn’t factor in getting sick at all. I didn’t factor in maybe not sleeping as much, right? I had this beautiful imagery, and when it didn’t come to fruition, it’s like alright, well, we just got to just got to make do with what we what we do have what we do have is a beautiful child that is, you know, crying and colicky and sick and whatever. And so it’s a struggle to do that on your own. Because I think for my family, they really wanted to have me be in that and to kind of feel the consequences of those actions of getting pregnant. So not having a partner or Yeah, what does that really look like? So I always knew I could ask for help, but it wasn’t something I felt like I should have done right away.
Adam Baruh 10:08
Now, what was your support system? Like were you living with your family still, or were they very helpful, you know, in those in those early years of your son?
Karese Laguerre 10:20
So he’s definitely living at home, but kind of in my own space. And so with, with him, I had him in a way separate from everybody. But there was no point where I couldn’t just, you know, go through the main door and just be with everybody, right? I just made that decision. And it wasn’t like, you know, people neglected to check in on me, I definitely had a support system that I knew I could reach out to, it was just the weight of that pregnancy. And the way how, like I said, My mom always wanted me to know, like, this was a really big thing that you did, and you have no idea what you’re getting yourself into, right? It’s like, I can do this. Kind of buckle down, and you do what you have to but they weren’t not there. It was just a choice.
Adam Baruh 11:17
Yeah. And so let’s talk about your journey a little bit. So So you were 18. And you had this child, ultimately, you know, I know, now you have four children, if I’m not mistaken. Right. And so tell us a little bit about, you know, that journey in your, you know, as as a as a young mother in your late teens, early 20s. And, um, you know, ultimately, I’d like for you to lead us towards like the work that you’re doing today.
Karese Laguerre 11:48
Awesome. Well, as a young mother, I think, especially with your first child, you’re very aware of everything that’s going on. So like I said, he had his own little issues, he was sickly in some ways. He was four weeks premature. And so we struggled with breastfeeding. And so we wound up not doing that. And I, I personally felt that guilt of not being able to breastfeed, so he didn’t get the optimal nutrition, which therefore led to whatever sicknesses he was going through. Right. And so that kind of weighed on me. So as that, as that early experience with that child, I wanted to do better with the next one, right? The next one wound up to be more of a crier, okay. It decent, she wasn’t great at it, but a decent breastfeed her. So I was like, Okay, we should be a lot better. And we shouldn’t have as much sickness and illness and whatever. But she wound up having a lot of her own issues, especially around sleep, so she would hardly ever sleep. And that was something that, you know, never got better. So as she got a little bit older, so while it’s the two of them, I have my son who is a boy, and he’s running around and..
Adam Baruh 12:59
What age was he at this point, then when your daughter was born?
Karese Laguerre 13:03
He was two, okay, when my daughter came in, and so he’s two and he’s hyperactive, and he’s all over the place and like bouncing off walls, but we expect that from little boys, right, they should be tearing up the place at two years old. And so I thought nothing of that. My daughter now born and next time she hits two or three, we’re seeing that we’re having these struggles with being able to potty train being able to have her contain herself because she is also now very hyperactive as well. And I don’t know if that she’s following her brother, if that’s just a part of her nature. And we really never got off of for her it was a legitimate 10 years, but we never got off of nighttime pull ups. It was 10 years of every night bad wedding. And he had her own journey and struggle. But when she was about three, then we had my next daughter and she was not a great breastfeed her and had upper respiratory problems very early on. So tonsils in fact, that ear infection and we’re going through this as a back and forth, and then the next one comes along, and it’s the same thing and like something about this is all okay, I’m thinking about this is so off. I can’t imagine that I have four children and all of them have something going on for these extended periods of time like the hyperactivity. That was that two year old boy now he’s 10 As I’m having my fourth child, and he is still hyperactive, and he’s still going through his emotional outbursts and what is it that we can, you know do about this? I mean, at that point, I’m a mom of four he’s 10 Or thinking okay, but there’s not much I can do except to accept a diagnosis of ADHD and to medicate. But the medications actually didn’t do much for us and The waiting it out for my daughter and her sleep issues didn’t help either. It was like nothing was bringing us to a sort of resolve. And it was really in me winding up working for that pediatric dentist. By that time around that same time frame, where my fourth one is still very young, that I started to put these pieces together like, oh, a lot of these sleep issues can cause what is manifesting in my son as ADHD, or these sleep issues are contributing to what’s going on with my daughter, and why she can’t really contain herself, she can really focus and get herself together, or what’s going on with these upper respiratory things with my younger two, these are all connected as well, one to sleep, but to also to just the way that they’re using their mouth. They did a lot of mouth breathing all of these kids and a lot of mouth breathing. And I had no idea even going to a top university. For my dental hygiene education. I went to the University of Medicine and Dentistry in New Jersey, I had no idea going to a university, where I had daily interaction with the dental school with the dental students with the faculty daily interactions, not once was mouth breather ever impacted as something we should be looking for as professionals. And so learning that and the connections to sleep has been profound.
Adam Baruh 16:35
So let’s let’s stay there. Let’s dive in a little bit further with the pediatric dentist that you mentioned and kind of when your eyes opened to, you know, really, perhaps what was causing their their sleep issues. What was that revelation like? And how was that presented from the from that pediatric dentist.
Karese Laguerre 16:57
So she was very passionate, and I loved her passion. And I would go with her to many different courses. And I would learn this stuff. And I would take it all in and I’d read more about it. But it didn’t click for me until I really got another person to see it from this perspective. So my second daughter, but my third child, the one who had the upper respiratory issues, I took her at the behest of that pediatric dentist, I took her to see another myofunctional therapist at that time. Now, I didn’t have my own training yet, but I knew exactly what this myofunctional therapist would be looking for and looking at. And so I thought you know, okay, maybe we do some exercises, it might help. Well, this myofunctional therapist, where we had an hour and a half appointment for an evaluation, she had us finished and I think seven minutes or something. Because she looked at her she asked her to do two different things. And she said this child cannot breathe. She needs help. And she needed surgery like yesterday. Wow. And so she sent me off. At that point. I am distraught, because I’m like What do you mean she can’t breathe. She’s been seeing the doctor regularly as far as her pediatrician. We’ve been getting all sorts of, you know, medical consultations for various other things. We’re seeing the neurologist for my son like i How could I miss that my child can’t breathe, right? Well, this myofunctional therapist, having nothing except asking her to do a couple of tasks, okay. Was able to discover in those seven minutes it’s something that the EMT that I took her to subsequently took almost an hour long appointment to get to. And when he finally scoped her, he said, Oh, well, she’s got a deviated septum and her adenoids are completely blocking one nostril. So the one words deviated, she’s got like a little 10 to 20% window where she can get air through, but the rest of her nose, the complete other nostril, and the rest of that one nostril completely obstructed, she literally could not breathe. Wow, that’s amazing. That was the turning point for me. Or I was like, how could I miss that? How is this happening in my home? Somebody else was able to look at her for seven minutes. And discover in that amount of time that this child is suffering. I need to do something I have to intervene now.
Adam Baruh 19:28
Yeah. What What exactly is myofunctional therapy?
Karese Laguerre 19:32
Myofunctional therapy in its easiest to understand form is essentially like having a personal trainer for all the muscles of the face. And I would say honestly, we’re going the muscles below the eyes but above the shoulders, okay. And why is that important? Because it really helps to establish the foundation of strength for those muscles. We get to proper patterning of those muscles and how you’re using them which is going to help facilitate better breathing, development and children swallowing digestion? And it’s definitely going to help them overall with their sleep.
Adam Baruh 20:12
Yeah, for sure. And so let’s bring it back to your daughter. So she was diagnose by the myofunctional therapist and seven minutes, like you said, so what? I guess what was the work like? Or how, how was her breathing improved?
Karese Laguerre 20:32
So it was a combination of things, right? So this Auntie that I saw that said, Oh, she really just can’t breed. She has this narrow passageway, we said, Okay, let’s take a softer approach, let’s not go into surgery right away. And you know, because that’s the thing you can have your adenoids removed, tonsils removed, he said, Let’s not go into that right away, you’re already working with a myofunctional therapist keep doing that. And then on top of that, we’re going to do the nasal spray. So we had a nasal spray to kind of calm down the adenoids, right. And so my pediatric dentist that I was working with, at that time, put in an appliance to try to help to rot in her the roof, her mouth, her palate. And so that palate, if we think about it, just structurally, the roof of our mouth is actually the floor of the nose. And so having a narrow palate, meant that her narrowness went through to her nose. And that is part of the reason why she was so obstructive. She couldn’t breathe, because she had no basis for the floor of her nose being big and broad. When working with the myofunctional therapist balance out the oral facial muscles, get her tongue up there to help provide scaffolding or support for that palate, working with my pediatric dentist who was able to put in an appliance that would help to facilitate getting that room in that palate, and then anti with the support of the nasal spray, and then subsequent check to verify that, you know, everything was going well, and that the septum was starting to straighten back out, didn’t get fully straight, but it got more straight, which is phenomenal, and that the adenoids did decrease.
Adam Baruh 22:15
Okay, so you guys were able to avoid surgery than it sounds like, yes. 100%. And so what was then or I guess, describe, you know, when she got to the other side, when, um, you know, how long of a process was that? And, you know, were these like, repeated visits that you had to go for with the, with the therapist? Or did the appliance kind of take care of everything.
Karese Laguerre 22:41
So myofunctional therapy helps to support all of the other things that you’re doing, right? So can you imagine, if you are working in a marathon, right, you’re running a marathon, and you’re trying to do it as a three legged race. And imagine if you practice and you work so hard to get to that marathon, you’ve been training for it, and then you’re tied to somebody who hasn’t trained and they’re kind of dragging you behind, your muscles will drag you behind, in any sort of appliance that you’re working with, or will drag you behind on your surgery for your adenoids, tonsils or maxillofacial surgery that they do on the jaws, your muscles will drag you behind in your recovery and your being able to function appropriately, if they’re not working, how they should, right. So I’d really like to liken it to personal training, because we’re working on muscles. And so you’re seeing that myofunctional therapist frequently Okay, once a week, sometimes twice a week. And then on top of that you’re doing these exercises at home to try to support it, right. That way, you have a really good support system for all of the other things that are going on as well.
Adam Baruh 23:54
So for people that are listening, and perhaps dealing with this with their own children on what was that total timeframe like between when you first saw the therapist and your daughter was diagnosed with this breathing condition until you got to a point where you’re like, you know what, it’s really working like she her sleep is improving her, we can tell her breath is a lot better. She’s breathing through her nose, like what was that timeline, like was that six months a year?
Karese Laguerre 24:24
The beauty of children is that it’s very it’s usually faster. So for her, it I would say we did myofunctional therapy for about five or six months. And then we had the appliance in for I want to say almost a year, okay. And then at that point, the EMT was well out of the equation because they don’t want you on the nasal sprays or the steroid sprays for any more than you know, around 30 days. So the EMT after about two or three months is out of the picture.
Adam Baruh 24:54
Okay. And so um, I mean describe how she is today like what do normal breathing great sleep.
Karese Laguerre 25:04
She is a phenomenal breather. She has a big broad dental arch. She does not need braces, she wound up avoiding braces totally even though her canine teeth, which people might know is like those fang teeth and pointy ones, those were completely blocked her she was so narrow that they couldn’t come out. And so by intervening a little earlier, around age seven, we were able to get her that nuff with that way we were able to get all the teeth to come down ideally. So she never needed braces, she sleeps beautifully. She is a wonderful students, she’s got a great attention span. I mean, I, she’s a totally different person. I like to say that honestly, with all of my children, I wound up meeting them for the first time at the conclusion of all of their stuff, because the person that you know, right now is your child is not who they actually are, once they are fully rested and able to bring in totally different people. Oh, absolutely.
Adam Baruh 26:01
And so I mean, today, you’re a myofunctional therapist. So let’s talk about that journey. I mean, I would imagine that just having gone through that experience, and really seeing them the positive effect that it had, you know, without requiring surgery was very enlightening for you. Um, yeah. So tell us a little bit about your journey to become a myofunctional therapist.
Karese Laguerre 26:26
So my journey, I guess it starts before I became one because like I said, I had the the beauty of having a mentor in that pediatric dentist, he was already familiar with stuff, we were already going to courses. But once I started seeing it and what was happening in my home and the blossoming of my children, that’s when I dove into courses very heavily. I mean, my first course was then followed up the next weekend with another course. And then the weekend after that I took a whole nother course. So that’s not typical. Okay, most people may take a course, get some space, take another course, like let the information digest, I just keep doing courses after courses after courses. Because I want to know, as much as possible, I want to be able to impact as many people as possible. Because once I saw those changes in my home, and I knew what it was doing for children, I really wanted to know how to help children. But outside of that, these children never come in by themselves. They come in with a family, they come in with parents, they come in with guardians, they come in with people who are their loved ones who also find Oh, you know what, I had this issue as a child or Oh, I still have problems with my sleep, or what is it that I can do about that. So it’s been a lot of educational coursework, probably over 150 continuing education hours so far, and still going. But it’s a long process. And I’m trying to learn as much as I can so that I can impact not just the children now, but also the adults.
Adam Baruh 28:01
Okay, and so tell us a little bit about The Myo Spot.
Karese Laguerre 28:07
The Myo Spot is a great place. It’s my wonderful private practice where we do myofunctional therapy predominantly, I do do a lot of other supportive therapies that do help. We work with cranial nerve balancing and reflex integration and Reiki and energy work and so forth. But myofunctional therapy is the foundation for all of it is a practice that is international at this point, because I do do work with doctors as far as getting referrals and seeing patients through teletherapy. All over the globe. But it is a phenomenal private practice where we do wonderful things.
Adam Baruh 28:49
Yeah, I mean, it’s got to be rewarding to not only have you know, gone through the experience yourself and seeing the effect on your family, but then to be able to provide that for children and their families as well.
Karese Laguerre 29:01
Yes, oh, it’s incredibly rewarding, because you’re seeing the changes, you’re seeing the growth and you’re seeing how it’s impacting the homes. Because even if you as a parent, you know that you’re struggling with something, like I said, we’re as moms, it’s not really a suffering, it’s more of like a sacrifice, right? Where we’re sacrificing or we may not get treatment for ourselves, but we’re definitely make sure our kids get treatment. You’re seeing that change in your child. It’s impacting how they are at home. It’s impacting their trajectory of growth. And it’s, it’s definitely making a change within the household even without touching every person in the household.
Adam Baruh 29:38
Yeah. And so leading towards 2020. I think I read it was February of 2021, you published your book on accomplished how to sleep better eliminate burnout and execute goals. So tell us about that process. When did you realize you wanted to write a book?
Karese Laguerre 29:54
In December of 2019 (laughter) It was a huge turnaround because you know what I’m telling you, this is a true passion project of mine, I really felt like there’s not enough, I don’t have enough time to impact all the houses that need to know about this therapy. So I should put all that I know in all that I can into a book that way more people are able to get this awareness that this is an option that this is something that may be secretly lying in your home as a problem, and it should be resolved and that there is a way to resolve that. And so the book, I really just put my head down focus on writing that book. And within about a month I was pretty much done and then sent it out so that it could be you know, proof read and all that good stuff. Yeah.
Adam Baruh 30:45
Well, that’s amazing. When we come back, Karese and I will discuss the isolation struggling parents face when they have to hide their challenges within the workplace. Stay with us. I’m Adam Baruh. And you’re listening to The Change from EIQ Media.
Kristin Taylor 31:32
Have you ever faced something so jarring, so overwhelming, and seemingly so hopeless? That all you thought was? How will I ever get through this? Hi, this is Kristen Taylor post of how I made it, bro. My new podcast that share stories of ordinary people who’ve navigated some not so ordinary circumstances. when life throws heavy blows, we only truly make it through when we are truly willing to go through all of it, feeling it and being transformed by it. The story shared will draw and inspire you. They may even provide the roadmap you’ve been searching for.
Adam Baruh 32:36
Welcome back to The Change. I’m Adam Baruh. We were discussing the journey Karese Laguerre took as she decided to write her book accomplished. So I want to I want to shift gears a little bit, I’m gonna stay on the topic of the book. But you know, when we spoke earlier, and then as I was reading the book, you know, there’s some some pieces in there that I thought, you know, for this particular episode I wanted to spend more time with, and we touched on it earlier, it really just has to do with how parents struggle, you know, through, you know, with everything that they’re going through raising their kids, you know, sacrificing sleep while they’re supporting their children. And so I’d like to read another excerpt from your book. “Now a mother of four, I struggled with many things in my household as many others do. However, some carry that in a more personal and private way, during playdates and casual conversation, we omit the persistent bedwetting and night terrors of your 10 year old, the never ending antibiotics that are dispensed daily to children that never really get well, or the ADHD that has your youngest child failing middle school that does not fit into the current social models of today. We share photos and happy quotes to let the world know we are okay. Even though we may not truly be.” So when I read that, it really resonated with me. Again, I you know, in my experience, I’m looking at, you know, my lens as a father and I it’s definitely different between father and mother. But I think in some regard, you know, it’s a shared experience. You know, I mentioned my I’m a father of four. My kids age from 22 is my oldest, and my youngest is two. And I have two girls, two boys. Interestingly, my two daughters, great sleepers. Always were, you know, I don’t know about my 22 year old today, but my six and a half year old. I mean, she is just a phenomenal sleeper. But my two sons. You know, I don’t remember so much with my older son who’s now 19 But I know that he did have sleeping issues, and very much it’s something that we experienced with my two year old he’s getting better but you know, he likes to get up At 445 515 in the morning, like he did today. And, you know, fortunately, now he is pretty much sleeping through the night, but for his first two years, and I talked about this a lot in my podcast and my experience, you know, due to a number of circumstances, but I was having a lot of like, you know, growing anxiety attacks, like, my, I’m just the way that they would happen more frequently with me and I, I kind of, I don’t know, for whatever reason, it took too long, it took me a long time to figure out really, where that, how I can address that. And, you know, part of it was that my, you know, now two year old, so he was like, probably under one at the time, and he was waking up like 567 times a night. And at the same time, I was working on a software project where I was, you know, working until midnight, one in the morning, so I kind of took on the responsibility from my wife, you know, I said, Hey, I’m already kind of up, you know, I’ll take our son when he gets up, and, and let you get some better sleep. And so I was probably averaging three to four hours of sleep at night. And, you know, it’s something that, yeah, our society is built, where we have to kind of set our personal experiences aside, when we go to our go to work and that sort of thing. It’s, it’s just that, you know, our society is not built to share these experiences. So, you know, what was this like, for you? What are your thoughts around, um, you know, why our society is built in a way where we just, it’s not set up to be able to talk about these things in an open, shared way.
Karese Laguerre 36:40
I think it’s hard living in this society where we can’t share openly and I’m hoping that we’re coming across a little bit of a change, because there is a movement for promotion of mental health or promotion of, you know, self care, self love, being able to appreciate that you too, are a person of value, and you need to be cared for just as much as every other member of your family that you may be sacrificing yourself for. I think, for me as a person living it and experiencing it. It’s almost scary and shameful, all at the same time. It’s scary, because there’s nothing that’s out there as an open example of things do get better, because nobody’s sharing that they’re even experiencing it. So you know, things are gonna get better. But it’s also shameful, because you feel like, Mom, nobody else is going through it. So what am I doing wrong, that my children are suffering like this? Right. And so, it’s, it’s a problem, but I’m hoping that we’re coming up on the other side. Yeah, I think that social media always has, you know, its pros. And its cons, just like everything else. And I think the beauty of sharing images and being able to share the good and the happy times is a phenomenal thing that has promoted the society to, you know, share your wins. However, it also encourages us to hide those losses, and to hide anything that might be negative, because you don’t want to put that out there on front, you would like to make everything appear as nice as possible. So if you have the American dream, put that out there. And anything less than the American dream, stay off. Yeah, don’t even post.
Adam Baruh 38:30
Yeah, I was having a conversation yesterday with somebody on a mother and she was telling me about, um, you know, when her son was, you know, his, I guess, around his first year, colicky, and she was struggling with postpartum depression, on having some issues, just, you know, with her husband, and, you know, describing how she would go to work, she was still working, you know, while having a young child and going to work and having panic attacks going up in the elevator to her office and, and then arriving at work and really just kind of having to hide that all day long. And I you know, I just think parents, it is the hardest job and, I mean, that’s such a true statement. And I just, you know, whatever we can do to kind of normalize that and, and provide a forum where people can share like, hey, like, things are tough. I’m not getting great sleep right now. But, you know, I’m doing the best we can like, you know, however, we can normalize that because I, you know, I have to imagine most parents are going through very similar issues like, you know, tired, overworked, stressed out anxiety. These are, you know, we spend a lot of time making sure our kids are okay and that our kids are breathing and that they’re getting good sleep, but you know, at the same time There needs to be a focus on us getting better sleep as parents, us doing the things, to carve out our own personal time to keep our own balance. So how do you do that today? How do you keep your balance?
Karese Laguerre 40:13
I think it’s incredibly important to just be mindful of the fact that routine benefits everyone. So I keep my balance by keeping a certain level of routine, I have time that is for me, I have time that is for family, I have time that is for work. You know, I think people nowadays are calling that block scheduling. I consider that establishing a personal routine, you need that space you need that time, you need to be able to reflect in some way now for many people, especially if you’re by yourself parenting or you’re just in your own space. You may not have that time and that availability. But it’s important to carve that out when you can so even if it’s everybody’s in bed, and you’ve just finished cleaning everything or getting ready for the next day, that point in time, take some time for yourself, you have to carve out that time, but it has to be a routine because if it doesn’t establish itself into your life as a routine, it won’t happen.
Adam Baruh 41:16
Yeah. Well, Karese, I want to thank you so much for being our guest today. As a parent of four I can relate to the challenges we all face and trying to maintain our own well being while caring for our kids. And I think a lot of what we’ve discussed today will help me to better maintain this balance and also our listener. So again, thank you so much.
Karese Laguerre 41:36
Thank you. I’ve appreciated being here. Thank you.
Adam Baruh 41:39
Karese Laguerre, is a registered dental hygienist and myofunctional therapist, she founded the Myo Spot, a practice aimed at amplifying oral wellness to whole body wellness through tele-therapy. She helps clients of all ages overcome tongue ties, TMJ disorders, sleep apnea, grinding anxiety and various breathing and Oral Facial dysfunction. passionate about education and self help. She published the book Accomplished: How to Sleep Better, Eliminate Burnout and Execute Goals available on Amazon.com.
Our theme song and sound engineering was provided by Shane Suffriti. You can listen to more of Shane’s music at www.shanesuffriti.com. If you have a story to share about blending parenthood with your professional life, or if you want to tell us what you think about our podcast, send me an email at thechange@eiqmediallc.com. Thank you all for listening. We’ll see you next time on The Change.
